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Group Asks for Divine Intervention to Ease Oil Prices
Cybercast News Service | Submitted by: DS
As if God cared about the global economics of petroleum distillates: "The Pray at the Pump Movement, founded by Rocky Twyman, has been holding prayer vigils at gas stations across the country. On Monday, Twyman decided to take his movement from Exxon and Shell stations straight to the steps of the Embassy of Saudi Arabia in Washington, D.C., hoping to encourage the oil-rich country to raise the amount of barrels they release each day from 200,000 to 1.2 million."
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From: gargoyle1
Date: 3-Jul-2008 14:31
WTF? Go ahead, babble to your sky fairy, won't help with gas prices. Faith based economy my hairy sweaty ass.
From: darkshadow [Dahhkness]
Date: 3-Jul-2008 14:33
Hey, these are the same people that caravan to the polling places to elect the next retard to run the country. And we wonder why we're in this shitty situation to begin with. Can i pray that these assholes die tomorrow? If so, I'll get into prayer more.
From: thesickthsense
[iseewhitepeople!]
Date: 3-Jul-2008 14:56
The whole World's impression of the US is based on zealot bullshit like this. Seriously, it's just a country. There isn't any higher prevalence of this or that from other Western societies, especially when compared to similarly-integrated ones. It's just more wired. That's all.
From: thepundit [America: the lost cause]
Date: 3-Jul-2008 15:20
Praying accomplishes nothing, just a crutch for the weak-minded. What's really needed are several high-profile assassinations of people involved with big business and the government. Nothing speaks louder than having the muzzle of a large-caliber rifle or handgun pressed to your temple.
From: azdollarbill [Jim Jones]
Date: 3-Jul-2008 15:50
Divine intervention huh? Do these idiots really believe that God concerns Himself with the cost of oil/gas? Especially considering that is men who fix the prices. Like has already been alluded to, we are already the laughingstock of the world...now we will become the laughingstock of the universe.
From: spiderviveka [viveka]
Date: 3-Jul-2008 16:00
Christians are fucking idiots. I say we kill them all and fuel our vehicles with their mummified corpses.
From: crapola
[Quit_Bitchin]
Date: 3-Jul-2008 16:25
 Today's reading will be from the book of Petrol. Chapter 2 verses 1-9. 1 I asked my Lord, "Whyest doeseth my car not goeth? 2 I am a sinner Lord? Is this the punishment for my weakness? 3 Oh dearest Lord, does not your gaze not see the suffering of your servant? 4 I have lattes to drink. Malls to visit. I humbly ask your forgiveness 5 For these acts may occur on the Sabbath. The Lord did grin. 6 Lo! And no my faithful. Though you are puny. 7 and weak and stupid and lazy and gluttonous and vengeful and wicked and very very bad, 8 I do forgive you. 9 But, it the Saudi's fault dude.
From: rotteneggs13
[a bakers dozen]
Date: 3-Jul-2008 17:02
If I pray hard enough will organized religion cease to be? And what a selfish thing to pray about; lowering the price of gas. No, they don't pray about world peace or wiping out disease and hunger. Hypocrites!
From: phyrricvictory
[bob]
Date: 3-Jul-2008 17:08
Fundies say the darndest things. http://www.fstdt.com/ http://www.atheistperspective.com/top-20-fundies-say-the-darndest-things/ PS. (And a nice big agnostic) Amen to pundit's post.
From: rotteneggs13
[a bakers dozen]
Date: 3-Jul-2008 17:21
Now you, yes you can now own authentic clothing for your children made with care by the brainwashed folks of the Fundamentalist Church of Latter Day Saints'. http://www.fldsdress.com/ Sadly they don't have the magic underwear for sale, yet.
From: roaddog [pclynn]
Date: 3-Jul-2008 17:56
Oh Heavenly Father, I truly trust that when I wake in the morning, that you have blessed me with a full tank of gas, new tires, a paint job, new interior, and a one of my old missing wallets on the frontseat stuffed with cash. In your name I ask these things. AMEN.
From: sirmalek
[greatmalek]
Date: 3-Jul-2008 17:57
Some trucker's got their prayers answered they just went to Tijuana bought a lot of diesel and went back to California, it's cheaper over there.
From: skyeyez9
[Marie]
Date: 3-Jul-2008 18:08
Build a giant hose to stretch across the ocean and sneak it into the saudi oil fields and siphon it into our country. Then get Monika Lewinski to suck on the american end to get the pressure in the hose going and steal all the oil. sheesh do I have to think of everything?
From: mikeisgreen
[Mike]
Date: 3-Jul-2008 19:20
The whole Judeo-Christian thing started with one divinity offering lots of riches and sex to a Human: ******************* "Abe, if you make me your one and only supreme divinity and ultimate authority, I'll give you untold wealth, and make a great nation of your countless progeny." "El, I like how you think. We're in business. But how will I produce countless progeny at my age? "Abe, Abe, Abe *soft chuckle* I'm not just El, I'm El ELOHIM, the highest of the high, the best of the best, and soon to be the only of the only. I AM IT, BABY! All you have to do is trust me and submit to my will, you know, the ultimate authority thing." "I'm sorry I questioned you, El. It's a deal." "Good stuff Abe. Now cut off the end of your dick. Show me how bad you want it. OOOH, yeah. That's the stuff." "OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! BLOODY FUCKING OOOOOOOWWWWW!" *much hopping about and bleeding* "Heh-heh. No go fuck your brains out, Abe." **************************************************** "Abe, I'm not too sure about you anymore. I don't know where this relationship is going. I've promised you the world, but, well, I don't know Abe. Sometimes I just feel taken for granted. You know, like when you act as if I'm not around. You've got all this other shit going on, and baby, it just makes me feel left out, and lately, it's been making me feel invisible." "I don't know what to tell you El, I've been busy with my sheep, and I’ve been swamped wi..." "OH! Those fucking sheep again. Even THEY'RE more important to you than I am. Abe, baby, you know I love you; Baby, you know that I promised you the world..." "Uh, yeah, um, El, I was kinda wondering when that would happen. I mean all with you being the sole divinity and supreme authority of the universe, I was kinda expecting you to, well, you know, keep your promise." "YOU BITCH!" **smack** "HOW DARE YOU" **kick** "Just who in the HELL do you think you are after all I've done for you?" **punch** "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE FOR ME LATELY!?" **giant thunder-like finger snap** "B-b-but EL! I sacrifice goats and sheep to you every week!" *pshaw* "Yeah, after you're done with them yourself. I'm tired of sloppy seconds." "Oh. You, uh, know abou... Um, Sorry, El. How about lambs from now on? They're virgin wool, I SWEAR!" "Abe, you are such a STUPID! LITTLE! GIRL! Get that ass I own up to the top of that mountain, and bring, oh, let me see, Yes, Isaac. Bring me Isaac. He's the pretty one." "But El! He's in his thirties! Wouldn't you rather have something a little fresher? How about that hot chubby 3 year-old over there?" "Nah. I'm not into THAT! Once I'm done taking over, I'll let the priests fuck children instead of sacrificing them. That way they'll be more experienced by the time they get to me. You might not believe this Abe, but I can sometimes be a little hard to please." ***************************************** "Abe? Abe?" **clears throat, hocking a loogie that eventually becomes Florida** "Hey, BITCH!" "Yes El?" "WTF is with this shit about your precious little city wanting to rape my Angels?" "But El, um, er, can't your angels take care of themselves against a few puny mortals?" "THAT'S NOT THE POINT, BITCH! WHERE'S MY RESPECT? Throw them your daughters, nieces, sister-wives, or any other inbred piece of female meat that you have lying around. Get my angels out of there. I don't care what they can do for themselves. THIS IS ABOUT ME!" You see? Religion really is the salvation of Humanity. GET WITH THE PROGRAM, BITCHES!
From: warsong [ARYAN PRIDE]
Date: 3-Jul-2008 19:48
The jews stole our government, Androloma. Now we only exist to protect them from the muslims who are there rivals!
From: mikeisgreen
[Mike]
Date: 3-Jul-2008 20:03
SHIT! I wasn't knocking Jews. I was knocking the origins of ALL five (count 'em: FIVE) Abrahamic religions. I believe in equality. 
From: robotpope [Kiss my Titanium ass]
Date: 3-Jul-2008 20:48
One prayer - zero miles Multiply by one billion - still zero miles. Get off your knees and force GM to return to the electric cars they destroyed a decade ago - now you're getting somewhere.
From: vomit
[Vomit]
Date: 3-Jul-2008 21:26
A bunch of Christian fundies gather outside the Saudi embassy praying to their God (not being Allah) in order to convince the Saudi government {being particularly nutty Islamic fundies) to increase oil production ? Sure why wouldnt it work ?
From: phoenixrising
[out of the ashes...]
Date: 4-Jul-2008 00:04
From: warsong [ARYAN PRIDE] Date: 3-Jul-2008 19:48 The jews stole our government, Androloma. Now we only exist to protect them from the muslims who are there rivals! ~~~~~~~~~~~ Jesus H. Christ this is going to be a full time job for me. Spelling lesson #211 their not there
From: theallseeingear [Bavid Dyrden]
Date: 4-Jul-2008 04:46
Let's write a prayer for them; "Dear God, we've been polluting Your creation all our lives. We've drilled precious oil that our grandchildren will need, and we've burnt it moving our asses back and forth to Walmart in huge SUVs. We've lived a life so wasteful that it would take 5 more planet Earths for your other children to enjoy it. So, thanks for letting us get away with all that, but can you do something for us now? Let us carry right on being fat selfish bastards. Thank you, and Amen."
From: studgerbil
[Stud]
Date: 4-Jul-2008 07:09
God put that oil over there for a reason. So these assholes are saying that God somehow made a mistake by not putting all the oil under the US? Why bother praying to a God that clearly fucks up so often?
From: other [unclassified]
Date: 4-Jul-2008 07:38
Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes-Benz...My friends all drive Porsches and I must make amends.
From: wars0ng
[ARYAN PRIDE]
Date: 4-Jul-2008 07:43
But U dont realize what the Jews have stolen! That evile Jew and his big, hulking, monstrous black minion with that unbeleevable long, hard member...... stole my virginity! They took it right out of my crusty man-vagina! And now I can never get it back, though I my lack of virginity does allow me to service Aryan Warrior cock on a regular basis, and has widened my asshole sufficiently to allow me to cram both volumes of dei Furherin's man Kumpf. But the Jews can never be forgiven, never forgiven for that one night of terror and ecstasy.....
Updated: 4-Jul-2008 13:25
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