From: gargoyle1
Date: 6-Nov-2009 13:15

You would think with the billions spent on this thing that they'd have protected it from birds dropping a bit of bread. Stupid assholes.

From: bedfart [lurker in]
Date: 6-Nov-2009 13:21

I'm I the only one that's disturbed by "highly educated/trained" people
that build these things, but can't see the "big picture"
Makes you wonder what other vermin/insects can just wander into the workings.
..Sorta like the labs or server farms built in flood prone basements.

From: huwatng [Hue]
Date: 6-Nov-2009 13:52

The Association of Avian-Americans would like you to know that this is not part of a plot to kill Americans.

From: inthebeginning [(It Was Real Good)]
Date: 6-Nov-2009 14:08

Mebbe it's just God doing his "no sparrow can fall" act. I understand that one of the primary objectives of the Large Hadron Collider Project is to search for the "God Particle" and that there has already been a mysterious failure due to a minutely possible time-warping of negatively-timed particles from an alternative future LHC function branching back into this time to shut down the LHC and stymie the search.

From: skorch [Skorch]
Date: 6-Nov-2009 14:23

Look, it's clear the univerese simply does not want this thing to work...horrible things will happen if it's turned on!

From: myballsitch [John Fitzgerald Scabies]
Date: 6-Nov-2009 14:33

Fucking frogs and their damn baguettes...
Hows abouts we put some screen around our vital outdoor equipment.
What a well protected asset.

From: retardedmonkey [ISeeYouWhenYouSleep]
Date: 6-Nov-2009 15:07

And yet I've seen scores of crows flying with a complete and intact Dunkin' Donuts plain donut firmly clamped in beak. Damn crows look like they have a life preserver (PFD for those of us that had the horror of summer camp) on.

From another story from the same site on the same subject:

"Fortunately, the particle-molester boffins at CERN..."

Is this subatomic particle diddling? Does Mike or Gargoyle need to pull out the .45ACP picture and sermonize about how molesting is bad?

I find myself wanting to see an infographic explaining how a seagull carrying some dumpster scraps leads to the LHC coming off line.

From: danthrax [Rad cow disease]
Date: 6-Nov-2009 15:10

What happens if someone voids their bladder into the circuitry of the Large Hadron Collider?

And how long will it be before we find out?

From: retardedmonkey [ISeeYouWhenYouSleep]
Date: 6-Nov-2009 15:25

And I should like to add that the nograce dance is truly frightening, a very black mesa image.

From: androloma [the Manchurian Centurion]
Date: 6-Nov-2009 15:37

From: marcvaldez [Marc Valdez]
Date: 6-Nov-2009 17:44

Remember Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds"? Now, with baguettes, birds are perilously close to having the power to destroy the entire universe! They'll do it too! I once watched a kookaburra treat a piece of toast like a lizard and bang the toast against a rock. That baguette, in the beak of a bird, could have created a wormhole! Beware the merciless birds!

From: hippityhopp [bunny meat is good!]
Date: 6-Nov-2009 23:52

Fuck me running. The most complicated, and arguably the most expensive piece of technology on the planet was taken down by a fucking crouton?

Really?

This doesn't inspire much faith in their abilities if they ever get this up and running only to find out they have no way to control it.

And seeing how a single bird dropping a bit of crusty bread nearly wiped out an entire segment of the LHC, those fears are starting to become more real to me.

From: catcrys [Crystal]
Date: 7-Nov-2009 00:27

"The most complicated, and arguably the most expensive piece of technology on the planet was taken down by a fucking crouton?"

I am able to break a chemistry analyzer with a mere glance. Lemme at the LHC!

From: other [unclassified]
Date: 7-Nov-2009 04:01

I love when technology and nature meet.

From: thegrimmeeper [Caligula]
Date: 7-Nov-2009 04:13

This is definitely NOT rotten. Nature happens even to high tech very expensive scientific equipment. It isn't magical, you know. It's not like the star ship enterprise with invisible energy shields. Jesus fuck nuts people!!

From: other [unclassified]
Date: 7-Nov-2009 05:48

Croutons were a little premature in the recipe. I am a little concerned what happens when Anitpasto and Pasta collide though. How do we calculate the energy release. Is it proportional to C squared ?

From: tower [of babel]
Date: 7-Nov-2009 13:30

ah, the basis of wop drive

From: pundit [likeIsaid pundit]
Date: 7-Nov-2009 14:38

so, when the pocket protector geeks finally put a rig together that causes a cascade rift in the fabric of time-dimension and destroys all existence like a bad B-grade sci-fi B&W flic from the 50s, how much advance warning do we get?

this is just the beginning.

From: retardedmonkey [ISeeYouWhenYouSleep]
Date: 7-Nov-2009 16:27

If they build it right we'll never notice. I'd be more afraid of the device failing badly and fucking it all up versus a distinct termination of our reality.

From: zebrabob [zebrabobsgotabigone]
Date: 7-Nov-2009 22:33

projected completion of repairs and turning the thing on again is around the third week of December in 2012!

From: rhag6942 [Kewl Han Dluke]
Date: 8-Nov-2009 17:42

Can't we just put a piece of plywood over it or something?

From: nardus [Gutzmer]
Date: 9-Nov-2009 06:04

Sure. Blame the birds! Fucking dumbass scientists.

From: snidelywhiplash [Snidely Whiplash]
Date: 9-Nov-2009 17:05

The bird must have been from the future.
There will be no large hadron colliding.
The future hath spoken.