|
Catch the Wank Show at Strafford County Jail
Foster's Daily Democrat | Submitted by: redrubberballs[salty]
"Lenny Belanger said he, his fiance, Heather Demanche, and their daughter, Rhianna, were bringing their newly adopted kitten back to their car in the humane society's parking lot Sunday afternoon when they suddenly heard a loud banging coming from a second-story window of the Strafford County jail... When Belanger looked in the direction of the noise, he said, he was stunned to see an inmate not wearing any pants and banging on the window to get the attention of passersby before masturbating in full view of the humane society parking lot."
|
From: catwoman [CopKiller]
Date: 17-Jun-2009 16:56
First off, shoot the parents for naming their child Rhianna! Uncreative cocksuckers having a pathetic attempt at escaping mid-life crises & trying to be trendy. Yeah, that will go over well what with the nudes that came out, & when she's no longer a popular pop star, great parenting! Didn't we learn anything from the 80's & 90's? Toyah & Brittany anyone? Anyway, a guy jerked off, big deal! Well, I understand for the kids but as an adult & with what I've seen it's going to take A LOT more than that to shock & upset me! Hell, I'd be laughing. This guy obviously needed some type of entertainment with where he's headed.
From: gingerbrown [as in sh!t]
Date: 17-Jun-2009 18:26
What do they expect, with a constant parade of pussies through the parking lot?
From: roaddog [pclynn]
Date: 17-Jun-2009 18:55
So what. They came out showing off their pussy and it got him turned on.
From: hippityhopp
[bunny meat is good!]
Date: 17-Jun-2009 19:07
From: vicmasterblower [don't mean glass, guys] Date: 17-Jun-2009 16:44 How come this never happens to me, LOL? ***** They're afraid you'll lick a hole in the glass trying to get at the peen? 
From: synther [Mr. Sarcastic]
Date: 17-Jun-2009 19:42
Catwoman, you're a dolt. I doubt that Rhianna was anybody when that kid was born.
From: gargoyle1
Date: 17-Jun-2009 19:45
Cute kitten and kid, dad looks like a retard though. If he thinks it's bad for the kid to see a guy jerkin his gherkin, wait'll the kid walks into the bedroom while he's stuffin mommas muffin.
From: sp00k
Date: 17-Jun-2009 22:25
Looks like their server crashed, didn't read it either. What was he in for? Indecent exposure?
From: reddbud [yah, still a virgin...]
Date: 17-Jun-2009 23:00
Ranks up there with that article where the kids walked in the restaurant bathroom and a couple of hookers and johns were doing it on the floor and the parents are like, "Oh my poor kids! Why isn't there a lock on the bathroom door?"
From: bedfart
[lurker in]
Date: 18-Jun-2009 00:16
From Greendeaths link.. "elanger did adopt a new kitten for his daughter, but he said even the cat seemed affected. "We had to take him to the vet yesterday," he said. "I think even he was sickened by it." ++ I Guess the Vet will give the Catatonic to make it better
From: cumbucket [cum bucket]
Date: 18-Jun-2009 00:25
I felt that family should had called their kitten Spanky. It would make an interesting conversations on how they got their cat.
From: tetheredgoat
[tetheredgoat]
Date: 18-Jun-2009 00:45
"When Belanger looked in the direction of the noise, he said, he was stunned to see an inmate not wearing any pants and banging on the window to get the attention of passersby before masturbating in full view of the humane society parking lot." --- Sure he wasn't drowning?
From: joemama [Joe Mama]
Date: 18-Jun-2009 09:38
Um, aren't jail cell windows usually pretty darn small so nobody can crawl out through them? How could he see an inmate enough to know that he was not only wearing no pants, but masturbating too? Unless that guy was standing on something and waving his dick out the window, I'd think it's highly unlikely. And that cat was probably the first pussy that inmate had seen in a long time.
From: k9terror
[charon fastboat]
Date: 18-Jun-2009 10:31
SHOCK THE MONKEY!! SHOCK THE MONKEY!! SHOCK THE MONKEY!! SHOCK THE MONKEY!! SHOCK THE MONKEY!! SHOCK THE MONKEY!! SHOCK THE MONKEY!! SHOCK THE MONKEY!! SHOCK THE MONKEY!! SHOCK THE MONKEY!! SHOCK THE MONKEY!! SHOCK THE MONKEY!! SHOCK THE MONKEY!! SHOCK THE MONKEY!! SHOCK THE MONKEY!! SHOCK THE MONKEY!! SHOCK THE MONKEY!! SHOCK THE MONKEY!! SHOCK THE MONKEY!! SHOCK THE MONKEY!! SHOCK THE MONKEY!! SHOCK THE MONKEY!! SHOCK THE MONKEY!! SHOCK THE MONKEY!! SHOCK THE MONKEY!! SHOCK THE MONKEY!! SHOCK THE MONKEY!! SHOCK THE MONKEY!! SHOCK THE MONKEY!! SHOCK THE MONKEY!! I bet that was a long ride home trying to explain that one. This is why you never take small children into the monkey house at the zoo. More proof humans are monkeys... heh
From: jaybegood
[Sir Robin of D'Hood]
Date: 18-Jun-2009 10:40
It really got good when the Father and his young daughter got in the car and she said "That guy in the jail had a nice dick, but Mr. Johnson next door to us has a really big one that he lets me play with!"
From: catwoman [CopKiller]
Date: 18-Jun-2009 10:53
You're the only dolt synther. Did you even read the article? The kid is just a little over 2, so Rhianna was obviously a pop sensation when they named their kid, plus I doubt those nice white trash parents looked up foreign names Btw-- your mother ain't shit!
From: lee451
[The Right To Own Guns Is The Right To Be Free]
Date: 18-Jun-2009 11:08
This is why many American jails have their windows painted over. This would have been a good time to tell her "Honey, the man is mentally ill and dangerous; he does that around people and this is why he is locked up, so he cannot hurt anyone". I doubt if she could have seen much more than the motion of his hand from that distance. Obviously, catwoman [CopKiller] is some hardcore piece of trash. Do you blow your daddy with that mouth? Who cares what these people named their kid? The comments thread in Rotten is getting really lame (thanks, catbarf [CopSucker]!). Fark.com may be full of pretentious, liberal, atheist assholes but at least they can make coherent (if extremely left-wing) comments. Now I remember why I quit bothering with Rotten's comment threads.
From: selmore
[dave]
Date: 18-Jun-2009 17:21
Monkeys in the zoo masturbate and throw do-do. We haven't evolved much. Cat- Show me those bad boys before I make the trip.
From: selmore
[dave]
Date: 18-Jun-2009 19:46
See. Some people are unaware how to get back at women that piss you off. Suppose a crack whore gives you the clap or crabs? What if your girlfriend breaks up with you and you don't want her too. My High School guidance counselor suggested I get into helping people and that's what I do. I solve problems. Ted Bundy had the right idea. Bitch piss you off? In need for an ass kicking? Simple solution. Tie them up and strangle them. Be sure to visit their bodies off and on for the next few moments for some in/out in/out. Here is a list of items needed: Fly Spray Ice cream scoop for scooping out the maggots Now, my friend Cat, the resident hackey sack, can assist in her own disposal because of her skills. Ask her to bring crypt fly spray, or a couple of fly strips. Maybe a stick up or two.
From: dikwitha [Dik]
Date: 18-Jun-2009 21:06
Now that a few days have passed, ask the little girl if she remembers what happened where and chances are, she'll say, "Huh?" Ya know kids forget stuff real quick at that age. Ya heard me?
From: simonjester [Bill Vojtech]
Date: 18-Jun-2009 21:16
So they got a little pussy and the inmate wanted some, too?
From: bedfart
[lurker in]
Date: 18-Jun-2009 21:49
..Sittin on the group "W" bench.. + ..Load up, load up, load up with rubber bullets Load up, load up, load up with rubber bullets I love to hear those convicts squeal Its a shame these slugs aint real But we cant have Wankin at the local county jail!
From: andreama [Frankie]
Date: 19-Jun-2009 04:23
Alright, so rather than waste tax dollars on doling out additional charges for lewd conduct, why not simply cover up the window areas with metal spikes to deter any obnoxious banging, except for a little pee-sized hole, where only the smallest cock could fit through, and if it goes too far, or gets too hard, the cold, sharp sensation of glass edges can really do wonders in helping you forget about that would-be orgasm. So now the problem would be rendered down to a fair choice - or at least fair in terms of what you can expect in jail; Either pass the time ever so quietly, while getting off watching the cute little kitties, and if you must ever so selfishly and inconsiderately make attempts at trying to be noticed by the outside world, then may you bleed all over the cold stone floor. If you moan about having to clean it up - then all your fellow inmates will be granted special permission to beat you down, while using you like a mop - maybe they can find more reason to shoot off their jizz on 'Wacker' dude rather than harassing random people in the parking lot. Now that's what I call real justice!!
From: other [unclassified]
Date: 19-Jun-2009 05:37
Couple of us visiting Caldor's pet dept to see a friend working there. While we're bs'ing, the spidermonkey in his cage shot his load on my buddy's jacket. It was real fun telling him he had to clean his jacket and why.
From: catwoman [CopKiller]
Date: 19-Jun-2009 06:12
lee- Then why don't you stay at fark? Would you like any cheese with that whine? Huh? Little bitch. I agree that the trolls on this site ruin it and that's why I avoid it at times, but there are interesting articles AND this is a public forum to voice your opinion! I contribute by submitting articles & voicing my opinion, if it is the opinions themselves you can't handle, if all you can do is bitch about the opinions instead of giving a good retort then LEAVE! You are the hardcore piece of WHITE trash with the disgusting shit you spewed and the fact that you think guns are what makes America. I bet it was calling the parents white trash that really pissed you off, well tough you gun lovin' hillbilly piece of shit God I love being Canadian! Dave- I thought you had a troll until I checked the bio, sounds about right. Resident hacky sack? Sure you're not mistaking me for yourself? You are right about needing the fly spray as the only way for anything to happen is over my dead body! Don't forget the viagra either for that piece of boiled macaroni you call a dick. I'll be seeing you in hell. Though it's going to take me a lot longer to get there than you since you're probably two/three times my age- Don't forget to preplan with me!
From: skorch
[Skorch]
Date: 19-Jun-2009 06:40
Animals have been observed masturbating in front of other animals, so it's perfectly acceptable for humans to do it too. That said, the real problem here is that our prisons are not designed properly. My design is simple and easy to build...we simply line strip mines with half-inch thick steel, then concrete them over with a lining of 5 feet of concrete...a concrete & steel superstructure is built over the entire pit to protect the inmates from the elements. As with most "progressive" prisons, we don't need bars on the cells, or even guards...no one orders the inmates around, and they can shower or eat whenever they wish. Access to my prison is by a series of tripled-doored halls, the inmate or food or clothing is placed inside, and the outside door is shut and locked before the inner doors open...inmates are responsible for distibution of necessities...I'm sure they'll be fair about it. We are not heartless...we will also provide them with the means for entertainment & excercise...baseball bats & equipment, Cricket bats for our limey visitors, spiked sports shoes, golf clubs, etc. will be generously provided. The guards will not be allowed to interfere with the prisoners, as this violates their human right to self-expression. We will broadcast the interior of this model prison on cable, as a reality show...and use the proceeds to fund the prison. There...is everyone happy now?...aclu lawyers?...human rights activists?...everyone in agreement?
From: catwoman [CopKiller]
Date: 19-Jun-2009 13:24
I know, I know. I do find you amusing, I am having a little fun with you myself. Trolls are the only scum on this forum that really suck. You are welcome to a private tour of our FH.
From: catwoman [CopKiller]
Date: 19-Jun-2009 13:34
Remember though, I am a feisty feline who will drag her claws all over you so don't dish it out if you can't take it! I'm curious, do you still do any work within funeral services or are you 100% retired?
From: unclefuckah [man eater]
Date: 27-Jun-2009 08:27
Yeah, stuff like this never happens to ME, either!  At the bathhouse, but it's not the same.  8====>~~~
Updated: 27-Jun-2009 08:27
| 
