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Ash Wednesday + Porn Messages + Church
KOB-TV 4 Albuquerque | Submitted by: Conspiracy Theory
"Santa Fe police say an Ash Wednesday service at the cathedral was disrupted by pornographic messages from three CD players duct-taped to the underside of pews."
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From: find [the pussy]
Date: 22-Feb-2007 14:47
I read that as `underside of paws'. Jeez, the imagary in my mind was awesome. I had to have a large brandy.
From: zebrabob [zebrabobsgotabigone]
Date: 22-Feb-2007 15:19
I sent this in under the headline, "Ash Porn"..oh well. Surprised no one's done this before...bet there's a copycat or two within the next year! (Easter IS coming up!)
From: gargoyle1
Date: 22-Feb-2007 15:20
They blew up 2 of them before figuring out they were just CD players and might be useful for evidence? Idiots. 
From: wiegehtesdir [Jimmy Jingo]
Date: 22-Feb-2007 15:43
"They have a cathedral in Sante Fe? " Nahh, just some adobe shithole they call a mission........
From: crazyanglo [Anglo G. Crazy]
Date: 22-Feb-2007 16:29
The article said no churchgoers were evacuated, but I'll bet some of those uptight jeezus freaks evacuated all over themselves when they heard the High Rotten Mass being sung...
From: niebelung [oregonian]
Date: 22-Feb-2007 17:04
I wonder how they rigged a timer to start the things. Maybe they left the discs playing and they had a long period of no sound at the beginning? *** "They have a cathedral in Sante Fe? " *** Every Catholic diocese has a cathedral. From the Latin word "cathedra" for chair, "cathedral" simply denotes a church presided over by a bishop. Since every diocese has a bishop, and the bishop has to be situated somewhere, every diocese has to have a cathedral.
From: bitchkilla [YouKnowMyName]
Date: 22-Feb-2007 17:36
Hehe, go Santa Feans. And don't you call that cathedral an adobe piece of shit. It's adobe and stucco.
From: sgrannel
Date: 22-Feb-2007 19:38
Why were the police involved? Can this even be considered a crime? The pranksters might have done better to place the CD players somewhere harder to reach. Also, adjust the volume so that only some of the people can hear it, that way it might be left running through the whole sermon. Nice one, anyway.
From: lordpakul [Lord Pakul]
Date: 22-Feb-2007 20:11
HaHa!! Best Ash Wednesday ever!! The audio supposedly was taken from a porno movie sound track. Video report here, complete with "wounded" parishioner: http://www.krqe.com/expanded.asp?RECORD_KEY%5BNews%5D=ID&ID%5BNews%5D=20005  
From: wulfgarthewhite [Black to White]
Date: 22-Feb-2007 20:37
Taped under the pews? That would be more like Ass Wednesday, yes? I take today's text from the Song of Songs, but first let me turn this water into wine! All right, beer then!
From: abandonedstation [Ted Moonkle]
Date: 22-Feb-2007 22:16
the altarboys were thinking, 'hey, i've heard that before coming from the rectory'
From: blahblahblowme
[my inner child is a mean lil fucker]
Date: 23-Feb-2007 00:45
light a few candles and burn them fucking down, both ends. This was hardly funny but in highschool, our history teacher used to look up at the ceiling tiles as he lectured... one day we put centerfolds up there and he was in for a surprise that day when he was doing his speal, never seen anyone turn that fucking red, fuck. Well this was an eventful day as well, because the principle popped in that day into our history class as well because during lunch, a picture of about 13 of us lined up at this party were going to flash our junk. Well when the picture was snapped, it was Rick Rock that was showing his little tiny pp and the rest of us were still whipping them out, well the principle asked if anyone knew who this prick was... and he says, " by the looks of it, it must of been a freshman." Santa Fe has got nothing on 'Bedrock', I mean Baldwin.
From: momchaney [neighborhood mom]
Date: 23-Feb-2007 07:43
If they thought the CD players might be bombs, how come they didn't evacuate the church? I thought only muslims died for their religion. Catholicism is a great religion to pick on. Second by Baptists, mormons and the muslims. (but not the jews. wouldn't want to be labeled an anti-semite) My brother was an alter boy. One day, he tripped during service and knocked a couple candles down. I went to a catholic high school. We often had service during school hours, and I got to be wine minister. Did you know that the wine MUST be drunk by the end of service, it cannot be stored, saved or thrown away. Guess who gets to drink the wine.
From: niebelung [oregonian]
Date: 23-Feb-2007 08:45
"Why were the police involved? Can this even be considered a crime? The pranksters might have done better to place the CD players somewhere harder to reach." *** Deliberate disruption of a religious service, or a class in a school or university, is a misdemeanor in every state that I know about (which isn't very many). Could always be classified as disorderly conduct or criminal mischief in any jurisdiction, I guess. Dis Con can be just about anything the cops want to call it. *** "Guess who gets to drink the wine"...well, usually it is the lay person who was handling the particular cup that has some wine left over. If for some reason not (maybe there is too much left, or the person can't consume alcohol because of medication being taken or perhaps alcoholism, or maybe it has become contaminated somehow such as a fly landing in it or a thug deliberately spitting in it or the like, there is an special sink for pouring it out. The sink is supposed to drain directly onto the ground under the church, not into the sewer system). Now you know the answer to your question, even though I'm sure you intended your question as a sneer, rather than an actual request for information.
From: skyeyez9
[Marie]
Date: 23-Feb-2007 09:55
I'm sure the evidence was analyzed over and over and over. .................. Officers saved the third CD player after realizing the devices did not have explosives. It will be analyzed for evidence.
From: keenejl4219 [KING JAMES]
Date: 23-Feb-2007 13:16
WOW! chill out pauli. WHAT the FUCK? cops blew them up? KILL THEM! waisting good materail like that is sin full
From: pauli [mean, but considerate]
Date: 23-Feb-2007 13:22
I thought it was really funny when I wrote that.
From: keenejl4219 [KING JAMES]
Date: 23-Feb-2007 13:29
I was hoping a ligtning bolt didn't git ya as you hit the period
From: keenejl4219 [KING JAMES]
Date: 23-Feb-2007 13:35
and please - WE all know joey the 'carpenter' had already and was banger her before OUR HOLY SAVIOR was sponded give me a break
From: brightwood
[Bright]
Date: 23-Feb-2007 15:06
And the moral of this story is: NEVER EVER EVER leave more CD players running than the police will blow up as potential explosive devices, lest you inadvertently provide any evidence which the police might fail to destroy on your behalf.
Updated: 28-Feb-2007 14:19
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