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Peter's Broke
MSNBC | Submitted by: Depleted Your Cranium
"The British erotic retail chain Ann Summers recently released a poll asking people if they had ever been injured during sex. One in three said they hurt themselves somewhat routinely, though the injuries were about what you might expect: rug burns (to, ahem, the knees), muscle pulls, a conk on the noggin from, say, banging into the headboard. But..." [more]
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From: nekoturk [Amy]
Date: 6-Mar-2006 08:56
sometimes from emergency room doctors in bars. By the third martini, the stories often begin with, “You wouldn’t believe what I saw last night…” --------------------------------------------------------- Hahaha we all knew they did that! Those white coats don't fool anybody. We know they sport Rotten.com T-shirts under their scrubs. Boo-ya!
From: goofyarkie [clueless]
Date: 6-Mar-2006 09:26
I wonder if a broken dick is covered by insurance...
From: canadianguy [CanadianGuy]
Date: 6-Mar-2006 10:32
Gives new meaning to the term 'give until it hurts' eh! Did you hear about the drunk guy who was eating cheezies while watching a porn movie, and thought he had contracted a new disease when he saw his penis the next morning?
From: floydianslip [MidnightWonder]
Date: 6-Mar-2006 10:32
Strangely this article fails to add all the injuries that result from people sticking gerbils up their asses. I've never understood what would possess someone to do that either, but it happens.
From: conspiracy
[Theory]
Date: 6-Mar-2006 10:59
No joke. Back in college , was with this very hot girl .( Yes , they had colleges back then) We had no birth control , so we "played" another way. She was doing what she was while I was doing what I was , all of a sudden , she bit down , and drew blood. She said she couldn't help it , she got that excited. I tell my wife the little scars come from a drunken zipper accident. Yep
From: oddser5050 [does the pass set up the run or does the run set up the pass?]
Date: 6-Mar-2006 11:04
 I submitted this on the 2nd come on duder! I even had the cockbone ready to send 
From: redrubberballs
[salty]
Date: 6-Mar-2006 11:29
The same air-in-the-abdomen syndrome, or pneumoperitoneum, can occur during cunnilingus if your lover’s a prankster and decides to blow in your vagina as if it were a balloon. Women have died as a result. No kidding ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ I always thought this was an urban myth. No blowing raspberries in the old coochie-coo!
From: veryneardeath [almostdeaded]
Date: 6-Mar-2006 11:39
this is old news. when i had to take my wife to the er very late one evening they brought a guy in the next station who had a broken penis. he had waited awhile so by the time he got there he was in terrible anguish and his penis and scrotum was one big purple blob.looked something like a football with cirrhosis. all the doctors were taking a look it made their night. my doctor told me that this happens alot especiaal when there's very good women on top. you haveto make sure they practise good aim.
From: zombiejesus [Religiously Redundant]
Date: 6-Mar-2006 11:48
"I Think 'masturbation' is a dirty word. I prefer to call it 'sturbing'. I'm more comfortable with that....I like to do the stranger. That's where I sit on my hand 'til it's numb, then I sturb with it. Yeah. So it feels like someone else is jerking me of." ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Seriously though, this article almost has me beckoning for the chick who does the nut-twisting.
From: coondingee [Coondingee]
Date: 6-Mar-2006 11:52
I still have a scar on my leg from when I was going down on my GF and a bed spring stab me. I'll take that over a broken pecker anyday.
From: theallseeingear [Bavid Dyrden]
Date: 6-Mar-2006 12:04
Gee, I'm glad I never had sex; and you can bet I never will!
From: ciaochowbella [I didn't do it and I wasn't there when it happened]
Date: 6-Mar-2006 12:16
I fell off the bed during sex once and broke three fingers..... Another time, with the same man, we fell of the tailgate of the truck and both of us required stitches. However, both times we kept going until we were finished. We decided we were detrimental to each other's well-being and broke up.
From: gypsydances
[gypsy]
Date: 6-Mar-2006 12:25
we almost set fire to the apartment one night, while enjoying candles during our coupling, and appreciating the flickering and shawdowing they were displaying on our naked bodies. Very romatic, until in the heat of passion you forget you have them by your bed and throw out an arm or leg or some part of the body during release, thus knocking candles over, and while relaxing in the "after glow" discover your satisfied bodies and minds aren't the ONLY thing glowing....
From: lordpakul [Lord Pakul]
Date: 6-Mar-2006 12:42
It's somewhat puzzling, though, that there was no mention of perforated colons caused by horse cocks.
From: drsyn [This fish is dead]
Date: 6-Mar-2006 12:50
I am reminded of the famous Newlywed Game moment where a wife is asked to name the most unusual place she's ever had sex. She said "In the ass." Ha ha ha....ummm...yeah.
From: blowmebitches [Ohhh that's the good stuff]
Date: 6-Mar-2006 13:07
HAHAHAHA....They day I stick anything on my twat that doesn't take batteries...
From: teratomarty
[Self-made man]
Date: 6-Mar-2006 13:24
Once again, I send up a prayer to Priapus in hopes that this won't happen to me. So far, I've never received any injuries during sex that I didn't specifically request beforehand. Ciaochowbella, if anyone was unsure before, it is now clear that you are a hard-rocking woman.
From: bkuhl1948 [Pinky Lee]
Date: 6-Mar-2006 14:04
And then there's the story of the dude who on his wedding night took one of the brass napkin rings from the wedding reception. Later he used this to enhance his erection. After they finished he promptly went to sleep with it still on. He woke up in agony with a bloated purple super boner. The problem presented quite a quandary for the e.r. doctor. Finally a hospital maintenance person was called in with a box of tools including a hacksaw.
From: jetboi
[jetto boi]
Date: 6-Mar-2006 14:13
Ha ha ha ewwww. It's funny 'cause it's painful. Surprisingly, I can't think of any terribly serious sexual accidents in my past. From: floydianslip [MidnightWonder]
Date: 6-Mar-2006 10:32
Strangely this article fails to add all the injuries that result from people sticking gerbils up their asses. I've never understood what would possess someone to do that either, but it happens. Actually, it doesn't. There is no documented case of somebody putting a gerbil in their ass. (And your cousin's ex-boyfriend's sister's friend doesn't count as a documented source.)
From: ciaochowbella [I didn't do it and I wasn't there when it happened]
Date: 6-Mar-2006 14:42
From: allang [Lord Pavesini] Date: 6-Mar-2006 12:46 Ciao...the tailgate of a truck?? Are you serious? -------------------------- Yes. You should try it....quite enjoyable if one doesn't get hurt. Teratomarty, I'm not really hard-rocking, just exuberant and accident prone.
From: cunnilinguist [cazzodurissimo]
Date: 6-Mar-2006 14:44
Richard Gere isn't documented?
From: mikeisgreen
[Mike]
Date: 6-Mar-2006 14:50
From: ciaochowbella [I didn't do it and I wasn't there when it happened] Date: 6-Mar-2006 12:16 "Another time, with the same man, we fell of the tailgate of the truck and both of us required stitches." ------------------------------------------------- You really are a redn southern belle, aren't you?  Alas, being the sweet, innocent, little boy that I am, I have no injury stories to relate...unless you want to count the time, but nah, that's to rotten for Rotten. Never mind.
From: jetboi
[jetto boi]
Date: 6-Mar-2006 15:01
From: cunnilinguist [cazzodurissimo]
Date: 6-Mar-2006 14:44
Richard Gere isn't documented? Cite your sources, please.
From: rednecknightmare [dude]
Date: 6-Mar-2006 15:07
and this one time....at band camp....
From: ciaochowbella [I didn't do it and I wasn't there when it happened]
Date: 6-Mar-2006 15:08
I'm with Jettboi.....do tell, Mike. And it's ok to call me a redneck....it's just one facet to my Sybil-like persona.
From: richardcranium
[Phil McCracken]
Date: 6-Mar-2006 15:29
Here's some (fake?) gerbil stories: http://www.studio8.net/online/Articles/gerbilass.html This one has a funny story to listen to - it takes a few seconds to get started. http://buttrodent.ytmnd.com/ It might not happen very often, but after all the other things I've seen on the internet, it wouldn't surprise me.
From: issues
[got a subscription]
Date: 6-Mar-2006 15:34
Mike, inquiring minds wanna know! I once knocked a small trailer off the blocks and almost squished some nosy friends listening in. Bella, you so rock sister! I like me a tailgate as well, they don't call em truck beds for nothing!
From: mikeisgreen
[Mike]
Date: 6-Mar-2006 15:41
A jar of mayonnaise; A picnic blanket; A leather belt; A tree; a roll of Saran Wrap; A bicycle; A squirrel; A sweet, innocent, little boy. You do the Rotten math.
From: ciaochowbella [I didn't do it and I wasn't there when it happened]
Date: 6-Mar-2006 16:02
From: mikeisgreen [Mike] Date: 6-Mar-2006 15:41 A jar of mayonnaise; A picnic blanket; A leather belt; A tree; a roll of Saran Wrap; A bicycle; A squirrel; A sweet, innocent, little boy. You do the Rotten math. ------------------------------- Mike, my Rotten math comes up something entirely incompatible with sweetness and innocence...........still, you sound like one fun Saturday night. Mayonnaise AND a squirrel? Shocking, truly shocking.....
From: coprophiliac [coprophiliac]
Date: 6-Mar-2006 16:03
Great. Now I'm going to spend the rest of my life stressing about getting a broken dick.
From: twiglet [Mmmm. Salty.]
Date: 6-Mar-2006 17:01
"...rug burns (to, ahem, the knees)." -- How come I get rug burns on my elbows and not my knees? Must be doing something wrong...
From: gkdmaths [george hayduke]
Date: 6-Mar-2006 17:43
I burst a monster cyst on my GFs right ovary new years 98/99. she spent 6 days in the hospital after emergency surgery to stop the bleeding, and I didnt get to finish. Now, that was painful sex! /gkd
From: mikeisgreen
[Mike]
Date: 6-Mar-2006 17:51
Bella! Saturday night?! I usually take the whole weekend, dear. (Remember, I'm a sweet, innocent, little, Canadian boy.)
From: jetboi
[jetto boi]
Date: 6-Mar-2006 18:12
Mike, considering your "one-bullet" platform, I'm gonna assume the sweet, etc., little boy is you. So I say, If by "innocent," you mean "as adventurous as Bella!"
From: absinthe [Green Death]
Date: 6-Mar-2006 18:48
From: mikeisgreen [Mike] Date: 6-Mar-2006 15:41 A jar of mayonnaise; A picnic blanket; A leather belt; A tree; a roll of Saran Wrap; A bicycle; A squirrel; A sweet, innocent, little boy. You do the Rotten math. ------------------------------- ROFL -- Sounds like one hell of a treasure hunt -- YAY Mike!
From: lordpakul [Lord Pakul]
Date: 6-Mar-2006 19:25
Now, about that issue of the gerbilling of Richard Gere: http://urbanlegends.about.com/od/celebrities/a/richard_gere.htm http://www.snopes.com/risque/homosex/gerbil.asp 
From: ciaochowbella [I didn't do it and I wasn't there when it happened]
Date: 6-Mar-2006 19:54
Mike, are you suggesting I try to lure a Canadian into my bed? Hmmm? Haven't thought of that.... The whole weekend you say.... So, does that mean Monday through Friday you don't get "sweet and innocent"?
From: ciaochowbella [I didn't do it and I wasn't there when it happened]
Date: 6-Mar-2006 19:56
Jetboi, I am not terribly adventurous....just exuberant and clumsy. (Ok, maybe I am adventurous.)
From: palokin [Nikola]
Date: 6-Mar-2006 20:05
I think we are about to witness the first Rotten hook-up in the history of... well, Rotten.
From: jester5150 [jester5150]
Date: 6-Mar-2006 20:07
This brings back a bad memory. As a teen, my girlfriend and I fell through the floor of an old treehouse while having sex. Unfortunately, I landed on top of her 20 feet or so below. Broke my collarbone, broke her leg and her foot. Think that was the reason we broke up...hehe.
From: bobthebuilder [tomato soup]
Date: 6-Mar-2006 20:21
ciaochowbella, i want in on this.
From: ciaochowbella [I didn't do it and I wasn't there when it happened]
Date: 6-Mar-2006 20:46
Guys, I said a Canadian, not necessarily Mike....although he is the obvious choice. How many Canucks we got with us here tonight? Show of hands....
From: ciaochowbella [I didn't do it and I wasn't there when it happened]
Date: 7-Mar-2006 06:30
Guess the only REAL man is a sweet, innocent little boy.........
From: y0usuck [Cheese Cake]
Date: 7-Mar-2006 08:20
The only "sex injury" I ever had was extreme soreness and bruised hipbones. I was a 20 y/o virgin when I first met my husband and I went a little overboard.
From: mephistopheles
[Mephistopheles]
Date: 7-Mar-2006 08:33
Sex has never been painful for me, just noisy. Most of the women I take home always cry the same things like "please let me go, I won't tell anyone", and the usual "you are going to untie me, right?". Stupid women, I have no intention of letting you go... EVER... (ominous tone)
From: juniorbullit [Jen]
Date: 7-Mar-2006 08:51
Moved North with a Canuck. We have 'sex proofed' our home, as I have a tendency to throw things around the house without realizing what I'm doing. We also prefer being outside rather than in if weather permits....lol
From: chowdapipe [Dr. Nuge]
Date: 7-Mar-2006 10:50
Why do redneck's do it doggie style? So they both can watch wrasslin. How does a redneck tell his woman to turn off the lights before sex? Close the truck door, bitch.
From: titznazz [M.I.L.F.]
Date: 7-Mar-2006 19:19
I know it's old but I had to post my experiece: Upon me and hubby's (at the time bf) christening of our first apartment, we decided to "do it" (heh-heh) in the shower. Porcelain shower. Needless to say everybody at work kept hinting at my rolling pin up the ass walk and saying that HR dept. could help with domestic violence issues. Now when we do it in the shower, we just dog it. Four on the floor, man.
Updated: 12-Mar-2006 10:51
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