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Why don't we get drunk and screw
AZ Central | Submitted by: jhigh
"A 64-year-old man has pleaded no contest to charges in Clark County Circuit Court after telling police he regularly had been using calves for sexual gratification." ... "[The moo humper] told police he had gone to the farm at least 50 times in the last year, sometimes two to four times in a week."
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From: robwrigley
Date: 24-Dec-2005 23:59
No nasty comments here. I'll be cooking all morning, and drinking well into the night. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanuhka, Funky Kwanzaa, Rockin' Ramadan, Wonderful Yuletide, and Have a Nice December 25th (choose as appropriate) to all you folks. Lots of Christams-y Nookie to all those who can get it (and don't mess all those coats!) Best, Rob
From: mikeisgreen
[Mike]
Date: 25-Dec-2005 00:13
Happy Christnnukahmananzaa right back at ya Rob! ---------------------------------------------------- An ordinary evening in the home life of the accused... 
From: spacedcadet5555 [dick]
Date: 25-Dec-2005 00:28
thought that veal tasted a little salty.
From: cannibal
[No Fat Chicks]
Date: 25-Dec-2005 00:45
Nothing to do with screwing animals but I thought I might share it with you all the same. Happy Holidays you sickos. [disloyal.org] That's right holidays mother fuckers, plural, as multiple holidays happening within days of each other. Holidays, the way it was meant to be, before you crybabies out there started whining about it, like it was taking away your goddam rights by not making assumptions about your religious beliefs. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Or Happy Chanukah and Happy New Year. (Whatever the fuck goes with) Kwanza and a Happy New Year. And to any denomination I missed, Happy Whatever and a Happy New Year.
From: guntotingliberal [GunTotingLiberal]
Date: 25-Dec-2005 01:02
This reminds me of the bear fucking scene in Super Troopers. Yee-haw! Happy Holidays to all you rotten bastards out there - even if you did happen to vote for Bush. Celebrate and be merry. I did and now I'm going to bed. its four oclock in the damn morning.
From: why
[Because]
Date: 25-Dec-2005 01:09
All this concern about "Mad Cow Disease", Bah! When will the powers that be start focusing on doing something about "Mad Human Disease"? Please stop having sex with my future Hamburgers. Freaks.
From: mikeisgreen
[Mike]
Date: 25-Dec-2005 01:21
Thanks Cannibal, that was some of the only truly funny Leno I've ever seen. It has reaffirmed my faith in the warmth, kindness, intelligence, rationality, and selflessness of humanity. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Try writing that with a straight face! 
From: coprophiliac [coprophiliac]
Date: 25-Dec-2005 01:32
What are all you freaks doing posting on christmas? What a bunch of no-hopers. P.S. Merry Christmas: [scatbrazil.com]
From: pontiuspilatus
[Pontius Phallus Pilatius]
Date: 25-Dec-2005 01:49
From: coprophiliac [coprophiliac]
Date: 25-Dec-2005 01:32
What are all you freaks doing posting on christmas? What a bunch of no-hopers.
P.S. Merry Christmas:
[scatbrazil.com] Pleased to see that you have better things to do
From: jacobkreist [jacob k reist]
Date: 25-Dec-2005 02:06
Dear Others, I saw this in a GWAR show. Sin, JKR
From: wingedmonkeyminion [Satan Himself]
Date: 25-Dec-2005 02:25
Beef. It's what's for dinner. Merry Satanmas!
From: useless2society [Useless II Society]
Date: 25-Dec-2005 03:28
And Heeeeeere's the Result: "They don't even know if it is a baby!" (insert screams and industrial noises here)  
From: theodread
[{One More Time}]
Date: 25-Dec-2005 03:55
Udder foolishness that's all. Just udder foolishness. Cherry MishMash all. Remember, Some people are like slinkies. They basically have no purpose. But, they still bring a smile to my face when I push them down the stairs.
From: limpy [Tequiza]
Date: 25-Dec-2005 04:59
Mr. Hart would stop by the barn after drinking and going to strip clubs. 2 to 4 times a week. 64 years old and still a stud. Can't blame him though. Look at Elsie's big brown inviting eyes.   Happy Holidays to all the Rotten people wherever you are!
From: hai
[koo]
Date: 25-Dec-2005 05:30
Snow falling on roofs, Santa adding special sauce to the nog of egg: Mrs. Claus tied up, waiting for Jack Frost to nip at _her_ windowpanes; And Mom wondering if Daddy got her a "Kong Kock": Merry Christmas, y'all!
From: dreamphantom [Dream Phantom]
Date: 25-Dec-2005 06:15
everybody wants to take the "fuck" out of fucking fun
From: lilfunky [swampass]
Date: 25-Dec-2005 06:42
merry xmas to you all! ps. i love red meat but not enough to fuck it.
From: tsentsen [tsentsen]
Date: 25-Dec-2005 06:51
cannibal...I've always wanted a pony for x-mas ~ gee thanks (I think)  useless2...eraser head had to have been one of the most..um one of the most, ya know I can't even think of a word to discribe it. Watching it was like being on a bad acid trip - and I was sober at the time. Moo-humper visited the farm at least 50 times? WTF? If it was my farm I woulda lay in waiting with a big 'ol shutgun as soon as anything amiss was noticed!
From: azdollarbill [Jim Jones]
Date: 25-Dec-2005 07:08
Let me be the thirty third to say : Merry Christmas everybody! Now I know why this thread has so many comments, lol. I see that rotten has pulled out all the stops to give us all an uderly awesome first story today. IMO, this guys got a COW-ardly disposition. Oh I know, but it's early. Have a great day everyone!
From: reader57 [Rotten Reader]
Date: 25-Dec-2005 07:09
LOL at "they had seen suspicious footprints"! "Look Ma! Somebody's been followin' ole Bessy and purdy close too I'd say." Aaaw... contented cows.
From: schwad [Toaque Hardie]
Date: 25-Dec-2005 07:13
Cowabunga! Or is it Cow a bunghole!
From: lordpakul [Lord Pakul]
Date: 25-Dec-2005 08:54
Merry Christmas or the politically-correct Seasons Greetings and Happy Holidays to all. There is nothing like a bit of bestiality to start off the DailyRotten.com . Now comes Harold G. Hart, right, with his attorney:  [marshfieldnewsherald.com]
From: redrubberballs
[salty]
Date: 25-Dec-2005 09:02
Merry Christmas to all Rotteneers. The first x-rated film I ever saw had a farm theme. The actor was feeding a calf with a bottle of milk with a long nipple. Then he whipped out his tallywagger and the calf proceeded to suck on that. I think that is what this old dude was up to.
From: jester5150 [jester5150]
Date: 25-Dec-2005 09:27
Just remember...meat is murder.... and murder tastes pretty fuckin good!
From: parasite6163 [peter fine]
Date: 25-Dec-2005 10:06
wAS IT A COW OR JOE'S WIFE. I', sure they look alike. see, joe not paying attention to the issues at hand and not do what is important. like stopping people from doing his wife. doing a cow i might understand but if it was joe's wife, it could be really embarrasing.
From: marlysfan [Guy Incognito]
Date: 25-Dec-2005 12:12
To quote a wise young man, "Don't have a cow, man"
From: canadagirl78
[God, make me chaste. But not yet.]
Date: 25-Dec-2005 15:22
It's six pm, the turkey was fat and juicy, the cranberries plump and sweet, Santa is obviously falling down on the naughty and nice list, cuz I got some good shit and I've been bad! Yes, Santa, I've been a naughty, naughty girl. And I continue the festivities by reading about cow fucking. Not only cow fucking, but chronic cow fucking by a bovine boinking machine. Oh well, when you're as ugly as he is, I guess you take whatever holes you get offered. So I don't forget: MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS*, MY FELLOW ROTTENERS! *substitute whatever holiday label is appropriate to your sensitivities, if you must. Or you could stop being a whiny bitch and appreciate that you even got a greeting in the first place. (And in case you all haven't guessed, I've also had a number of Irish Coffees and spiked egg nogs and when we got tired of being pretentious, we started on the vodka paralyzers. )
From: prettysneaky
[pretty sneaky]
Date: 25-Dec-2005 18:24
"RAW~HIDE" Moo mooooooooooooooooo What went "hay~wire" IN HIS MIND between the strip~bars and the barn? What I'd like to know, do the cows find any pleasure from the Man? Did he use condoms? "RAW~HIDE" Moo mooooooooooooooooo
From: cynicalbitch
[Angelina's thong]
Date: 25-Dec-2005 18:38
Happy, Merry, Blessed be whatever, all you sick,crazy, funny, entertaining, enlightening, motherfuckers, you! You add to my day. I hope that however you spend this day, you spend it well, and with people that you love. CCbella, Rob, Mikeisgreen, Canadagirl, guntotingliberal(I fucking love that name!)Lordpakul(dude, you're a wizard), cannibal, teratomarty(girl, you and I could party together!), tsentsen, piscivore,(miss you, where ya been?) azdollar, tucan. You'll have to forgive my sentiment, I'm on my 5th Chimay. I listen(read) you. You teach me, make me laugh, piss me off. Thanks.
From: dadofautism [*****]
Date: 25-Dec-2005 20:21
Cynicalbitch- any woman who will drink 5 Chimay's .........................umm, I don't know, suppearlitives don't exist to describe the feelings............ But I'm more of a Rochefort #10 man, and don't even get me started about the gueuze.................. As for the rest of you, I'm kind of new but I love to come here and play, It is a high point in my day to see that there are others who think like I do. That is to say, an appericiation of the heinous, and to say what others may think but would never utter. Happy rama-hana-kwan-solst-mas, and a rotten new year too. Rememberthat the world sucks.....all you can do is suck back harder!
From: dragon [DrunkenTigerStonedDragon]
Date: 25-Dec-2005 20:32
Is that considered child molestation? Those calves are gonna need counceling.
From: boxedloser [the dork]
Date: 25-Dec-2005 20:38
eeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww cow butt
From: dadofautism [*****]
Date: 25-Dec-2005 21:30
c-bitch - tease intact. I assumed the small ones, 5x 750ml = major drinking problem! The Belgian Trappist monastaries are the embodiment of how I like my religion......in the cellar behind a locked door, with a cork in their mouth! Sante!
From: niboreel [niboreel]
Date: 25-Dec-2005 23:53
To: Coprophililac: AKA Scat in Brazil....Dude you are one sick fuck. I have an upset stomach now! Go away, FAR AWAY PULLLEASE! To: theodread [{One More Time}] Udder foolishness that's all. Just udder foolishness. Cherry MishMash all. Remember, Some people are like slinkies. They basically have no purpose. But, they still bring a smile to my face when I push them down the stairs. I love what Theodread wrote: !!Scat Brazil!! Take note. That is just one sickness that gives the human race a worse name than we already have.....SICK, SICK, SICK. Now go eat some shit you little shit licker! LOL. Merry Christmas to all though! P.S. And to all the Anti-Merry Christmas people, SHUT YOUR PIE HOLES!! Christmas was named after, uh oh, get this, CHRIST. So is he just a holiday now? WTF is this world coming to? Who do these people think they are? It's Christmas, it always has been. I am not a 'bible thumper' but come on, get your own tree and call it what ever the hell you want to call it. Period. End of discussion.
From: butter [Frank]
Date: 26-Dec-2005 06:57
What is this guy, a COWard around women? Was he COWering behind the cow? Did he have a COWlick in his hair? I bet he won't COWtowell to public opinion. Did he really HOOF it out of there when he was discovered? This story is UDDERly absurd. I know, awful. They say milk does a body good. So I guess the same could be said for cows too, as this guy was just giving the cows a cream injection.
From: mephistopheles
[Mephistopheles]
Date: 26-Dec-2005 19:24
This tale reminds me of a quote from that twisted fuck Henry Lee Lucas (think Dahmer, just without the rich parents): "Sex is one of my downfalls. I get sex any way I can get it. If I have to force somebody to do it, I do... I rape them; I've done that. I've killed animals just to have sex with them, and I've had sex while they're alive."
From: teratomarty
[Self-made man]
Date: 26-Dec-2005 19:49
Men hump female animals all the stinking time. Even those of us who have only ever humped our wives are still having sexual gratification with an an animal. Um, yes, Brightwood, but most of our spouses make better conversation than just "mooOO!" If you can't tell the difference between your lady and a cow, I can see why you're so into defending this chap.
From: will [william]
Date: 27-Dec-2005 10:58
hmm, well... whatever gets you in the moooood
From: mikeisgreen
[Mike]
Date: 3-Jan-2006 00:49
I wonder if we can still add comments to threads that no longer appear on Dialyrotten's index page. I s'pose I'm about to find out...
Updated: 3-Jan-2006 00:49
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