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Poop Bandit
UPI | Submitted by: Mr. Sprinkles
In the Homeland Security office no less: "An unknown man defecated in several rooms Friday afternoon and left on foot before an officer arrived..."
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From: unicorngrl83 [angel baby]
Date: 22-Mar-2008 14:05
M'kay. I'm speechless. Although, I must admit. I've always wanted to do this to my boss.
From: eauclaireliberal [eauclaireliberal]
Date: 22-Mar-2008 14:21
They need to pile it about six feet deeper... 
From: pontius
Date: 22-Mar-2008 15:23
He left the building ON FOOT? I'm speechless. Skateboard? No? By the way, Elvis has just left the building.
From: patsystonecheers
[Patsy Stone]
Date: 22-Mar-2008 15:39
"defecated in several rooms"? What did he eat? Had this job once, lasted 4 months, then I quit because I hated my boss so much. But my plan was to wear a long hippy skirt to work, take a massive amount of ex-lax, then stand on his desk in his office and take a major dump. But I never did it.
From: marquisdesade [Incarnate]
Date: 22-Mar-2008 15:59
Leave it up to the shit freaks to cast the spotlight on the inadequacies of our government - I salute that defecator, and if I could, I’d buy him a meal at an all you can eat buffet and drop him off to go on a tour of the White House.
From: rev [meupnpopmyclutch]
Date: 22-Mar-2008 16:32
The phantom shitter makes me feel so much better than Homeland Security.
From: bedfart
[lurker in]
Date: 22-Mar-2008 17:11
Homeland Scaturity. Code brown alert! It's all a mistake, i was delivering a load of brown25. jailhouse name, Winnie the Poo.
From: tat2dchick
[The Tattooed Lady]
Date: 22-Mar-2008 18:18
Several years ago, a friend of mine took a telemarketing job out of semi-desperation. The scam was to bilk old people out of their money for snake oil, essentially. After about 3 days my friend had had more than enough. He got up from his cube, pissed in the corner of the office and walked out. Said he wanted to be DAMN sure they never hired him back.
From: thegoddesofwine
[Denise Mercado]
Date: 22-Mar-2008 19:01
There once were two priests, father Dick and father Ray. One day after a very long mass, the two priests decided to hit the showers, halfway through there showers the priests realized that there was no soap. So, father Ray says to Father dick "I have extra soap in my room, I'll go get some". So he leaves to fetch the soap and doesn't bother to get dressed becuase who would still be in the church at such a late hour? So he comes back from his room with two bars of soap and is walking down the hall when suddenly he hears voices coming around the corner, so with his quick thinking he froze to the wall, stiff as a statue. The voices turned out to be that of three nuns, who, when saw him standing there like a statue stopped to look at and admire him complimenting at how realistic he looks and what a nice body he has. When suddenly one of the nuns reaches out and grabbed his penis. Startled, he dropped a bar of soap, with this the nun said "Oh look, a soap dispencer", wanting to test the first nuns theory the second nun reaches out and also grabs his penis, again he drops a bar of soap. With this the nun says "Yes it's true, it is a soap dispencer". Wanting to get her share of soap and excitement too, the third nun reaches out and grabs his penis. But nothing happended for he was all out of soap, so she goes on yanking and pulling his penis for the next few minutes until, to her delight, she squeals "Oh! Look, handcream!"
From: dikwitha [Dik]
Date: 22-Mar-2008 19:45
One time my best friend, when he was about 50 or so, went back to the local junior high school in the middle of the night, just to see how things had changed. In his words, he suddenly realized that he had to take a "serious shit". So he goes over to the girls locker room, take ALL of his clothes off, gets right up to the door of the locker room and takes a "mighty dump" (his words), then grabs his clothes and runs into the middle of the track, about 100 yards away, and puts his clothes back on, at about 2 AM in the morning. Now I knew he had a weird sense of humour, but this is a killer!
From: gargoyle1
Date: 22-Mar-2008 19:54
Simply snickers alot and goes to read the next article, knowing how they mystery pooper felt.
From: comesjulian
[the last pagan]
Date: 22-Mar-2008 23:32
Almost missed one http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&c2coff=1&rls=GGLG%2CGGLG%3A2005-26%2CGGLG%3Aen&q=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2Fsearch%3Fhl%3Den%26lr%3D%26c2coff%3D1%26rls%3DGGLG%252CGGLG%253A2005-26%252CGGLG%253Aen%26q%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.google.com%252Fsearch%253Fhl%253Den%2526lr%253D%2526c2coff%253D1%2526rls%253DGGLG%25252CGGLG%25253A2005-26%25252CGGLG%25253Aen%2526q%253Dhttp%25253A%25252F%25252Fwww.google.com%25252Fsearch%25253Fsourceid%25253Dnavclient%252526ie%25253DUTF-8%252526rls%25253DGGLG%25252CGGLG%25253A2005-26%25252CGGLG%25253Aen%252526q%25253Dhttp%2525253A%2525252F%2525252Fwww%2525252Egoogle%2525252Ecom%2525252Fsearch%2525253Fsourceid%2525253Dnavclient%25252526ie%2525253DUTF%2525252D8%25252526rls%2525253DGGLG%2525252CGGLG%2525253A2005%2525252D26%2525252CGGLG%2525253Aen%25252526q%2525253Dhttp%252525253A%252525252F%252525252Fuk2%252525252Emultimap%252525252Ecom%252525252Fmap%252525252Fbrowse%252525252Ecgi%252525253Fclient%252525253Dpublic%2525252526GridE%252525253D%252525252D0%252525252E12640%2525252526GridN%252525253D51%252525252E50860%2525252526lon%252525253D%252525252D0%252525252E12640%2525252526lat%252525253D51%252525252E50860%2525252526search%252525255Fresult%252525253DLondon%25252525252CGreater%252525252520London%2525252526db%252525253Dfreegaz%2525252526cidr%252525255Fclient%252525253Dnone%2525252526lang%252525253D%2525252526place%252525253DLondon%252525252CGreater%252525252BLondon%2525252526pc%252525253D%2525252526advanced%252525253D%2525252526client%252525253Dpublic%2525252526addr2%252525253D%2525252526quicksearch%252525253DLondon%2525252526addr3%252525253D%2525252526scale%252525253D100000%2525252526addr1%252525253D%2526btnG%253DSearch%26btnG%3DSearch&btnG=Search
From: roaddog [pclynn]
Date: 23-Mar-2008 09:49
This is normal..It just goes to show you what kind of shit stains they hire for our Homeland Security. This shows how lazy these trailer trash employees are. If you're stupid and lazy then you qualify for a position. Look at BUSH. He's total proof of what I'm saying.
From: kittykrusader [kitty]
Date: 24-Mar-2008 05:21
Come on Patsy, take that dump anyway.
From: kittykrusader [kitty]
Date: 24-Mar-2008 05:23
Now that I think of it, a few years ago when I was cashiering, I was cleaning up near the shoe area of the store and I saw I red t-shirt on the floor. Thank god I thought to take a good look at it before I ever thought of picking up because I saw a huge turd right on the shirt. My manager and I were convinced it was a deliberate act because the mess looked like it came from someone who could control their bowels.
Updated: 24-Mar-2008 05:24
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