|
Santa Riot
Wire Services | Submitted by: snyznyk
"Forty drunken Santas rampaged through central Auckland, stealing from stores and assaulting security guards, the New Zealand Herald reported on Sunday, in a protest against the commercialization of Christmas. Police said some of the Santas threw beer bottles, one tried to climb the mooring rope of a cruise ship and a security guard was punched during the fracas."
|
From: robojesus [Cyber Sacrilege]
Date: 19-Dec-2005 13:50
S'what they get for bringing stores to a Santa fight. ...if only this had happened three years ago so I could have seen it.
From: robojesus [Cyber Sacrilege]
Date: 19-Dec-2005 13:52
Oh, also: "and a security guard was punched during the fracas." should've punched him *in* the fracas.
From: zebrabob [zebrabobsgotabigone]
Date: 19-Dec-2005 13:54
where's an uzi when you need it? that would stop all of these uppity 'santas' and their un-christmasy ways!
From: brainspore [Brainspore]
Date: 19-Dec-2005 14:06
This reminds me of a plotline in the satirical superhero comic "The Tick" in which the hero does battle with the ruckus-causing minions of "Multiple Santa."
From: theallseeingear [Bavid Dyrden]
Date: 19-Dec-2005 14:11
I'd laugh if the cops arrested the official Santa who was just sitting in the shop going ho-ho-ho.
From: reader57 [Rotten Reader]
Date: 19-Dec-2005 14:33
Wow... We thought the boy-crazed Walmart Santa was bad.
From: azdollarbill [Jim Jones]
Date: 19-Dec-2005 14:37
Tsk Tsk Tsk, what a disgrace! At least they didn't molest little kiddies. 40 drunk Santas, what a hoot. 40 drunk Santas on a rampage, that's a double hoot!
From: bigplate
[dave]
Date: 19-Dec-2005 14:48
Reminds me of the movie "Honeymoon in Vegas". It's advertising stressed the point that it featured "30 flying Elvises" - Elvis impersinators who parachuted to their gigs, I guess. You just can't make this stuff up.
From: teratomarty
[Self-made man]
Date: 19-Dec-2005 14:54
Brilliant. Monkey-fucking BRILLIANT. When can we organise one of these in the States? Any excuse to dress funny and get drunk is fine by me- an excuse to dress funny, get drunk and steal an iPod is too good to pass up.
From: sweetbleednjesus
Date: 19-Dec-2005 14:57
Any excuse to use "fracas" in a sentence.
From: dadofautism [*****]
Date: 19-Dec-2005 15:37
Ummm, christmas-y? Apologies to ciaobella.
From: backuptheholler
[Junebug James]
Date: 19-Dec-2005 15:48
the Santas also attacked a Christmas tree. Well, if I had to keep naughty/nice lists year after year, supervise all those elves, live in cold-ass hell, and get out only one night a year--and that only to be an overnight delivery gopher--I think I'd attack a Christmas tree too.
From: nzgothpott [Smokingthe Reefer]
Date: 19-Dec-2005 15:54
First I heard of it. And heres me with my red S&M santa suit just itching for some Ho-Ho-Hoe's, I woulda been there in a flash.
From: fashionofchrist
[Schizophonic]
Date: 19-Dec-2005 17:05
Santarchy is an annual tradition where I live. Also, mobs of drunken clowns are common too. There's sort of an ongoing rivalry between them. It gets kind of messy. Oh yeah, also, on easter we have zombie jesus. seatown is great.
From: snyznyk [snyznyk]
Date: 19-Dec-2005 17:20
The real question is what were the elves up to while all theses Santas were creating this diversion? Hum Think abut it.
From: cannibal
[No Fat Chicks]
Date: 19-Dec-2005 17:36
"Police said identification was a key issue as they tried to sort out which of the 40 men and women had done what." That's gotta be one hell of a line up. 40 assholes all claiming to be Old Saint Nick. 
From: canadagirl78
[God, make me chaste. But not yet.]
Date: 19-Dec-2005 17:53
From: fashionofchrist [Schizophonic] Date: 19-Dec-2005 17:05 Santarchy is an annual tradition where I live. Also, mobs of drunken clowns are common too. There's sort of an ongoing rivalry between them. It gets kind of messy. Oh yeah, also, on easter we have zombie jesus. ______________________________________________________________________________ Wow, I thought my town was weird, what with the animal corpses washing into town every spring. But damn, I can't compete with a zombie jesus. I don't know if I should be jealous or frightened that jealousy is my first instinct. I'd love the santa-goes-apeshit parade, but you can keep the freak show clowns- those painted fuckers ain't right, drunk or sober. And you do realize that I'm going to have nightmares about an army of drunken clowns for the next three nights, right?
From: ciaochowbella [I didn't do it and I wasn't there when it happened]
Date: 19-Dec-2005 19:06
"Santarchy". CHRISTMAS-Y TO THE MAX!
From: ciaochowbella [I didn't do it and I wasn't there when it happened]
Date: 19-Dec-2005 19:08
Oh, and guys, feel free to use Christmas-y as often as you please. Not only will it annoy Chowda, it will do my Christmas-y heart good.
From: backuptheholler
[Junebug James]
Date: 19-Dec-2005 19:27
ciaochow: How are you this evening? Did you see the Christmas-y sepuku photo I sent under another topic before it got buried under a gazillion posts? I hoped it would give you a smile during your encounter with the troll.
From: sirbutlust
[mike duff]
Date: 19-Dec-2005 19:38
speaking of drunk i owuld like to thank all the rotten people who commented on my 500th comment celebration. it was long hard work. well not really. i appreciated the one comment about how i havent been around and its a funny story which involves alcohol, much like the subject of this article i wont talk about. so anyhow sirbutlust decided to try and stop his saturday night drinking binges and opted to try an AA meeting instead. sirbutlust learned many things. *the first is a lot of hot chics go to AA. *then i learned they all hang together in tight cliques and youll find mostly old men talking to you. *i found that if you do manage to hit it off with a chic, there sponsors will tell them to stay the hell away from you becuase your a "beginner" *If you go to a diffrent AA meeting and lie and say your 9 years sober and hit it off with a chic there sponsor will tell them i'm too "experienced" in sobriety to want to go out with a chic with less sobriety. *i learned one of hte most annoying things in the world is the smell of coffee and listening to the person next to you make sipping and gulping noises. *the difference between AA and NA (narcotics annonymus) is AA people for hte most part are trying to stop drinking and most NA people are there to score coke. *i lastly learned, when forced to talk, dont try to lighten the mood with dick jokes. so in conclusion i bombed out at AA and will resort to drinking on saterday nights till its warm out or i get a chic.
From: ciaochowbella [I didn't do it and I wasn't there when it happened]
Date: 19-Dec-2005 20:12
I'm just dandy, Backuptheholler, and I truly enjoyed the sepuku 'toon. You fuckin' rock! Thai, hated on you for it....don't cry though, he'll apologize if you refuse to back down. He's been sending extravagant apologies to my e-mail today. Not that I accepted them, mind you, I just enjoy the groveling. And you're super-duper Christmas-y as well.
From: rottenaugratin [Rotten au Gratin]
Date: 19-Dec-2005 20:43
Isn't this one of the signs of the apocolypse? From the book of Rudolph.
From: pongmass [smelly cunt]
Date: 19-Dec-2005 21:52
The christmas spirits are hard at work here.... And I don't think it was to protest the commercialization of Christmas. Read an article about the post rampage, and it has been established that it was purely an excuse to have some fun, according to the 'head santa'.
From: melvin69 [John Bong]
Date: 19-Dec-2005 22:21
40 drunken Santas, sounds like a cross of "The Drunken Sailor" and "99 beers on the wall" songs. The Drunken Sailor: [kididdles.com] What shall we do with the drunken santa... Put him in the chimney til he's sober... Turn on the hose and wet him all over... That's all I got
From: mingemeister [Dick DeGirth]
Date: 19-Dec-2005 23:51
If the same perps had fought anytime after Christmas, the result would be " Kiwi Bum Fights" If I ever get to manage a punk bad, Santa Riot shall be thy name. Unless it's an all girl band, then I shall name it "Stripper Girlfriend on Coke" but I digress. John Belushi (in Santa Suit): How how how, (coughs, sips some whiskey) Dan Ackroyd : What are you doing? Loraine Newman: I'm putting some tissue on Santa's lap. D.A : You mean you've never heard of Santa Wrap? L.N: Well, no. Belushi: How how how, (coughs, sips some whiskey, some runs down beard) D.A: Look at this photo of Santa's Lap magnified 100x L.N: Are those Santa's little Helpers? D.A: Yes,and they're communicable. He may be jolly St. Nick now, but on the 26th ol' Noel here goes back to the Y. L.N: From now on I'm using Santa Wrap! Belushi: How how how, (coughs, sips some whiskey, some runs down beard) "Santa Wrap" SNL, circa 1976?
From: backuptheholler
[Junebug James]
Date: 20-Dec-2005 04:25
ciaochow: Any day I can piss off a troll, I've done a good deed and my karma is at peace. When are the drunken Santas coming to a mall near me? I know of one I'd love to see ravished. It's more a strip mall on steroids, though, than a galleria, so maybe even more deserving.
From: thaimaixhu [Thai Mai Xhu]
Date: 20-Dec-2005 07:25
Some of those Santas are badass mofos! Especialy the drunk ones.
From: prettysneaky
[pretty sneaky]
Date: 20-Dec-2005 08:16
Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer Grandma got run over by a reindeer Walking home from our house Christmas eve. You can say there's no such thing as Santa,But as for me and Grandpa,we believe. She'd been drinkin' too much egg nog, And we'd begged her not to go. But she'd left her medication, So she stumbled out the door into the snow. When they found her Christmas mornin', At the scene of the attack. There were hoof prints on her forehead, And incriminatin' Claus marks on her back. Grandma got run over by a reindeer, Walkin' home from our house Christmas eve. You can say there's no such thing as Santa, But as for me and Grandpa, we believe. Now were all so proud of Grandpa, He's been takin' this so well. See him in there watchin' football, Drinkin' beer and playin' cards with cousin Belle. It's not Christmas without Grandma. All the family's dressed in black. And we just can't help but wonder: Should we open up her gifts or send them back? Grandma got run over by a reindeer, Walkin' home from our house Christmas eve. You can say there's no such thing as Santa, But as for me and Grandpa, we believe. Now the goose is on the table And the pudding made of fig. And a blue and silver candle, That would just have matched the hair in Grandma's wig. I've warned all my friends and neighbours. Better watch out for yourselves." They should never give a license, To a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves. Grandma got run over by a reindeer, Walkin' home from our house, Christmas eve. You can say there's no such thing as Santa, But as for me and Grandpa, we believe. [elyrics4u.com]
From: thaimaixhu [Thai Mai Xhu]
Date: 20-Dec-2005 08:48
I didn't "bash" you on the Rotten board today, I merely corrected your erroneous correction of my post. I have not called you one single name since the first post, yet you have continued to disparage my person, my family, my character, my intelligence, my cleanliness and my education. I have kept my comments strictly to the posts you made, while you made wild, hateful assumptions and continued to post them long after I had gone to bed. Not only did you post vicious names and vile slander about me in the original board, you went to other boards and posted your vitriol there as well. APOLOGIES? TO CHOWCHOW CUNT? NO. Where are your great wrtinigs oh mighty author? LIAR! WRITES CHOWCHOW AFTER A TRUE APOLOGY WAS MADE. I will not be accepting your apology or your offer of friendship. I find you to be mean-spirited, petty, vicious, immature and controlling.....not qualities I value in my friends. I do not feel your offer of an apology was sincere. I think you just don't want anyone to dislike you. And I will not accept your offer of friendship for I think you would make a piss-poor friend. I did, however, enjoy the futile attempt you made to correct my post when it was perfectly correct to begin with. The fact that your correction had a comma splice, an uncapitalized proper noun and a sentence fragment was just fun for me. So, this ends here. You are not worthy to be my friend because you lack honor or integrity, as evidenced by your alternating between begging my forgiveness, threatening me and calling names. Have a nice life. JF Smith FUCK YOU CUNT, I SHALL HAUNT YOU AS I WISH.
From: thaimaixhu [Thai Mai Xhu]
Date: 20-Dec-2005 08:52
BTW the 300 pound estemate was low. CHOWCHOW VERY LARGE LUMP. When does the great author have time to write her fabulous tales since it seems she spends every waking hour here? More twinkies ?
From: thaimaixhu [Thai Mai Xhu]
Date: 20-Dec-2005 09:15
WHAT I REALLY SENT CHOW CHOW: Your reply was excpected to be rude. Though I did apologise, and did mean it, I see that you are simply not a forgiving person. This is ok with me. I am quite familiar with southern women, spending most my timme in Georgia and Texas. You madam are not anything at all like the southern women I know. Your claim or being a professional writer is laughable. When would you find the time? It seems you spend your days and nights at your computer, logged in to Rotten.com making "snappy" come-backs to other posters. Tell me, what Paper do you write for? Or do you wish to claim to be the author of some best selling novel? No dearest. You live in a small house trailer, just south of Hope. You are on the government dole. You weigh just over 300 lbs. Your heat is provided by wood, dangerous in an old trailer. Fires happen you know. You have a single piece of plywood for a roof over your front porch, where two rather old dogs rest. The overstuffed recliner is a nice touch. Does anyone ever cut your grass? Your ancient automobile gets you to the dollar store where you buy sodas and sweetbreads. You shop at the cheapest places you can, with food stamps. Does it hurt me that my apology is not accepted? Hardly, I laugh at people like you. How Christmas-y PS I drove past your fabulouse trailer today, I'd say more but the only thing that comes to mind is sad. Have fun in your fantasy world, the real one was to tough for you.
From: louise [nunya]
Date: 20-Dec-2005 09:49
I read some of Miss CioChowbella's attacks on you. She does seem to have the mindset of the morbidly obese. Notice how she attempts to curry favor and gain support here. I cannot stand to be close to fatties. They have a smell about them as if they are unable to properly clean themselves after bowel movements.
From: louise [nunya]
Date: 20-Dec-2005 10:18
Goodness! I hope none of those Santa's come down my chiminy Christmas eve!
From: cool [a;sldkfj]
Date: 20-Dec-2005 11:59
what the article neglected to mention is that after last year's brush with the law, this year the santarchy organizers had decided to get back on the good side of the law by running it as a benefit for the police social club (serious). also: apparently it is something of a regular occurrence at christmas for santas to turn up at brothels to have anonymous sex fully dressed
From: bumfightpromoter [Don King]
Date: 21-Dec-2005 11:25
I was kicked in the fracas once; well, a few inches from it.
Updated: 25-Dec-2005 22:46
| 
