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"Please fix Scooby Doo because he saved my life"
MSNBC | Submitted by: Graehme de Parke, Esq.
"U.S. soldiers in Iraq are giving nicknames and forming emotional bonds with bomb-defusing robots they have come to regard as teammates, according to the founder of the company that invented the machines."
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From: theallseeingear [Bavid Dyrden]
Date: 24-May-2006 14:13
Meanwhile, some of these same soldiers are referring to actual human beings as "towel-heads".
From: observerx [Monkey mind at its best]
Date: 24-May-2006 15:05
Is anyone surprised by this? We're a nation of motherfucking cyborgs, with people glued to computer screens, punching buttons on video game controllers, earbuds shoved in our ears, Bluetooth mics and earpieces practically glued to our heads, and some company manufacturing realistic-looking female dolls using movie special-effects tek. The average motherfucker would rather post to his blog than sit across the table with a friend and have a conversation. So, fuck yeah, these guys are attached to their robot friends. I'm surprised they haven't named one of the bots Jesus.
From: observerx [Monkey mind at its best]
Date: 24-May-2006 15:15
Robojesus, I stand correctified and ask your forgivnification.
From: haakon [Haakon is]
Date: 24-May-2006 15:43
The actual headline should be: "Please fix Scooby Doo because he saved my life" (and he yanks a mean dick.)
From: cirrocco [Cirrocco]
Date: 24-May-2006 16:03
It's easy to anthromoporphise something that saves your life, or even an inanimate object that is just a part of your everyday life. How many people name their cars? Or boats? Be honest: did you feel a little sympathetic for R2D2 when he got shot and fell over with a little moan in Star Wars, Episode 4? It may just be a pile of bolts and gears, but if it's saving your life maybe you feel THAT pile of bolts and gears is greater than the sum of its parts. I say not only fix Scooby Doo, but give him a "scar" and a mean grin and cigar when you do. Oh, and a tattoo that says, "Born to Kill." No, WAIT! And another tattoo of his girlfriend: the platoon's toaster!
From: rottendrew
[andrew]
Date: 24-May-2006 16:09
Problem solved Fuck Scooby Doo! you lazy no good button pushing sonofabitch! Get in their and disarm those roadside bombs like a man! Fagot panty waste! Don't piss on my back and tell me its raining tinker bell. We all know your a gutless wonder!! 
From: georgedublubusch [Head pooBa]
Date: 24-May-2006 16:26
From: theallseeingear [Bavid Dyrden] Date: 24-May-2006 14:13 Meanwhile, some of these same soldiers are referring to actual human beings as "towel-heads". And we still refer to you as a dumb ass limey 
From: zman1
[Zman1]
Date: 24-May-2006 18:49
well people have been attached to weapons for thousands of years. any body hear about the story of excalibur.
From: dickhead [I'm just better, than you]
Date: 24-May-2006 19:12
We are the US army and we fight for peace. What are the guns for Sir? Err, to err shoot people. But that's horrible! It's okay son, they were bad people. How do you know they were bad people? Do you have a background check on them and looked at their pass crimes? Nah, that will take too long. I just use my God given instinct. I am a Southern Baptist you know. Good God! Christians killing people! Praise the Lord.
From: melvin69
[John Bong]
Date: 24-May-2006 19:28
From: daveythedumbass [Davey the Dumbass]
Date: 24-May-2006 15:21
A few weeks ago I saw a woman taking her Roomba into a Sheraton. A fucking hotel. Why the fuck do you bring your own vacuum to a hotel?
Must be those "special" attachments she is so fond of. Result from doing a google search of vacuum cleaner sex: Vacuum job (Note: this is potentially dangerous and should not be tried by anyone)
I like to get a canister vacuum cleaner, undo the long end so that just the base of the hose is free. Then I position my clit with one hand and mount the mouth of the hose against it. This is the greatest way to ""fly solo"". Guys really dig watching a vacuum cleaner suck me off. You learn to adjust the suction level to your personal preference. I am a professional by now, having started at age 13, so I can turn up the suction really hard. This is must be what heaven is like. Plus that vacuum's mouth never gets tired or changes pace when I'm getting ready to come. Try this!!
Vacuum it (Note: this is dangerous and not recommended)
I like to turn on the vacuum and take the hose and apply it lightly to clit and pull it away then re-apply it and pull it away. I can come quickly this way.
Ok, the spell checker doesn't like the word clit, says it's mispelled. Go figure.
From: browwiw [browwiw]
Date: 24-May-2006 20:11
"Please fix Scooby Doo because he saved my life" =-=-=-=-=-=-= Sounds like that autistic kid made it into the Cavalry Scouts, afterall.
From: medman420 [Cloning Time]
Date: 24-May-2006 20:16
Hmmm kinda reminds me of that time I had sex with an m16. Her name was Juliette and she shot damn good and never broke on me once. We did have a jam though when I was dragging her through the dirt without lube. I miss my love affairs with fully automatic weapons.
From: sullengirl [NameLess]
Date: 24-May-2006 22:12
This seriously makes me wanna cry. Being drunk doesn't help. Wow I type really well for being drunk!
From: sullengirl [NameLess]
Date: 24-May-2006 23:26
It's the same reason guys in prison adopt a rat or spider in their jail cell: because they lack human contact (in a good way). It makes them feel human. In a situation such as war, where you witness such depravity & violence, you need something to attach on to that you normally wouldn't, in order to keep you sane.
From: jimjonesin
[sucka FREE]
Date: 25-May-2006 01:51
This Reuters article reads like an IRobot company press release. Also, having to share your company name with a Will Smith movie has to suck. IRobot has sold about 2 million Roombas, the company announced on Monday. It doubled its first-quarter revenue to $38.2 million from a year earlier.
But investors have punished the stock, driving its price to about $21 from the mid-$30s in recent months as the company failed to turn a profit due to a near tripling of marketing costs.
“I think they are in the early innings of this market opportunity,” said Jonathan Dorsheimer, director of research at capital management firm Canaccord Adams.
IRobot will use the defense market to develop technology that it can then use as the basis for lower-cost consumer applications, he said. For example, he suggested the company might develop a robotic lawn mower in this fashion. In other words, here is a thinly veiled article lending a positive spin on the company and its stock future, with just a modicum of subtlety it screams at us, " Buy!". Though it weaves a story that gives investors a real and personal bond with the product and its significance, these paragraphs assuage any doubts we may have about the financial risk of investing in a company that is losing money. Oh IRobot, your ingratiation with the powers that be in media who dictate what we see and hear will eventually win us over. Till then, no fucking way am I getting a Roomba.
From: cracker666
[honkey Infidel]
Date: 25-May-2006 02:07
From: melvin69 [John Bong] Date: 24-May-2006 19:28 Ok, the spell checker doesn't like the word clit, says it's mispelled. Go figure. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Try clitoris ?  And for those of you that are visually impaired 
From: cracker666
[honkey Infidel]
Date: 25-May-2006 02:09
From: fenianbastard [Fenian Bastard] Date: 25-May-2006 02:00 anyone else notice the company's name is "I Robot"? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ From: teratomarty [Self-made man] Date: 24-May-2006 19:39 
From: headlesschrist
[decapitated messiah]
Date: 25-May-2006 04:01
Hopefully, the only casualties from these roadside bombs will be the bomb-defusing robots. Our troops don't deserve to die at the hands of these cowardly muslims. Call 'em what you want...towelhead, raghead, sandnigger -- they're all the same.
From: skyeyez9
[Marie]
Date: 25-May-2006 07:56
Of course they love scooby doo. Scooby is doing a very dangerous job that the soldiers would be doing if scooby was out of commission. I'd love and grieve for scooby doo too.
From: squrm [FuckinBlaine!]
Date: 25-May-2006 12:28
Cowardly muslims?! To be a citizen in an occupied country...bombed from afar, shot from afar, occupied by a vastly superior military force...tons of your countrymen being slaughtered en masse. How dare they resort to any means left to their disposal, the fucking nerve! Why, they should simply lie down and die to save us the trouble of killing them. I hate you. I hate people like you. Your kind are a cancer on our planet, and when the shit hits the fan oneday, (and it will) youd better watch your fucking back. The path back to reason should be paved upon your bones. I bet you still believe in the wmd story for christsake...
From: pussypounder [deeppenetrator]
Date: 25-May-2006 18:12
Bull fucking shit. I did this job for my first five months in Iraq and we didn't give a shit when we had some robots blown up. Stupidest shit I have read for in a long time.....
From: melvin69
[John Bong]
Date: 25-May-2006 19:08
From: fenianbastard [Fenian Bastard]
Date: 25-May-2006 02:00
anyone else notice the company's name is "I Robot"? Teratomarty posted a pic from the movie even before jimjonesin posted the article. I wouldn't buy anything from a company named IRobot after seeing that movie. Wonder if any of the R&D people got thrown out of the window yet.
From: comesjulian
[the last pagan]
Date: 26-May-2006 10:10
Cowardly muslims?! To be a citizen in an occupied country...bombed from afar, shot from afar, occupied by a vastly superior military force...tons of your countrymen being slaughtered en masse. How dare they resort to any means left to their disposal, the fucking nerve! Why, they should simply lie down and die to save us the trouble of killing them. I hate you. I hate people like you. Your kind are a cancer on our planet, and when the shit hits the fan oneday, (and it will) youd better watch your fucking back. The path back to reason should be paved upon your bones. I bet you still believe in the wmd story for christsake... -------------------------- You are the reason why the West stands no chance, why in 50-100 years all of Europe and perhaps parts of America will be under Sharia law. We came into that country (admittedly, under false pretexts) to get rid of a brutal dictator that the people hated and wanted gone, and what do we get? Should we have gone into Iraq in the first place? NO... but only because those Muslim barbarians deserve Saddam Hussien; in fact, taking him out was such a mistake, I think we should put him back into power. Islam (NOT necessarily all people born into the Muslim faith, but the religion itself) is the height of cruelty and disgusting religious excess. Worse than Christianity, worse than Nazism, Communism, racism (and Islam shares much in common with all of those disgusting things) Islam must be stopped. Death to Islam.
From: headlesschrist
[decapitated messiah]
Date: 26-May-2006 11:25
---------------------------------------- From: spurm [FuckinBlaineInTheAss!] Date: 25-May-2006 12:28 Cowardly muslims?! To be a citizen in an occupied country...bombed from afar, shot from afar, occupied by a vastly superior military force...tons of your countrymen being slaughtered en masse. How dare they resort to any means left to their disposal, the fucking nerve! Why, they should simply lie down and die to save us the trouble of killing them. I hate you. I hate people like you. Your kind are a cancer on our planet, and when the shit hits the fan oneday, (and it will) youd better watch your fucking back. The path back to reason should be paved upon your bones. I bet you still believe in the wmd story for christsake... ------------------------------------------- You're goddamn right I mean it! I'm sick and tired of hearing about that sweaty asscrack known as the Middle East. It would appear that you are in sympathy with those who would destroy our way of life if given the slightest chance. If you pity these muslims so much, then I challenge you to renounce your American citizenship and join their Jihad right away. Go quickly, Osama needs you!
From: noodleboy
[Abstract Aardvark]
Date: 26-May-2006 11:32
Our way of life, our traditions of free speech, freedom of religion, and tolerance of dissent, will be best defended by encouraging those who disagree with the hatred of Muslims to shut the fuck up. Sounds reasonable to me.
From: brainspore [Brainspore]
Date: 27-May-2006 06:46
From: headlesschrist [decapitated messiah]
Date: 26-May-2006 11:25
...You're goddamn right I mean it! I'm sick and tired of hearing about that sweaty asscrack known as the Middle East. By all indications the Middle East is even more sick and tired of America. I don't see why it's so surprising that guys would get so attached to an inanimate object like a robot- look at all the guys over here that fawn over cars that never even TRIED to save anybody's life.
From: slartibartfast [(The TRUE Psycho)]
Date: 27-May-2006 16:30
Comesjulian [the last pagan]: I assume you are referring to the "removal" of Saddam Hussein - and, pray remind me, exactly who "arranged" for him to be placed in his position of power, with full knowledge of his background and an absolutely certain knowledge of how he would behave once in power??
Updated: 30-May-2006 01:51
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