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What Would Jesus Plagiarize?
New York Times | Submitted by: Sister DS
"A three-foot-tall tablet with 87 lines of Hebrew that scholars believe dates from the decades just before the birth of Jesus is causing a quiet stir in biblical and archaeological circles, especially because it may speak of a messiah who will rise from the dead after three days... "This should shake our basic view of Christianity... Resurrection after three days becomes a motif developed before Jesus, which runs contrary to nearly all scholarship. What happens in the New Testament was adopted by Jesus and his followers based on an earlier messiah story."
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From: noracejusthuman
[Alien From Earth]
Date: 6-Jul-2008 14:33
See , this is what happens when you don't SLAUGHTER everyone, Obliterate all their cities and completely destroy them as a Culture. burning away all records.... The old ways are best.
From: punkyrooster [The Fighting Cock]
Date: 6-Jul-2008 14:38
You realize, of course, that this opens up a whole new realm of cussing possibilities. A land rush of profanity, if you will. JESUS PLAGIARIZED CHRIST! SWEET PLAGIARIZING CHRIST! Or for short, PLAGIAHRIST!!!!!! Try it, next time you hit your thumb with a hammer, or something. If only I could collect royalties.
From: thrash
[I am, who I am]
Date: 6-Jul-2008 14:40
Honestly........has NOBODY hear of Prophesy? The resurrection of our lord Jesus was foretold LONG BEFORE it happened... You doubting thomases will do ANYTHING to disbelieve the fact that Christ actually existed, God help ALL of us at Armageddon.
From: gargoyle1
Date: 6-Jul-2008 14:43
Oh great, we gots us a religiotard on rotten now. Fuck off and die, no resurrection allowed.
From: androloma
[the Manchurian Centurion]
Date: 6-Jul-2008 14:55
Right on, gargoyle! Religious retards have been a major drain to society since Zarathustra, and I don't have the patience to explain to a zealot that he could learn his religion by reading its book. Eventually he could gain the insight that these people were writing to explain things they had no way of knowing. Stop spreading ignorance, newbie, and start hitting those books.
From: sirmalek
[greatmalek]
Date: 6-Jul-2008 15:04
From: thrash [I am, who I am] Date: 6-Jul-2008 14:40 Honestly........has NOBODY hear of Prophesy? The resurrection of our lord Jesus was foretold LONG BEFORE it happened... You doubting thomases will do ANYTHING to disbelieve the fact that Christ actually existed, God help ALL of us at Armageddon. ____________________________________________________________________________ One of my dreams I have even prayed for the Armageddon and the awesome destruction it would cause in fact one of my goals is see when that day comes, sadly it has never come.:(
From: androloma
[the Manchurian Centurion]
Date: 6-Jul-2008 15:04
Still, this find, if adjudged authentic, could have serious implications. I've half a mind to redub it "the Apocalypse of Gabriel" rather than "Gabriel's Revelation." I'll have to research up on a translation of available text, lacunae notwithstanding.
From: evildave [Evil Dave]
Date: 6-Jul-2008 15:07
Not to neglect Osiris/Dionysus & Horus.... http://www.religioustolerance.org/chr_jcpa.htm
From: androloma
[the Manchurian Centurion]
Date: 6-Jul-2008 15:15
Yeah aulduron, after-the-fact prophecies were all too common among the primitive Semites. Without television a lot of people had nothing better to do than impress each other with lies. Just like now.
From: androloma
[the Manchurian Centurion]
Date: 6-Jul-2008 15:27
Too many contradictions. If the death and resurrection of "our Lord Jesus Christ" AKA Yeshua Ben Nazareus Bar Yosephus, rabbi, weren't previously established by the myths of Horus and Baal-Hadad, Adonis, Mithra, and Tammuz; this little find may compliment the Dead Sea and Nag Hammadi scrolls to giving today's scholars insights into those deluding mythologists.
From: mikeisgreen
[Mike]
Date: 6-Jul-2008 16:41
HAVE YOU BEEN SCOURING YOUR EMPTY LIFE FOR MEANING? HAVE YOU BEEN ASKING NOTHING BUT “WHY?” THE ANSWER IS JUST AN ALIEN ANT FARM AWAY… Welcome, Friend, to The Way of the Cosmic County Carnival. Where we sincerely believe "visitors" interested in redneck cornhole games and cow cut-ups have created us for one purpose: We are alien entertainment as a freak show at the Cosmic County Carnival. A place where redneck aliens come to watch and get their jollies. We are their Jerry Springer We are their COPS We are their bearded lady We are their Miller Light & Colt 45 We are their Montel We are their NASCAR We are their FOX network We are Alien Trash Entertainment. Someone tell Tom Cruise (hey, it makes more sense than Scientology). Thank you Friend, for being advanced enough to express interest in The Way of the Cosmic County Carnival. I will rename you Skphht'yow, and will be by shortly to collect your sign-up fee. (hey, the Carnival must be financed somehow). No need to tell me where to find you. The alien rednecks will do that for me. Welcome, and tell your friends.
From: azdollarbill [Jim Jones]
Date: 6-Jul-2008 16:53
So, this brings us to THE question...Did He actually rise from the dead, or did grave robbers remove the stone? But then what happened to His Body? Did Mary Magdelin carry Him off, who assisted her? So many questions...Or perhaps He really did arise?
From: androloma
[the Manchurian Centurion]
Date: 6-Jul-2008 17:55
From: azdollarbill [Jim Jones] Date: 6-Jul-2008 16:53 So, this brings us to THE question...Did He actually rise from the dead, or did grave robbers remove the stone? But then what happened to His Body? Did Mary Magdelin carry Him off, who assisted her? So many questions...Or perhaps He really did arise? ********************************* Mebbe the Romans et him. He was nekkid after all.
From: liberumsententia [LiberumSententia]
Date: 6-Jul-2008 18:03
Son of a virgin mother? resurrected after 3 days? sounds like a hundred different stories that pre-date christianity-OOPS! I shouldn't have said that. I forgot that christians are stubborn self righteous sheep who believe the world revolves around their beliefs no matter how ridiculous and irrational they may be.
From: sawgunner [Doug]
Date: 6-Jul-2008 18:06
From: azdollarbill [Jim Jones] Date: 6-Jul-2008 16:53 So, this brings us to THE question...Did He actually rise from the dead, or did grave robbers remove the stone? But then what happened to His Body? Did Mary Magdelin carry Him off, who assisted her? So many questions...Or perhaps He really did arise? ************** Likely a three day coma brought on by his ordeal, but the yokels didn't realize it. We are not talking about a scientifically or medically advanced group here. After he woke up, Jesus pulled one last scam, then got the Hell out of Dodge before the Romans caught up with him and did the job right. And WTF is all the mad desire for the End of Days when it comes to religious deviants? The kind, loving religious people are mesmerized with the idea that God will kill everybody off and burn most of them in Hell for all eternity. Even God thinks such people are tards; He told me so the last time we went bowling. Wait till they find out what He REALLY has in store for them. Quite a few will be spending eternity as Roseann Barr's tampon. And those are the lucky ones.
From: gargoyle1
Date: 6-Jul-2008 18:12
Quite a few will be spending eternity as Roseann Barr's tampon. ================ I'd rather burn in hell thankyou, ack
From: skyeyez9
[Marie]
Date: 6-Jul-2008 18:44
But it is still cool that the 2000yr old stone tablet has lasted all these yrs with most of the text still written on it. I've never found anything more significant than an old trilobite fossil in a dry river bed once :(
From: terminalguidance [John]
Date: 6-Jul-2008 18:46
This in no way conflicts with the New Testament. The resurrection, as well as many other aspects of Jesus's ministry, are fulfillments of Old Testament prophesy. If genuine, this find is more problematical for orthodox Jews, since they are still waiting on the Messiah and reject Jesus completely.
From: thesickthsense
[iseewhitepeople!]
Date: 6-Jul-2008 19:10
How the hell can someone believe in a deity? Nothing matters more than me. If there is a God, I am him. Same for everyone else. You are your own Gods. It's all context. Like Schrodinger's cat, where YOU are the cat. Meow.
From: rotteneggs13
[a bakers dozen]
Date: 6-Jul-2008 19:52
Jebus is back and he lives in Siberia and his name is Vissarion. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article /2007/07/16/AR2007071601938.html I'm about ready to start my own religion, get tax-exempt status and milk all the money I can from gullible people all the world over. The god of my new fangled religion will be a crack-addicted toaster that talks to me & only me.
From: seeteufel [ciccio]
Date: 6-Jul-2008 20:05
The truth of God will only be revealed when the last priest is strangled with the intestines of the last politician.
From: siing9 [Singing]
Date: 6-Jul-2008 22:49
and Jesus said unto the people, bring me top quality weed so that I may commune with my father thy god oh, get me some brooze too
From: primus [big hair]
Date: 7-Jul-2008 06:09
take a look at Zeitgeist the Movie (free streaming video) especially the first half hour. The resurrection myth was based on astronomy. In other words, the Xians are worshipping the 'sun' of 'god' not the 'son'. Wonder if George Hamilton will be their next messiah? He worships the sun too.
From: learntoswim
[Ed]
Date: 7-Jul-2008 09:09
A lot of Christians will claim it is a forgery, just like every other document that doesn't support their narrow-ass worldview.
From: azdollarbill [Jim Jones]
Date: 7-Jul-2008 09:43
Speaking of Jesus Christ, and movies, check out:"Jesus Christ, Vampire Killer". Believe me, it is a trip and a half, lol.
From: ralph
[R]
Date: 7-Jul-2008 12:40
""Jesus Christ, Vampire Killer". Believe me, it is a trip and a half, lol. " I second that, intense action sequences!
From: windtell [Noman]
Date: 7-Jul-2008 13:15
Religious nut jobs repeat after me -- Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione.
From: brigadierland66 [XArmyXAF]
Date: 7-Jul-2008 13:49
Eggsy, my crack-addled toaster told me you're full of it. TBHNA
From: underchunders [Aloysius]
Date: 7-Jul-2008 15:00
I can't wait until the rapture occurs. then all the religious nutbags will fuck off and leave us alone.
From: theallseeingear [Bavid Dyrden]
Date: 8-Jul-2008 00:30
So what? My faith cannot be assailed by a mere piece of stone with writing on it. Because my faith comes from my emotions. And my emotions don't listen to logic.
Updated: 8-Jul-2008 00:30
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