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From: jomama [did me for free]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 00:42
I's da first, everyone else gots to follow.
From: nzgothpott [Smokingthe Reefer]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 01:03
What the fuck is up with this pissy arsed denial of service shite Micro$haft is pulling on all the widows servers? Who would actually pay for all the advertising microsoft voilently jams into its sod-ware and through our internet connection bandwidth? More importantly, whats some good ways of sticking it to 'em without being a quoteunquote linyx-fag? Keep information free, comrades.
From: jenasaurusx
[Awesome!]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 02:01
From: kurekuretakora [oldgit] Date: 1-Jul-2006 01:10 theodred.one for you www.youtube.com/watch?v=ep0h7R8JnjM **************** That kicked serious ass.
From: jenasaurusx
[Awesome!]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 02:16
That movie looks hilarious. I don't get HBO, so I've never seen that Ali G show, but I've been watching "Dog Bites Man" on Comedy Central and I believe it's from the same people. I thinkn it's the same premise: comedy people using regular people who aren't in on the joke. Pretty damn funny show far.
From: mikeisgreen
[Mike]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 02:29
Why is it that a female friend of mine was shocked to learn that I knew what endometriosis was? Why are men not supposed to know these things?
From: daredevil [CameronVale]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 02:38
Ali G. is a turd in human form....an unfunny piece of shit as can be perceived. MTV is also garbage and hasn't played music in decades. It is run by Sumner Redstone, formerly Murry Rothstein. Any questions? If you wish to see a great original "rotten" type flick, I suggest you view 'Man Bites Dog'. It is a scathing French film satirizing media obsession about a video crew doing a documentary of a maniacal serial killer. Being French aside, it is brilliant. (and no Jerry Lewis!)
From: tiredoflurking
[Sean]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 04:14
kurekuretakora, I was reading through yesterday's "Working With Poo" thread, and saw all the dog pics that you had paired up with rotten forum identities. I'm not sure that I know the personalities of people on here well enough (altho' I've been lurking around reading what you all write since the forum addition to Rotten.com started), but I did come across two dog pics that you might want to assign to someone. Do these dogs match up with anyone you know on here??   The second one has a tongue that would make Gene Simmons proud!!! (And probably some bitch or dog very happy!!)
From: pinkpoodle [Dirty]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 04:39
From: mikeisgreen [Mike] Why is it that a female friend of mine was shocked to learn that I knew what endometriosis was? Why are men not supposed to know these things? +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ It's not that men are not *suppose* to know these things it is just that 99.99% of men just don't know these things. She was probably just shocked that you took the time to learn something that didn't revolve around you. Most men don't do this. I don't think most men even take the time to learn about their OWN bodies. Feel complimented. You are unique. I can't tell you how many times I've heard a man say things like "Her *vagina* was shaved." ROTLF. or "I f-ed her *clit*." Some men think a woman must remove a tampon to pee. Or they ask a woman to remove her IUD because they think it might poke them. A lot of men think that during intercourse that the man's penis enters the uterus. They think that if they have sex with a pregnant woman they may "put a dent in it's head". Ignorance abounds. I've sometimes had to explain to men things about their own bodies that they did not understand, like the fact that a vasectomy does not involve cutting the penis. And you would not believe how many men do not realize that they have been circumcised. Really. They think they were born the way they look. I have to show them where they have been cut and explain to them how they would appear and how the penis would function if they had not been mutilated as an infant. Even back when I was in high school I remember argueing with a group of boys who thought that women give birth out their butts. It's true. They were not pulling my leg on that one. We had NO sex education in school and biology classes avoided the topic of reproduction altogether. Schools just don't teach enough. And many people are uncomfortable seeking out information about male/female sexuality. Kudos to you for keeping yourself informed about womens health issues.
From: satinsmum [hesjusta naughtyboy]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 04:49
Thanks for the dogs, they were great.
From: tiredoflurking
[Sean]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 04:55
I re-entered this without the three exclamation points in a row. Hopefully the filter won't tag it now. kurekuretakora, I was reading through yesterday's "Working With Poo" thread, and saw all the dog pics that you had paired up with rotten forum identities. I'm not sure that I know the personalities of people on here well enough (altho' I've been lurking around reading what you all write since the forum addition to Rotten.com started), but I did come across two dog pics that you might want to assign to someone. Do these dogs match up with anyone you know on here? The second one has a tongue that would make Gene Simmons proud! (And probably some bitch or dog very happy!)
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 04:56
Thanks satinsmum,can't wait for the bitching (no pun intended) to start. "That dog don't look like me/is too small/dumb looking/intelligent looking" etc.etc.etc.
From: tiredoflurking
[Sean]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 05:01
I was reading through, the "Lightbulb Finally Remove From Anus" in Friday's Rotten.com discussion and thought I'd add my two cents to the whole use of "fag" thing. I have no problem with other gay or bi or lesbian people using it, and I don't have any problem with my straight friends using it, since I know they have no problems with my sexuality. Not wild about people using it to put gay people down, but I hear it and say it so many times in a day, that it really has lost its sting when used as an insult. I guess that IS what "reclaiming language" is supposed to do. This IS rotten.com, though, and if you can't stand a bit of homophobic namecalling, you aren't going to enjoy yourself here. Hell, I was more pissed off by this in Wednesday's discussion about the girl who was killed by a shot to the chest when a guy committing suicided shot himself, but his head didn't stop the bullet: From: faqme [faqme] Date: 28-Jun-2006 20:22 she was canadian so who the fuck cares Once again though, it is Rotten.com, so you have to just let it roll off your back, but it is funny how American conservatives seem to think "South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut" is a fucking documentary. I read freerepublic.com forums just to see what the U.S. Christian Right (which ironically is NEITHER!) is thinking. Actually, that's wrong. There are some strongly secular libertarians at freerepublic.com It is interesting to watch the bloody cockfights when any article about evolution/creationism/intelligent design shows up. The Canadians used to be their favourite whipping boys, but they seem to like us now that the braindead 30 some percent of us voted in a minority Conservative government. Back to the gay thing tho', more than someone using "fag" as an insult, I hate when people, even ones who like gay people and aren't homophobic, use gay as a synonym for "pathetic"/"boring"/"stupid". It took me years of gentle persuasion to condition one of my friends not to do this. She thanked me a year or two ago, after the politically correct police nabbed a guy at her company for creating a "poisoned work environment" for using the word that way when a humourless dyke in his department complained. The lesbian never even told him it was bugging her so he'd have a chance to stop! (I've since met this guy who got reprimanded, when he came down to watch the gay pride parade in Toronto with my friend, his co-worker. There isn't a homophobic bone in his body, altho' he is a bit of a cock tease!)
From: eauclaireliberal [eauclaireliberal]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 05:01
Glad to see a new set of articles-I have something to look forward to; I just started the NOC shift at one of the LTC facilities in the area. I am ready to hit the sack like a rock.
From: dirtyslut76
[slut]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 05:10
From: dirtyslut76 [slut] Date: 1-Jul-2006 05:04 This is from the earlier free-for-all buzzed still from last night trying to keep up --------------- From: sirbutlust [mike duff]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 00:46
oh and i forgot to mention a very rotten special apperance.
JULY 16 2006 sunday night
you are cordinally invited to attend sirbutlusts july 17, 30ith birthday bash with speical meet and greet with sirbutlsut himself. if yuo live in the new york city metro area be sure to attend whereever sirbutlust s friends take him. there is a possiblility he will be in suffern new york at a bar called irelands adn most likely end up in benders (a hole in the wall dive bar on laffeyette ave in hawthoren) which is open till three am.*** sirbutlust will have autographed cards commerating the evnet on hand. come and be one of the ones that actually apprecialte gettin a free card. (there will be a moment of silence for fellow july 17 birthday holder david hasslehoff who was injured by a glass chandelier i n a german mens room)
*** disclaimer. benders is opebn to three because i t is over the border adn is in passaic county were liquor laws allow it to be open that late. however if you find yourself in an arrestable offense and are sent t o jail you are going otthe passiac jail full of paterson new jersey drug dealers adn murders (in ohter words good luck) benders has a great bartendign staff that used to be hot chics(sirbutlust hasent been in the bar in two years, may have changed.) however if you get sick in the bar and vomit on something, no one will notice (trust me i know). dont eat there food --------------- From: dirtyslut76 [slut] Date: 1-Jul-2006 04:54 sirbutlust sorry you had a shower-bourne masturbation injury have fun on your 30th don't do what I did on my 30th altho this may be more of a female perspective don't go home with anyone sig younger than yourself picked a lovely boy of 23 went back to his place fun ensued, then sleep woke up the next morning, gazed upon his beauty while he was sleeping gave myself a silent high-five for my delicious score went to the bathroom, was horrified smeared make-up JBF hair with every white hair I have ever tried to pluck out standing up bloodshot eyes halitosis I washed my face looked for mouthwash none Normally can pull off the no make up look, so I think but all it did was bring out my massively bloodshot eyes. decided to depart the premises at this point. Not sure if I should say, sorry Jeff, for departing before you woke up. Or You're welcome, that I had departed before you woke up
From: dirtyslut76
[slut]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 05:13
From: pinkpoodle [Dirty]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 04:39
From: mikeisgreen [Mike] Why is it that a female friend of mine was shocked to learn that I knew what endometriosis was? Why are men not supposed to know these things?
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
It's not that men are not *suppose* to know these things it is just that 99.99% of men just don't know these things. She was probably just shocked that you took the time to learn something that didn't revolve around you. Most men don't do this. I don't think most men even take the time to learn about their OWN bodies. Feel complimented. You are unique.
I can't tell you how many times I've heard a man say things like "Her *vagina* was shaved." ROTLF. or "I f-ed her *clit*." Some men think a woman must remove a tampon to pee. Or they ask a woman to remove her IUD because they think it might poke them. A lot of men think that during intercourse that the man's penis enters the uterus. They think that if they have sex with a pregnant woman they may "put a dent in it's head". Ignorance abounds.
I've sometimes had to explain to men things about their own bodies that they did not understand, like the fact that a vasectomy does not involve cutting the penis.
And you would not believe how many men do not realize that they have been circumcised. Really. They think they were born the way they look. I have to show them where they have been cut and explain to them how they would appear and how the penis would function if they had not been mutilated as an infant.
Even back when I was in high school I remember argueing with a group of boys who thought that women give birth out their butts. It's true. They were not pulling my leg on that one. We had NO sex education in school and biology classes avoided the topic of reproduction altogether.
Schools just don't teach enough. And many people are uncomfortable seeking out information about male/female sexuality.
Kudos to you for keeping yourself informed about womens health issues. --- did you go to some kind of "special" school?
From: cuntslutwhore [fubar55]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 05:14
eauclaire liberal? T? is that you?????
From: gunlover [Doug]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 05:15
Mornin'. Just back from Paha Sapa and it was totally Rotten! Personally witnessed 39 fucktards that missed Darwin awards by seconds, was hopeing to give you all first hand reports. If you can get your ass out to Mt. Rushmore on the third for the fireworks, go. Watched workers haul up LOTS of goodies (Don't worry Mr. Anti Terrorist FBI Guy) I won't spill the beans. Asked a young fellow how much they were brinning up, he was quite helpful, told me everything and an old hand came up and told him nobody knows. Ha Ha! But the best was when we came around a curve and a bunch of wild donky had traffic stopped and this is no shit, a 400 lb + hag was standing up peeing "hiding" behind a tree three inches across had her strechy gym shorts pulled to the side and as we drove by with our wtf look on our faces her 600 lb mom looked at us with a "What are you looking at?" look. Lots of bison and many beaver with fine pelts and awesome ta-ta's that defied gravity. Whew!
From: tiredoflurking
[Sean]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 05:19
I have been wondering when Rotten duder is going to get tired of posting the articles about raids on parks/public washrooms in Southern (mostly Floridian) locales. The articles really aren't Rotten, but just more pathetic than anything. The police arrest and charge some guy who usually is cruising a park late at night, when no kids or innocent bystanders would be around. I have no problem if the cops want to sting and arrest the guys who crusise for public sex in parks and toilets during the day. THEY inconvenience adults, and can traumatize kids who walk in on them. Also, you never know if a guy jerking off in a stall is a pedophile just waiting to pounce on an unattended kid. The guys who get stung in these nighttime police operations aren't looking for kids though, just a guy to have fun with. In some locales just talking about looking for sex can get you arrested on a solicitation charge, and you don't even have to "whip it out" to get nailed, but the cops love it if you do in order to make their case better. There is a pretty healthy skepticism about cops and their motivations shown by the contributors to the discussion forums here. We all know that SOME (by no means all) cops will lie in order to boost their arrest and conviction rate. We don't know if these guys WILL even be convicted. These poor pathetic men who get nabbed don't deserve to have their pics and stories pasted worldwide. Rotten.com has WAY further reach than some little Floridian rag's website. I wonder how many of the guys in these articles have been spotted by friends and relatives from out of town who stumbled across the stories while reading Rotten.com Come on, Rotten duder, have a little sympathy! It is bad enough that they will probably have to register as sex offenders and be in the same company as child molestors and rapists. A lot of the closeted ones will lose their wives and families too. (Although, they are the ones mostly to blame for that!! I'm not a fan of the guys who cheat on their wives, especially the ones who don't view themselves as gay, don't inform themselves about diseases like HIV, and bring a nasty surprise home to a wife (and sometimes a fetus or breastfeeding baby.)) Too many of these guys already kill themselves. Let's not help push them over the edge. And NO, I'm not a connoisseur of park sex, but I've been lucky, since I came out as a teenager in a city with a university and lots of resources, and a very supportive family. (Well, my dad didn't talk to me for a month, but he got over it.) Ever since that bitch Anita Bryant started targetting gays in the mid to late 70s, Florida gays have had to put up with a bunch of bullshit laws, and with police persecution. It is easy to say "just go to a gay bar", but if the guy never really had the chance to come out, he'll probably be petrified to be spotted going in. Again, these stories are more pathetic than Rotten. Haven't we seen enough of them? (Even if they ARE in Florida?)
From: tiredoflurking
[Sean]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 05:20
Feel free to post, however, when it is some hypocritical anti-gay cleric or politico who gets nabbed when secretly cruising tho'. That is ROTTEN, and WAY funny.
From: theodread
[{One More Time}]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 05:25
  Happy Fucking Canada Day 139 years as a nation. Young, yes..But that's only because we wanted to perfect our beer recipes before declaring independence. SO. what with all the hangovers, and 'sampling' parties, we had a little trouble getting every one together to ratify the deal. Party on. I am inviting our American cousins to take notes today. Pay attention and you stand a chance of having at least half the party we'll be throwing.
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 05:32
Just like to point out that Candada still belongs to the Queen of England as she is still on their "money". Therefore she can have you all arrested at any time you dope smoking,moose molesting,maple syrup sucking,beaver fondling,oafish, dwarf,lumerjackoffs.
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 05:50
Not the same at all,Jluy 4th celebrates getting shot of the Brits. "Canada" day celebrates still being part of the British Empire AND shring the land with a bunch of French speaking lumberjacky bulldkyey fags.
From: tiredoflurking
[Sean]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 05:53
Yep, Canada Day is pretty much like the Fourth of July, just quieter and with fewer flags -- More CANADIAN I guess. The exception is in Quebec where the evening of June 23, the night before the Catholic feast of Quebec's Patron Saint St-Jean-Baptiste (St. John the Baptist -- feast day of June 24) is celebrated with bonfires and lots of drinking. There are huge parades on the day of the 24th, especially in Montreal. Since Quebec has become VERY secular, "la Saint-Jean" (they use the feminine "la" since it is short for "la fete de Saint-Jean"), this holiday has been renamed "la fete nationale" (to get the spelling right, put a circumflex accent, the one like a pointy hat, over the first e of fete). (The Quebec provincial parliament is also called "l'assemble'e nationale" -- even the non-separatists like to think of themselves as something special and apart from the rest of us.) Since the Canada Day holiday follows the "fete nationale" by just one week, a lot of hard and soft nationalists don't really celebrate Canada Day, and outside of English-speaking enclaves celebrations are pretty muted everywhere in Quebec. Instead, people take advantage of the day off to move between apartments, and Canada Day is better known as "Moving Day". My sister, who lives in Montreal, tells me that most leases specifically are timed to start/end on July 1 for this reason. She also tells me that they are sheep in other ways too. The construction workers, especially road workers, take their holiday together the last 2 weeks of July, and all sorts of other Quebeckers also time their holidays to coincide. They flee to cabins in the Laurentian mountains, picturesque villages in the Eastern Townships and northern New England States, and cottage country in Ontario. You should have no problem getting decent hotel rooms and rates in the last 2 weeks of July in Montreal for this reason, but the streets will lack the energetic street life that most people visit to experience. I'm not a fan of mindless patriotism, but this really disgusts me. You'd never have a U.S. state, even a Confederate one that had seceded and been re-conquered, or one like Hawai'i that was annexed with a lot of trickery, ignoring the Fourth of July.
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 06:00
You all is Queen Elizabeths bitches,theo.If she wants a piece of your ass she just needs to say the word.You think those mounties are on your side,HA. Specially trained squads of alcoholic inuits are at this very moment preparing to reconquer Ottwa in the name of St.George and olde Englande. And your name is on list A. (those to be sent to Wales).
From: theodread
[{One More Time}]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 06:04
Sean, Is that fucked up or what Eh? I say let the fuckers separate. I am so fucking tired of all the whining we hear out of Quebec. I say give them exactly what they had when they entered Canada. Lock all the federal buildings and put a big ass fence around them. Quebec will never separate though. There is NO way the states will allow a bunch of Frenchmen to have control of the St. Lawrence Seaway.
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 06:08
See even tiredoflurking says it's quiet but with more fags and something about national feet and pretty mutants or something (didn't actually read the post,too Canadian). Seriously,have a good time,ride the old moose down to the fur trading stations and swap a few beaver pelts for some fire water. Fait les bon temps roulez.
From: theodread
[{One More Time}]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 06:09
Hey that don't sound too bad. I can take up whaling. Then I can wail about whales in wales. I'm happy with that..I don't need much. As long as You are happy Git.
From: tiredoflurking
[Sean]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 06:20
Don't diss having a non-elected head of state. It has some advantages. The Queen (and her representative in Canada, the Governor General), theoretically have all kinds of power, but, in effect, they are almost never utilized. If the Queen ever went against the will of the elected representatives, we'd dump her and become a Republic in a hurry. Because we have separated the Head of State (the Queen, normally represented by the G.G. except for a Royal Visit every few years) for the Head of Government (the Governor General), we can express disatisfaction with the Head of Government without insulting the embodiment of the country itself. Because the American President is the figurehead for the nation itself, he (She someday? I just hope the first one isn't Hillary.) must be given respect, even when his policies, his temperament, his judgement, his compassion, and his intelligence are sub-par, like those of George W. Bush. Americans can criticize their own President to a degree, but foreign attacks on him are often categorized as anti-American. When conflict looms, even Americans are expected to toe the line and soften or stop criticism of "the most powerful man on Earth". Natalie Maines of the Dixie Chicks sure found that out, when she criticized him in a small club in London with a throw away remark just before the Iraq war began. (Damn, I love "Not Ready to Make Nice". Not big on Country Music, but the Chicks really aren't Country anymore, except for a hint of a "twang". I'm also really glad their sales are doing so well now, even if Toby Keith fans aren't buying their albums.) Free from political interference, the G-G can champion certain important causes. The present G-G, Michaelle Jean, came to Canada as a Haitian refugee. She was a very successful journalist before her appointment, as has served as an example of the heights to which immigrants, especially Haitians, can climb. She was mobbed when she visited Haiti. Heaven knows the citizens of that Godforsaken country can do with some hope. She has also championed the rights of battered women (her Mom was abused), and is a spokesperson for the fight against Alzheimer's disease (also affecting her Mom.) The Governor General doesn't have to worry about re-election, so can champion important but unpopular causes. The one area in which a modern Governor-General might truly exercise some power is when a minority government falls on a vote of confidence in parliament. The Governor-General almost always then issues an election writ, and the parties are off campaigning, but he/she also has the option to ask another party to try to gain the confidence of the majority of seats in the House of Commons and form a new government WITHOUT having an election. This was done once that I know of, in 1926, and the result was unstable and lasted only a week. The party that ruled parliament for a week was also punished by the voters, and lost badly in the ensuing election. We are kind of stuck with the Queen and her representatives because, altho' we favour democracy, we are wary of politicizing the Governor-General by electing him or her. An elected Governor-General might feel his or her oats, and feel that he/she had a mandate to utilize his/her massive theoretical powers. Even the Aussies, who are WAY more Republican than we are, haven't figured out how to replace the Governor General there. The Germans and Israelis seem to have figured out how to select mostly powerless figurehead Presidents though. Maybe we WILL have a President some day, but definitely not while THIS Queen is still alive. People respect her too much. I know THIS Queen (insert limp-wristed wave here), respects the Old Bird's devotion to duty, even IF she was a horrible neglective mother to her offspring.
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 06:20
Happy,happy,happy all the time. O.K.guys I'm sorry,Canada is really a neat place. Go to www.bjsnowdenmusic.com/ Find the music downloads and click on "In Canada" I shall play it all day to celebrate with you.
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 06:23
tiredoflurking,good points,longwindidly made.As for " Brenda" the old bag has her uses but ask yourself if THOSE were your kids wouldn't you neglect them ?
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 06:25
Fuck,if Charlie was my kid I wouldn't want to sit on the same throne as him. I would walk at least,at least,10 steps ahead of him at all times and not look back ever.
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 06:32
So,what do you guys have as a national anthem these days,is it "God save the Queen" or something about beavers or a Celine Dion number ? I know the national dish of Canada is moose patty but I am a bit ignorant about the rest of the stuff.I mean what's with the maple syrup,do you just hunker up to a bush and bite it ? And that beer Mooseson why does it taste like ass ? Do tell.
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 06:38
OO Guys I know I got some CANADIAN POETRY for ya. The ancient poets ne'er did dream That Canada was land of cream they ne'er imagined it could flow in this cold land of ice and snow Where everything did solid freeze They ne'er hoped of looked for cheese. James McIntyre (1827-1906,Canadas foremost poet of dairy produce)
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 06:44
Fuck,frightened them all away again.Ah well gives me time for a unique "tribute" to Canada.Got pinking shears.Gonna sculpt my pubes into a maple leaf for Canada day. Hm.Looks pretty good,even got a teeny,weeny stalk and a couple of acorns (maples have them,right) This could catch on,shame I don't have a webcam.
From: tiredoflurking
[Sean]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 06:46
Other than a few fossilized Royalists and British expatriates living in Canada, no-one really thinks of Canada as being part of the "British Empire" anymore. (And it's been the Commonwealth for decades now, people!) We don't play cricket and our judges don't wear wigs. We like to THINK that we spell like Brits, but we really don't, other than certain classes of words that end in -our and -re, like colour and centre, we double l's where Americans don't (we spell your traveler as traveller), and we seem to like extra letters in judgement and acknowledged, and, for some people, in sulphur, amoeba and foetus, but this list is short. British spellings like tyre for tire, gaol for jail and kerb for curb look as weird to us as they do to you. We also use N. American terms for cars (trunk, hood, windshield and not boot, bonnet and windscreen. We say railroad instead of railway usually), we drive on the same side of the road as Americans, and our accident differs no more from some generalized idealized averaged American accent than that of North Dakota, and much less so than that of Southern States or Boston or New York. If someone asks us if we are thinking of going to a movie, we say "I might", and never "I might do" as Brits do sometimes (they say "I might" as well.) True, most Canadians say taps instead of faucets, but they call suspenders suspenders, and not braces. We have also modelled our Charter of Rights, which we created when we repatriated our Constitution in 1982 (brought it home from Britain, which really hadn't made any decisions on our behalf since 1931), on your Bill of Rights, except with more of an emphasis on group rights, and slightly less on individual rights. The Brits STILL don't have a unitary constitutional document, but rather a hodge podge of charters, bills, and customs dating back to the Magna Carta. Our suburbs look just like your suburbs, and we love cars as much as you do. The only time Canada really thinks much about the Commonwealth is every four years at the Commonwealth Games when we become a powerhouse (altho' the Aussies, with MANY million fewer people tend to kick our asses). Damn rugged convict genes!! There was a time when we DID care about the Commonwealth, especially its African members, during the 80s and the fight against Apartheid when Canada headed Commonwealth opposition to the white-supremacist regime in South Africa. My family lived in Botswana from 1978 to 1982, and they made it hard on Canadians to cross the border into South Africa, which you needed to do in order to fly home to Canada, since the airport in Gaborone, Botswana didn't have long haul flights. Luckily my Dad was born in Belfast, Northern Ireland, so we all got British passports that we used only to enter South Africa. Even though I have a British passport and dual citizenship, though, my loyalty is always to Canada. I am proud of my Irish heritage, but don't feel British. That might change if I lived there for years, but I doubt it. Anyway, back then Canada stood up to South Africa, while Margaret Thatcher's and Reagan's governments refused to impose sanctions, for fear that the falling of the white regime could usher in a communist government. They may have been right even. Who knows? Nelson Mandela has AMAZING powers of forgiveness, and Bishop Desmond Tutu is great too, but they might not have been able to control the rabid communists in their midsts if the white government had fallen while the Soviet Union was still a force in international affairs. Who knows? If they don't choose their next few leaders wisely, they may yet follow the Zimbabwean model to abject failure. Well, back then we may have felt ourselves as citizens of a greater British Commonwealth, but now it is just some abstract concept barely touched upon in history courses and quickly forgotten afterwards.
From: tiredoflurking
[Sean]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 06:52
kurekuretakora, I'll drive you nuts with a typically Canadian habit of apologizing too much then, and say sorry for making you hate us. Oh, there IS one area where the Commonwealth shows up a lot, and that is in University English Courses. There is less and less emphasis on, and admiration for the old "canon", with Shakespeare, Yeats, Shaw and Joyce, and more and more emphasis on "Commonwealth Literature", from India, the Caribbean and Africa. I have no probs with ADDING courses in Commonwealth Lit, but have a MAJOR problem with people who SUBSTITUTE courses in it for the classics, and get English degrees, and end up teaching English in High Schools, Colleges, and University, with scanty knowledge of the English speaking world's common heritage of centuries of great stories, poems and criticism.
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 07:09
Sorry,tiredoflurking,us Brits can out apologize anyone,it's a national pastime. In my humble and uneducated opinion 99.9% of literature written after 1900 is not worth a rats arse.No more than the vain scribbling of spoilt,overeducated dullards with the language skills of a squid. To call the output of Caribbean,Indian and African authors "literature" is to debase the English language to the point where we might as well go back to grunting like baboons.They are of no more worth than Barney brand toilet paper and will be forgotten in 30 years or so. And you know who I blame,Canadians,that's right,thos limpwristed,lumberjackshirtwearing,moosesniffing,cheesescribbling pantywaist francophile snotgobblers,IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT. Sorry about that,got carried quite away. Sorry
From: tiredoflurking
[Sean]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 07:10
Sorry for the whole "Everything You Never Wanted to Know About Canada and Really Didn't Ask About" lectures. Indulged in a few substances last night when we went out, for the first time in months, and my brain is wired a bit differently where things that will make other people dopey and give them the munchies, will do the same for me at first, but I get ultra-focussed and chatty later on as I come down. It is like getting a Tina/crystal meth high without actually doing that nasty, mind-and-mouth-wasting poison. (I tried it once, didn't sleep for 2 days, and had a shitload of cankers in my mouth for a least a day or 2 AFTER I got to sleep.) At least I'm not as bad as two of my three sisters. Even a bit of pot makes them paranoid. My one sister was dating a Jamaican guy and hospitalized herself twice over two months before she swore off the stuff.
From: tiredoflurking
[Sean]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 07:13
Hey, kurekuretakora, at least Canadians get British humour, for the most part. Although the younger people are more and more Americanized.
From: tiredoflurking
[Sean]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 07:17
No more Canadian stuff, I promise. I'm turning off the computer and walking away. Apologies for hijacking the thread and boring the people who might have had something interesting to say to sleep.
From: tiredoflurking
[Sean]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 07:20
Except for this last link to the story about the two gay Mounties who just got married: http://365gay.com/Newscon06/06/063006mounties.htm
From: theodread
[{One More Time}]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 07:23
Well it's Canada Day and I don't give a Fuck Got a forty in my truck and I'm off to the Hill Today And it's allemande left and allemande right Come on ya fuckin' Git get your right step right Get off the stage ya god damn goof ya know Piss me off ya fuckin' jerk get on my nerves And I am off to the Hill today. Parliament Hill Biggest Party On the Planet Today. 100 000 will be there all told. Sitting in Majors Hill Park. Sipping cold beers and smoking fat joints. The cops only ever hassle assholes and turn a blind eye to almost everything else. For those who may want to follow the party. The CBC normally carries all day coverage of events. Or http://webcam.city.ottawa.on.ca/trafficvideo/list_en.htm These cameras will show a bit of the action you won't see on TV. Colonel By/Sussex & Rideau Elgin & Queen Elgin & Laurier Laurier & Nicholas/Waller Mackenzie King Bridge & Waller But this one gives the best idea of the crowds. Live from Parliament Hill! http://www.parliamenthill.gc.ca/text/hillcam_e.html Just watch the crowds grow. The will show only the main crowd, full of tourists and sheep, the real party happens at Major Hill Park. Behind the Chateau Laurier. I may put big Hullo Rotteneers in front of the cam at King Edward and Rideau. (Zone 4 camera that is just off the crowds and I know I can reach.) Have a blast folks. I know I will.
From: tiredoflurking
[Sean]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 07:30
Decided to stay online but just control what I type. Theodread, offhand do you know which regular contributors on here are Canadian? I think I remember a CanadianGirl78 or CanadianGirl1978, but am not sure of others.
From: scruffytakora [zammitdammit]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 07:33
Well a big HI DE HOO,I am Canadian from Sasquatchekan or soemthing. So nice to meet fellow cannooks online. Have a great Canada day,don't go fucking too many mooses now !
From: blahblahblowme
[my inner child is a mean lil fucker]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 08:05
to:From: jomama [did me for free] Date: 1-Jul-2006 00:42 I's da first, everyone else gots to follow Few things; Please don't interrupt me while I am ignoring you. Just a little question for you to think about...if you had multiple personalities could you hold one of them hostage?(you know like the one that posts the same fucking thing like 15 times) Would your other one actually pay the ransom? Ever have a dog and a frisbee?
From: diamonion [poop]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 08:08
I remember seeing this in theaters, i fuckin lold
From: facetious [smart ass]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 08:28
And the blue ribbon award goes to............drum roll please ---- From: jomama [did me for free] Date: 1-Jul-2006 00:42 I's da first, everyone else gots to follow. ---- For being the quickest to read 12 articles and then copy and paste I’s da first, everyone else gots to follow ---- all under 10 minutes congrats.....your mommy must be so proud
From: theodread
[{One More Time}]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 08:48
hm, Canadians eh? Not too too sure Sean, there is dittyd and mikeis green, both from Montreal chathocannadienne is from Ottawa (she is sitting right beside me now  , we will be having sexual relations later). Dunno, guess I haven't been paying very good attention. Anyway, one more post before I go. I grew up about seven blocks from Parliament Hill. I had a lot of freedom as a child as my mother spent an awful lot of time 'partying'. I have missed very few Canada Day celebrations on the Hill. I have been with friends and family and lovers. I have been there sober and so shit faced I couldn't walk. I have made and lost friends there. I have have had fights and been thrown in the drunk tank. Always a good time. The Only thing missing from these celebrations are bonfires with animals slowly roasting over them. The French Fry trucks are a poor second to burnt beast. One year I went with two friends. A Vietnam vet who didn't want to go because the sounds of the fireworks exploding reminded him too much of his experiences. We got him all drunked up and dragged him along. The other guy was a friend I had who was legally blind and deaf. He could see vaguely and hear a little if he was wearing his hearing aids and you yelled at him. He had never been to the Hill even though he had lived in Ottawa all his life. I Had to take him. So, we went early, before the crowds got too big. I wanted to make sure we got a good spot. They change where they fire the shots from every year, so the good spot is always changing. This year the good spot was going to be damn near the center of the crowd in the park behind the Chateau Laurier. So we staked out our area, planted our asses and proceeded to indulge in party fair. Anyway, blind deaf guy was getting bored by the time it was getting dark. his highlight so far had been a trip to the port-a-potty. And Vietnam guy was getting all antsy about the crowd and the prospect of sitting through the fireworks. I have never had as much fun at a Canada Day Celebration as I did when the fireworks started that night. On my right Vietnam guy was sitting rigidly with his eyes clenched shut and his fists pressed hard against his ears chanting 'oh fuck oh fuck' over and over again with the occasional we gotta get out of here (Myname). On my left, blind deaf guy was awestruck. his eyes were wide open and he was staring right into the heart of the display. He was flinching at every detonation and was loving every star burst. He was doing the whole Ooh, AAhh thing like he was the guy who invented it. He kept saying, 'I can feel them and hear them and I can see them'. He was having the time of his life. Man. The show stopped. The crowd caught its breath and broke into applause and rose. Blind deaf guy was trying to get his bearings and Vietnam guy was about to bolt. I grabbed Blind guy and said we better go. He didn't hear me of course.Vietnam guy bolted. I started to drag blind guy after me as I tried to keep up with Vietnam Guy. Nam guy was crazy, he was pushing and elbowing people out of his way. Blind guy had no idea why I had clutched onto his hand and was pulling him through the crowd so fast. He kept saying. '(myname) Stop!, I can't see. I going to trip. Stop!'. I'll tell you, I have never made it to the edge of a crowd fifty thousand strong as fast. It has to be some kind of record. Guess you had to be there, Sorry, ramble over. Good times nonetheless.
From: enowonmai [100% white trash]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 08:49
From: daredevil [CameronVale] Date: 1-Jul-2006 02:38 Ali G. is a turd in human form....an unfunny piece of shit as can be perceived. MTV is also garbage and hasn't played music in decades. It is run by Sumner Redstone, formerly Murry Rothstein. Any questions? If you wish to see a great original "rotten" type flick, I suggest you view 'Man Bites Dog'. It is a scathing French film satirizing media obsession about a video crew doing a documentary of a maniacal serial killer. Being French aside, it is brilliant. (and no Jerry Lewis!) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- It's not a french but belgian movie. The guys, who were all students at that time, nearly didn't finish the movie due to money problems. They would buy small quantities of film and go on, sadly not shooting many scenes because of this. I hope you will enjoy the movie even more now, knowing it comes from the land of beer and chocolates and not from frogland.
From: dirtyslut76
[slut]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 09:13
tiredoflurking theo passed out for awhile finally sobered up thanks for your responses another question do I meed a passport to visit Canada? I have been told no....but i know of a couple people that have been turned away for one reason or another
From: goldamyass [Drucilla]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 09:36
Re: Fluffytakora's reference to the BJ Snowden link and her song "In Canada", this cut and other interesting songs are on an album (!) called "Songs in the Key of Z" (The Curious Universe of Outsider Music). All of the artists are folks who feel driven to record music, most of it original, and they are all either fried from drugs, mentally handicapped or psycho. The liner notes alone are worth the read. Better when stoned, but not a prerequisite.
From: dirtyslut76
[slut]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 09:38
Oh, I am feeling particularly chatty today Where is d?  Anyway I have alot of creepy neighbors. In the entrance to my apartment there are 8 units. With the exception of the Ned Flanders-esque neighbor and the single father, the rest are all creepy. I am the only chick. Comes in handy sometimes...yeah take my groceries in, yeah change my tire...etc. Oh, I have another one whose ok. But he had this dude living with him in his late 40's sleeping on the couch. BBQed with them a couple times. The couch sleeper got buzzed and then was freaking me out. Describing his favorite outfits of mine I wear, one day I was off and he'd noticed my car was still at home and he was gonna wake me up, likes it how when I wear my hair up. Yikes! Like i am going to be with a 48-year-old with no job that has to resort to living on someone's couch. Anyway...my neighbor got rid of him. I feel safer now.
From: dirtyslut76
[slut]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 09:51
Cinderella's Wishes Cinderella was now 75 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now dead Prince, she happily sat upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat called Alan for companionship. One sunny afternoon, out of nowhere, appeared the Fairy Godmother. Cinderella said: 'Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years?' The Fairy Godmother replied: 'Well Cinderella, since you have lived a good, wholesome life since we last met, I have decided to grant you 3 wishes. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?' Cinderella is taken aback, overjoyed and after some thoughtful consideration and almost under her breath she uttered her first wish. 'I wish I was wealthy beyond comprehension.' Instantly her rocking chair was turned into solid gold. Cinderella was stunned. Cinderella said 'Oh thank you, Fairy Godmother!' The Fairy Godmother replied 'It is the least I can do. What is your second wish?' Cinderella looked down at her frail body and said: 'I wish I was young and full of the beauty of youth again.' At once, her wish having been desired, became reality, and her beautiful youthful visage had returned. Cinderella felt stirrings inside her that had been dormant for years and long forgotten vigour and vitality began to course through her very soul. Then the Fairy Godmother spoke again: 'You have one more wish, what shall you have?' Cinderella looked over to Alan, who was now quivering in the corner with fear. 'I wish you to transform my old cat, Alan, into a beautiful and handsome young man.' Magically, Alan suddenly underwent so fundamental a change in his biologicial make up, that when he stoof before her, he was a boy, so beautiful the like of which she nor the world had ever seen, so fair indeed that birds begun to fall from the sky at his feet. The Fairy Godmother said: 'Congratulations Cinderella! Enjoy your new life.' With a blazing shock of bright blue electricity, she was gone. For a few moments, Alan and Cinderella looked into each other's eyes. Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most stunningly perfect boy she had ever seen. Then Alan walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed in her rocking chair, and held her close in his muscular arms. He leant close to her ear, and into her ear breathed as much as whispered, blowing her golden hair with his warm breath, 'I bet you regret having my balls chopped off now, don't you?'
From: jenasaurusx
[Awesome!]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 09:58
Theodread: That was one of the funniest stories I've ever read! Kurekuretakora: A man after my own heart, as Canadians are my favorite people to make jokes about. But how ironic is it that British people are my second favorite people to make fun of. I actually love Canadians, though. Literally. My husband's dad and his family are Canadian. Tireoflurking: You sure know how to make up for lost time! As for the words "gay" and "fag" - firstly, gay had an entirely different meaning before it meant homo. Seondly, if you guys can steal the rainbow and make it your own we can use "gay" and "fag" as descriptors for stuff and people that're lame. Don't take it personally. Homosexuals are typically not "normal" when it comes to society's standards and are often ostracized. When someothing not homo is called "gay" is worthy of ostracizing because it's lame and someone who is not homo who gets called a fag is someone who is either being effeminate or doing something so not normal that they deserve to be ostracized. Just start using "breeder" as a word to describe something that's so typical its boring and maybe you'll feel better about it. I've always been a fan of speech and language as a whole. It gets so frustrating when people tell me I can't use a word (ahem, like "niggerific") the way I want to use it. Or when I want to use creative spelling or grammar to express something more clearly and people point out that it is incorrect. I love the English language because, even thought it's common and there are strict rules for it, you can take it and make it your own. There's such power in words and if you use them right you can force people to feel specific emotions. They can express hate or invoke laughter or take us away to worlds that feel so vivid and so real, but are nothing more than words. Ahhhhhh, words, I love you much! And there. Okay, I'm done. I just wanted to be as long-winded as you so you wouldn't feel alone
From: goldamyass [Drucilla]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 10:00
Hey DS, what's shakin'? I've been out in the yard, my worthless neighbors have no food or water out for their dog, and it's already 96 degrees.
From: conpassage [petit con]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 10:02
Hey old git, are you watching England vs Portugal?
From: sevgeli
[Indecent Exposure... the hacker that was...]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 10:07
Good day all... sure us sunny n' warm here - perfect day for another freak tornado... I'd wish my near neighbors to the north a happy Canada Day... but most of 'em are usually pretty happy anyway - and besides, U'm not sure if it's the done thing... (may get a chance to get down to the lake and watch the fireworks over in Fort Erie... certainly not as good as Ottawa, but I'll make due...) DS: good morning/afternoon - glad to here you caught a few winks... btw, you don't need a passport - although having one does make things easier - but you should take your birth cert with you, just in case - state issued ID's and drivers licenses aren't considered proof enough if formalties are rigidly observed... also, you can be PNG'd at the border if you have a criminal record... just as an aside, of course BigMac: hey dude that's all for now - just a quick drive-by... I'm gonna go play in the sun and soak up some of that vitamin-D... and a few Labatt Ice's in trbute to my beer-brewing friends in the Great White North... now, take off, ya hosers... .ie.
From: dirtyslut76
[slut]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 10:09
Great Female Comebacks Man "Haven't we met before?" Woman "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic." Man "Haven't I seen you someplace before?" Woman "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore." Man "Is this seat empty?" Woman "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down." Man "So, wanna go back to my place ?" Woman "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?" Man "Your place or mine?" Woman "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine." Man "I'd like to call you. What's your number?" Woman "It's in the phone book." Man "But I don't know your name." Woman "That's in the phone book too." Man "So what do you do for a living?" Woman "I'm a female impersonator." Man "What sign were you born under?" Woman "No Parking." Man "Hey, baby, what's your sign?" Woman "Do not Enter" Man "How do you like your eggs in the morning?" Woman "Unfertilized" Man "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason" Woman "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!" Man "I'm here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy." Woman "You mean you've got both a donkey and a Great Dane?" Man "I know how to please a woman." Woman "Then please leave me alone." Man "I want to give myself to you." Woman "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts." Man "I can tell that you want me." Woman "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave." Man "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy Woman "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing." Man "Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?" Woman "Sorry, I don't date outside my species.." Man "Your body is like a temple." Woman "Sorry, there are no services today." Man "I'd go through anything for you." Woman "Good! Let's start with your bank account." Man "I would go to the end of the world for you." Woman "Yes, but would you stay there?"
From: goldamyass [Drucilla]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 10:13
DS, yes, I put food over the fence, and I hosed her down really well. She's a Lab, and she goes nuts from the first moments when I reach down to get the garden hose. Doggie ballet. Where's Cheesie?
From: conpassage [petit con]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 10:21
Hi dirtyslut Here's another one, real. A guy exposed himself to a female friend of mine, and she calmly said, "Look's like a penis, only smaller." He went away.
From: dirtyslut76
[slut]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 10:23
Drucilla thank you I had a similiar situation where I had to call Animal Control on them Didn't have access to feed/water him Couldn't take it anymore
From: baschalove
[TheHostessWithTheMostest]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 10:23
DS: The sale is going well, the ankle is getting bigger and we sold the upstairs stereo... (I'm sad now)Just to have the guy who bought it, call us to say his neighbor kid helped him haul it all in, the kid dropped the receiver down two flights of stairs. He called to ask if we'd sell him the other receiver downstairs. I said sure! $50!!
From: tiredoflurking
[Sean]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 10:24
dirtyslut76, it all depends on when you are planning on visiting Canada and how you are going to get here. Right now you can cross the border with federal or state government issued photo id. Your problem isn't so much going to be getting INTO Canada, but returning home to the States. (The pioneers are circling the wagons, and who can blame them? Seriously if you can afford to travel you can afford a passport. It's great ID for traveller's cheques or for getting a drink in a bar.) http://travel.state.gov/travel/cbpmc/cbpmc_2223.html <======= This link will tell you how you guys are tightening up our shared border. I'm not complaining. Anything that hurts the U.S. is going to hurt us just as bad, and I'm not eager to feel the pain. Basically, if you are travelling now, have an American accent and a driver's licence, you shouldn't have a problem at the border. If you are FLYING into Canada and then back home at the end of your vacation, you will need a passport or some nebulous, yet-to-be-determined new security-enhanced ID card in order to RETURN HOME as of December 31, 2006. This will be extended to land crossings exactly one year later, December 31, 2007. Sorry dirtyslut76. I started typing this ages ago and then got sidetracked by a phone call, and THEN by a quick romp in the hay with my hubby who was about to throw the computer out the window if I didn't pay him some attention. I don't know if your question has been answered already. Seriously, though, always having a valid passport is a good thing. If you keep it in a drawer or safe at home it makes establishing your identity so much easier if your wallet gets stolen. Immigration officers have a LOT of discretionary power, and I've had friends be turned back at the border for being twitchy and evasive. You can't even drive to the next crossing anymore because of the computer systems. They'll tag you.
From: dirtyslut76
[slut]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 10:27
From: conpassage [petit con]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 10:21
Hi dirtyslut
Here's another one, real. A guy exposed himself to a female friend of mine, and she calmly said, "Look's like a penis, only smaller." He went away. --------------- That is an awesome answer. Been exposed to twice. If it happens again, will DEF use that line
From: doczzz
[dwarf fusion]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 10:29
From: kurekuretakora [oldgit]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 06:32
...And that beer Mooseson why does it taste like ass ? ******************** Oldgit, As you are well aware, I disagree with virtually everything you type. However, I couldn't agree with you more on this one. Molsons does indeed taste like ass. Sleemans (another horrific Canadian beer) tastes like moose urine. My favorite tap beer in Canuckistan is Labatt Bleu, but there are some great microbrews. Have you ever tried Canadian Ice Wine? FAR better than any ice wine Europe has to offer. That said, I lived in Canada for 4 years (Montreal). Wonderful country! I miss Canada Day at the Vieux Port. The French-Canadians really do know how to party!
From: dirtyslut76
[slut]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 10:32
Thanks sean Curious are you a guy or gal assumed you were a guy, but you'd mentioned fucking a hubby doesn't matter either way, just like a clearer image of whom I am chatting with.
From: dickhead [I'm just better, than you]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 10:39
DirtySlut, those are some weird pick up lines. And for a self proclaimed slut, you sure are cold and mean. Do change your name to IceQueen please. But who the fuck uses pick up lines seriously? seriously.
From: goldamyass [Drucilla]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 10:40
Jen, what do rich Republicans do for the 4th?
From: dirtyslut76
[slut]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 10:41
dickhead it was a joke If I am being hit on in real life I either walk away or tell them no thanks if they are persistant then I just tell them to fuck off
From: jenasaurusx
[Awesome!]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 10:41
if you were a chick you'd know that there are many idiots out there that think it's charming to use tired lines. Like we're supposed to laught at how clever they are to use a cliched pick-up line when it's really just pathetic that they are using a cliched pick-up line to actually try and pick someone up. Damn, I'm glad I'm married.
From: petone9 [petone9]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 10:45
Peaceful greetings to all. Three great reasons to love Canada: Vancouver Island, British Columbia Little India in Vancouver, B.C. David Cronenberg
From: dickhead [I'm just better, than you]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 10:46
My pick up line would be: "My two favorite things are commitment and changing myself"
From: tiredoflurking
[Sean]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 10:51
?@dirtyslut76. I think my profile spells it out. Almost 35 y.o. (b'day on Monday) Gay Canadian Male, half Protestant Irish (We're almost as evil as the SERBS!) on my Dad's side, and on my Mom's it's basically Scottish immigrants and losers from the American Revolution (up here we call them United Empire Loyalists). As for calling my partner my hubby, it's just one of the words I use. Nothing really fits. We've been together for four and a bit years, living together three and a half of those. We have insurance on each other, file taxes together, and the government considers us "common law spouses". Normally I just call him my partner, but hubby and other words pop up for variety.
From: jenasaurusx
[Awesome!]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 10:51
Drucilla - Well, we recently bought some property in the Colorado desert (not in Colorado, but southern San Diego county) that has an amazing view of Mount Palomar and the hills leading to Temecula. The locals have told us that you can see the fireworks from Temecula from that area so I'm making us a lovely picnic and we're going to head out there for the afternoon and camp overnight. I'd love to go away, but we have to work Sunday and Monday (like most other rich, white Republicans we have worked our asses off for what we have). Hopefully by Wednesday everyone will be back to work and we can spend the day at Dana Point (going early for the tidepools). I highly recommend to all the young kids to be a business owner when you grow up. You may have to work your ass off, but you can take midweek trips when everyone else is at work and it kicks serious ass. The last trip to Knott's Berry Farm was pre-summer vacation on a Wednesday and we never waited in a line ONCE. Thanks for asking, Drucilla - hope you have something fun planned. I love holidays.
From: goldamyass [Drucilla]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 11:02
ICLW - - When I see your initials, I always think of the ACLU. No offense.
From: brainpus [@theColiseum]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 11:04
Hello, Petone9. Hope you've been well. Will that be Regular or Premium today? 
From: jenasaurusx
[Awesome!]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 11:06
Slut - your repeated attempts at gouding me will not work. I don't know why you're so fucking angry all the time, but I know your name-calling and snide comments are way more about YOU than than they are about ME. I actually kind of feel sorry for yo. You seem nice enough, if a little boring, but wow, you've got some issues.
From: naphtali
[Naphtali]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 11:07
Geez... I thought I was long winded. Fucking sprained my mouse-wheel finger get'n through this mess. What is "Canada" anyway..?
From: dirtyslut76
[slut]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 11:10
From: jenasaurusx [Awesome!] Date: 1-Jul-2006 11:06 Slut - your repeated attempts at gouding me will not work. I don't know why you're so fucking angry all the time, but I know your name-calling and snide comments are way more about YOU than than they are about ME. I actually kind of feel sorry for yo. You seem nice enough, if a little boring, but wow, you've got some issues. ---------- what what what? Confused again.
From: naphtali
[Naphtali]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 11:11
From: kurekuretakora [oldgit]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 06:08
See even tiredoflurking says it's quiet but with more fags and something about national feet and pretty mutants or something (didn't actually read the post,too Canadian).
Seriously,have a good time,ride the old moose down to the fur trading stations and swap a few beaver pelts for some fire water.
Fait les bon temps roulez. +++ Hey Git... ...those were days! Trade'n beaver fur firewater. Or was it the other way 'round?? It was so long ago I can't hardly remember it anymore anyway... PS... What is "Canada?"
From: jenasaurusx
[Awesome!]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 11:12
What is so confusing? The only comments you've ever directed my way are to call me a cunt, a bitch, and make some rude remark about hoping I didn't breed. Completely unwarranted remarks that reveal a lot about your personality.
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 11:17
Naphtali,a Canada is a small province of the British Empire owned by our Queen.She chooses to let some quaint people live there,even French ones as it gives her somewhere to go on holiday and it's always nice for us Brits to have someone we can feel superior to. The main exports of Canada are moose syrup,beavers and a kind of beer substitute called "moosesons" which is made from caribou piss. It is a very quaint place and the people "Candidans" like to apologise a lot.(this is because they have a lot to apologise for) Hope this helps.
From: goldamyass [Drucilla]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 11:19
Now I'M confused. I thought when someone called you a "cunt' here, it was a term of endearment.
From: naphtali
[Naphtali]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 11:20
From: jenasaurusx [Awesome!]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 11:12
What is so confusing? The only comments you've ever directed my way are to call me a cunt, a bitch, and make some rude remark about hoping I didn't breed. Completely unwarranted remarks that reveal a lot about your personality. +++ Now, now... It's a game! Gawd Dambit! There are no "unwarranted remarks." I guarantee! And... since we all have several, to which personality doth thou refer (hic)
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 11:20
Drucilla,glad to find someone (at last) who knows "outsider" music.It is my bestest type of music ever.There is a lot available on the web at sites like wfmu,incorrect music siftings,the american song poem association and 365 days project via ubu web.Much of it is,of couse,complete trash but there are many,many diamonds among the rough.
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 11:22
doczz,you handsome,sophisticated charmer you,how can you disagree with "virtually everything" I write when I haven't written it yet ? You wouldn't be prejudging me,would you ?
From: baschalove
[TheHostessWithTheMostest]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 11:24
Cunt is a term of endearment! That the word "cunt" — normally considered the vilest obscenity in the English language, a word that can shock even the least uptight crowd, a word that even gangsta rappers avoid — can be used as a "term of endearment".
From: goldamyass [Drucilla]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 11:29
Yes Kure, some of it is stunning. Jandek, the gloomy droner, no one knows where he is, and he has 28 self-released albums?!! Wes Willis the 320-lb. schizo who sings "Rock n' Roll McDonald's", and is so heavily medicated that he occasionally throws up onstage? And Joe Meek, the original Telstar dude!!
From: naphtali
[Naphtali]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 11:33
From: kurekuretakora [oldgit]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 11:17
The main exports of Canada are moose syrup...)
Hope this helps. +++ Gad dog it... Not only 'm I, pon rare occasion, long winded... I'm apparently Damb gullible. For years I been gitt'n my moose syrup from a guy from Waco who swore it came from San Miguel de Allende. You know.... where the natives stuck their dried out kin on sticks at the city gates to scare away Poncho... Anyway... now that I know it's from Canadia I ain't touch'n it again... (unless it's at least 40 proof)
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 11:33
Drucilla,jandek lives in Texas (probably near naphtali) and has played 3 or 4 live shows in the last year (mainly in england).I have about 1/2 of his albums (they are real cheap,with good reason)which I think is up to about 40 nowadays. Why I have them I can't really say but I really love "Painted my teeth" and one or two others.Have you come across "Wing" yet ?
From: goldamyass [Drucilla]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 11:35
Kure, I did not know Jandek ever came out in public. And I will look up "Wing".
From: petone9 [petone9]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 11:39
Oh, incestuous muse of an earthly Roman god, it may well depend on the I.Q. of the person making said remark. Perhaps. Brainpus - HA!
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 11:43
Drucilla,if you're into downloading, www.comfortstand.com has some more Joe Meek demos (pretty bad) + loads of Mar-tie (the singing grandfather),space lady and others for free. Good hunting,got to go now toodles.
From: naphtali
[Naphtali]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 11:50
From: kurekuretakora [oldgit]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 11:35
naphtali,Waco moose syrup is regarded as inferior by the connoisseur,stick to armadillo jam for that true Texas taste. +++ My great grandma started that biz. "Armadillo Jam." 'damn good on corn pones in the winter times. Regrettably, great grandpa sold the biz so's he could get more Moose Syrup. Now I have to get my Armadillo Jam at the 7-11 down the street. And the real killer... is when they substituted Hydrolyzed Corn Protein for the armadillo parts...
From: 1stliberal [lib]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 12:03
Good afternoon ICLW and DS How are you doing?
From: 1stliberal [lib]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 12:08
doing good. Its really hot here. I will just stay inside today with the air running full blast.
From: naphtali
[Naphtali]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 12:09
Date: 1-Jul-2006 11:18
Napthali:
Me wants firewater!
Is it just me, or is EVERY ONE long winded today?
I think I sprained my finger too, should go well with my ankle! +++ I got an early start. --- There indeed seemed a spate of wind today. I guess that's okay, only I have to now train myself in the usage of the middle finger to spin my mouse-wheel... sorta like writing left handed. --- Empathy!
From: 1stliberal [lib]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 12:14
It's not so hot here today. Just raining a lot. ============== sure hope it doesn't flood were you are. Heard there is a lot of flooding around the country.
From: icanloseweight
[but you'll still be ugly]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 12:16
From: 1stliberal [lib] Date: 1-Jul-2006 12:14 It's not so hot here today. Just raining a lot. ============== sure hope it doesn't flood were you are. Heard there is a lot of flooding around the country. ----------------- No. I don't think it will get that bad.
From: baschalove
[TheHostessWithTheMostest]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 12:19
Napthali: I still have rum from last night. The ankle looks kinda like this:  No, it's not that bad, just really swollen. I'm outta smokes, Big Mac has the car, (and I'll be DAMNED if I'm walking a mile to the store, there and back that is) and I'm bitchy. Let's do shots! 
From: naphtali
[Naphtali]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 12:23
From: dirtyslut76 [slut]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 12:17
ICLW
e-mailed you back +++ Hmm... Secret stuff. LOL. Party on! Now I think I'll open my credit card bill and see if I can't accidentally send them twice as much as the asking price...
From: goldamyass [Drucilla]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 12:23
Liberal, it's too hot to do anything here, as well. And the Lawn Bitch across the street, who mows every 30 minutes it seems like, just did it again. She makes me feel like I need to fire up the Briggs and Stratton. The lawn mower, not the dildoe.
From: niebelung [oregonian]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 12:24
I believe "Canada Day" used to be called "Dominion Day," dinnit?" I wonder why they changed it. I've been to Canada several times, to BC, Manitoba, Ontario and New Brunswick. After living in the USA so long it is always such a pleasure to be in Canada, in a society that actually feels civilized, with people who act decently; a place where I can walk around at night and feel safe. So, congratulations, Canucks! I hope you appreciate how lucky you are.
From: baschalove
[TheHostessWithTheMostest]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 12:34
DS: Stop being a whore! You have to work today? This sale has been a bitch. We live in a split level ranch house with two flights of stairs, plus the outside steps. All day today, up down, up down. Fuck! I woke up this morning, tried to flip in bed, pushing off with my foot, screamed. Went back to sleep through the snooze, tried to flip again... (You get the idea) You'd think I would have gotten the clue the first time!
From: bigmac
[Saving America One Teen At A Time]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 12:38
Love,Love,Love,Love,Love,Love,Love,Love,Love,Love,Love,Love,Love,Love,Love, Don't know why I did that but I thought it might help some. When I get there...I'll show you some love. I know I'm an unmotivatable bastard in the morning but you can't help but love me back.
From: azdollarbill [Jim Jones]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 12:39
Oh yeah, another week goes into the shitter. It has been a strange trip for me. Tuesday my dog had to be put down, cost me $500. Then I found out that I had been ripped off 9 big ones. Then I find out where the money is. I tell them it had better still be there Monday. I am still out a grand, but that's better than 10. Then my son Emails my daughter, saying that he has locked his keys in his truck, & I have the spare key. Lucky for him I saw it, because I don't usually go snooping, but she had left it up on the computer, when I sat down. Oh, & he has a flat tire as well. On the bright side, we are all still alive, which is better than not being alive, I think.
From: naphtali
[Naphtali]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 12:44
From: baschalove [TheHostessWithTheMostest]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 12:19
Napthali:
I still have rum from last night. The ankle looks kinda like this:
No, it's not that bad, just really swollen. I'm outta smokes, Big Mac has the car, (and I'll be DAMNED if I'm walking a mile to the store, there and back that is) and I'm bitchy.
Let's do shots! +++ Yeah. Trying to walk on a busted foot is enough to get most off the cigs. For a while. Anyway... Rum has this way of... Well... Like I always say, starting today anyway, "a shot o'Rum is worth at least a half pack of cigs." [Well.. maybe two shots.] --- ..I'm shoot'n! I have to be careful now, though. I'm on that jagged edge between take'n a nap or washing the dag... LOL.
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 12:47
Ah the old is it better to be alive question ? Well as a scientist my findings are as follows 70% of living people answer "Yup" 19% of living people answer "maybe" 1% of living people answer "no,leave me alone/fuck off" (mainly in the 13-18 age group) However 100% of dead folks answer "no comment" (so far) so scientifically,it is better to be alive than dead.
From: tiredoflurking
[Sean]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 12:54
jenasaurusx, I really wish you hadn't gone and started complaining about how mean some posters, especially dirtyslut76, are to you. You gave me 2 seconds annoyance with what you probably thought was some clever and devastating attack, but I decided it really wasn't worth my time to rise to the bait. You had to start moaning and going on though, didn't you? I thought I had a pretty good impression of what you type, but I used the search function to look through a bunch of your recent postings for confirmation. It really isn't pretty. Have you used the SEARCH function? Would you like a person, not you, who seems to get so much pleasure from making snide attacks on people you consider beneath you? If you want to dish it out (Hell, you called me a homo not that long ago today.), then stop whining and whinging when someone throws some shit back in your direction. dirtyslut76 may have been a teensy bit harsh when she asked you not to breed but do you remember this? You said: "Tireoflurking: You sure know how to make up for lost time! As for the words "gay" and "fag" - firstly, gay had an entirely different meaning before it meant homo. Seondly, if you guys can steal the rainbow and make it your own we can use "gay" and "fag" as descriptors for stuff and people that're lame. Don't take it personally. Homosexuals are typically not "normal" when it comes to society's standards and are often ostracized. When someothing not homo is called "gay" is worthy of ostracizing because it's lame and someone who is not homo who gets called a fag is someone who is either being effeminate or doing something so not normal that they deserve to be ostracized. Just start using "breeder" as a word to describe something that's so typical its boring and maybe you'll feel better about it. I've always been a fan of speech and language as a whole. It gets so frustrating when people tell me I can't use a word (ahem, like "niggerific") the way I want to use it. Or when I want to use creative spelling or grammar to express something more clearly and people point out that it is incorrect. I love the English language because, even thought it's common and there are strict rules for it, you can take it and make it your own. There's such power in words and if you use them right you can force people to feel specific emotions. They can express hate or invoke laughter or take us away to worlds that feel so vivid and so real, but are nothing more than words. Ahhhhhh, words, I love you much! And there. Okay, I'm done. I just wanted to be as long-winded as you so you wouldn't feel alone." It actually wasn't that strong of an attack, as was only good for a "roll of the eyes" and a "pfft", but you were preaching to the choir honey. Water ROLLS off this ducks back. Insult me all you want. Cyberinsults are especially weak since all you have to do is scroll down. What I hate, though, is bullies. I'm kind of on the small side of average now, but I hit my growth spurt early on so was bigger than most of my classmates for a few years and was always kind of an anti-bully who'd protect the scrawny little ones. I wasn't all nelly back then. I still get riled up when I recognize a bully, even in a forum like this. NOW, I'm not sure if she was the one who called you a cunt, or if that was someone else. I'm not going to call you a cunt. I don't have a problem with cunts, even if I don't have a use for them. My Mom squeezed me out of hers, and I had my tongue, fingers and latex-wrapped dick in a few before I became completely sure they weren't for me. As long as there isn't a bacterial or a yeast or a menstrual issue, cunts are actually pretty nice. You, however, are not. Most of your posts are short cutting remarks, meant to belittle. There really isn't anything wrong with that. This IS Rotten.com after all. There is a lot of black humour about people who died or got fucked up in bizarre ways. There are a few flame wars too. You seem to have forgotten your asbestos suit though. Anyway, dirtyslut76, if you read this, go use the search function and check out jenasaurusx's history of postings. You might want to reconsider your apology. Oh, I just scanned a few tens of entries, and haven't been exhaustive. I haven't seen overt evidence of racism yet, but I'm wondering in what context you used "niggerific", the word you mentioned in your little diatribe. I'm also kind of curious why you felt the need to say "I'd love to go away, but we have to work Sunday and Monday (like most other rich, white Republicans we have worked our asses off for what we have)." You see poor brown people don't work their asses off for what they have. Especially the ones who vote for the evil DEMONRATS. Fuck! My bf is dragging me to the park with my sister, brother-in-law and nephews, so I have to wrap this up. Fuck!!! I've lost my train of thought. Ah well, basically, this is Rotten.com. Go on, insult people if you want. If you want more of a challenge, try making a coherent argument against their point of view. Just don't be such a fucking CRYbaby. Oh, and by the way, gay people didn't take the wonderful word "gay" meaning "happy/cheerful/joyous/carefree" and apply it to our festering pustulent sodomitical selves. We took the word "gay" which rich white businessman used to mean "loose" or "of low moral standing" when applied to the prostitutes they'd go visit at the wrong side of the tracks. A lot of the oldest gay slang came from prostitutes. Even "queen" comes from a word spelled the same, or as "quean" meaning whore. A one night stand is a trick, etc. etc. The equivalent of the "rich white republicans" of those days didn't want to see filth like us and the whores, so they smashed us in together and we rubbed off on each other. If I don't go now, I'll be sleeping on the couch tonight, but I can respond to any other barbs you want to throw my way. Have a nice day.
From: conpassage [petit con]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 12:55
As you are well aware, I disagree with virtually everything you type. However, I couldn't agree with you more on this one. Molsons does indeed taste like ass. Sleemans (another horrific Canadian beer) tastes like moose urine. Okay, I can see it when someone says something tastes like ass since it's an odour (or taste) most of us run into. But how do you know about moose urine?
From: azdollarbill [Jim Jones]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 13:07
Quote:"But how do you know about moose urine? " Man, if it is anything like Mule piss, peeuuu! I remember hiking the Canyon, in my younger days, & sharing the trail with Mule trains. Man, you could smell it half a mile away, & when you got close...
From: dirtyslut76
[slut]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 13:12
I am not going to post on Rotten anymore it has run it's course wish all the best my e-mail is on my profile No more DS poof!
From: naphtali
[Naphtali]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 13:16
From: bigmac [Saving America One Teen At A Time]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 12:26
Bascha:
I'll try to get out at some point and take some of the boys for a ride. We'll see what happens. You have the house to yourself for once...enjoy it. +++ Hey Mac Meister... I did the boys thing for a while. 'Married into them. Can you say, at the top of your lungs, GEEZ LOUIZ! The memory most burned into my circuitry was a camping trip to Arkansas. In Carole's van not only did we have her boys... but her grand boys (they all being about the same age tells a little.) We had departed late from Dallas. I was using the passage side front seat window glass as a pillow. It was long about midnight. All of the sudden, in my somnomulence, I hear this gawd-awful sound - like car tires skidding on gravel. As I roused to quasi-consciousness I looked out my pillow... er, window, to spy 800 feet of precipice before me... In the background was laughter, and statements like, "Let's do it again Grandma!" You see, we had come into a bend in the road amid the Arkansas precipices. Fortunately, for all of us, Carole corrected just in time for my pristine moon-lit view of jagged basalt and the tops of pines W a a y down there. Having become a bit accustomed to such near death experiences, I muttered something loving and went back to sleep. My next conscious moment was the sun shining through the windshield, we were parked at a campsite. The boys were comatose. Life is Good... LOL.
From: tiredoflurking
[Sean]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 13:24
Why go away dirtyslut76? We're all going to step on a few people's toes. You did the decent thing and apologized, even if IMHO she didn't deserve it. Take a break, post less for a bit, or not at all, and then start again if you feel comfortable. I guess a few people on here have actually met up in real life, so have some verification of what each other is really like, but the rest of us can basically just make up any shit we want. We don't know if jenasaurusx really IS a rich, white, happily married republican. We don't know if I'm gay. We'd actually probably be pretty stupid to put too many identifying details on here in case we accidentally piss off some uber-hacker who can empty our bank account and have us surreptitiously inserted into the FBI's Most Wanted list in the time it takes me to type this entry. The only thing that does show through in the entries is personality, altho' that too can be purposefully constructed to deceive for entertainment value. Troll anyone? Your personality seems ok. No reason for you to leave as I see it.
From: baschalove
[TheHostessWithTheMostest]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 13:33
tiredoflurking: DS isn't going anywhere! If you've been lurling as long as I think you have, you should know. None of us truly have lives, therefore we must remain entertained. Rotten is our entertainment! Yayyy!!! Big Mac brought me smokes! AND Icecream!! *Not so sullen anymore! I put the icecream on my ankle! Napthali: Don't you just hate those near death experiences?
From: jaindough
[Turdblossom]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 13:35
Gosh..I go away for a few and yet another one quits rotten. You know DS..this is how I believe..if you don't pay my mortgage, feed my animals, or buy my gas..I don't give a flying fuck what you have to say. Don't be thin skinned. Joke em if they can't take a fuck. anyways...aren't ya glad you're not a jew or a muslim in Israel now? Or a turkey buzzard in the engine of the shuttle? Whew..i sure am. picking okra, picking cukes, picking tomatos...and start all over again...picking okra, picking cukes, picking tomatos...and start all over....
From: naphtali
[Naphtali]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 13:36
From: tiredoflurking [Sean]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 13:24
...The only thing that does show through in the entries is personality, ...Your personality seems ok. No reason for you to leave as I see it. +++ I think I mostly like your outlook, Sean...
From: absintheredux
[Green Death]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 13:53
From: conpassage [petit con]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 10:21
Hi dirtyslut
Here's another one, real. A guy exposed himself to a female friend of mine, and she calmly said, "Look's like a penis, only smaller." He went away. ...................................... That was one of the most hilarious lines ever delivered in a prime time show. Sharon Gless, in an old episode of Cagney and Lacey, when flashed by a perv, just threw it away with perfect timing, without even breaking her stride. Pure genius. Reminded me of Buddy Hackett's definition of comedy timing: "Think of your line, and when your asshole puckers, say it"
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 13:53
bascha,saw your post re the dogies,my favourite is actually the gypsy one,you can't really see it in the little pick but that dog's expression is almost identical to gypsys in the rotten photo.Kind of "make my day,punk" look.
From: naphtali
[Naphtali]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 13:58
From: baschalove [TheHostessWithTheMostest]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 13:33
Napthali:
...Don't you just hate those near death experiences? +++ More LOL... I can't tell you how long it took me to become numb. The "boys" went away before I'd actually mastered the discipline. It's a wonder I didn't have a heart attack at some point. However, I did have some dysfunctional in-laws living here a while too, back then. Now that I think of it... Mother Teresa hasn't got shit on me... except maybe she smiled more... Still... there is something to be said for fond memories of moon-lit precipices... and two liter bottles of coke dripping from the ceiling, etc. And... 'am really glad Meister Mac delivered!
From: baschalove
[TheHostessWithTheMostest]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 14:02
Oldgit: That was fitting! (The Gypsy puppy) Napthali: Our boys went to Cleveland for the weekend! Yaayyy! (And I didn't really put the icecream on my ankle. (I should go get it elevated though.) Alex: Good day! 
From: gramcat [Cranky Ol' Gal]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 14:08
A little levity: A Dieter's Prayer Lord, my soul is ripped with riot I incited by my wicked diet. "We Are What We Eat," said a wise old man And Lord, if that's true, I'm a garbage can. I want to rise on Judgment Day, that's plain! But at my present weight, I'll need a crane. So, grant me strength that I may not fall Into the clutches of cholesterol. May my flesh with carrot-curls be dated, T hat my soul may be poly unsaturated. And show me the light that I may bear witness To the President's Council on Physical Fitness. And at margarine, I'll never mutter For the road to Hell is spread with butter. And cream is cursed; and cake is awful; And Satan is hiding in every waffle. Mephistopheles lurks in provolone; The Devil is in each slice of baloney. Beelzebub is a chocolate drop, And Lucifer is a lollipop. Give me this day my daily slice But, cut it thin and toast it twice. I beg upon my dimpled knees, Deliver me from jujubees. And when my days of trial are done, And my war with malted milk is won, Let me stand with Heavenly throng, In a shining robe, size 30 long. I can do it Lord, If You'll show to me, The virtues of lettuce and celery. If You'll teach me the evil of mayonnaise, Of pasta a la Milannaise, Potatoes a la Lyonnaise, And crisp, fried chicken from the South. Lord, if you love me, shut my mouth!
From: absintheredux
[Green Death]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 14:08
From: kurekuretakora [oldgit]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 13:55
Hi green death,I saw your Tom Lehrer lyric on another post,great humourist a long time git favourite. ............................................. LOL, Old Git, thank you for the feedback. I see we must be in the same age group, as he is not exactly contemporary. He is one of my favs along with Flanders and Swann. I still play and sing "I Hold Your Hand In Mine" and "The Masochism Tango" ro the delight of the perverted young'uns. We used to go and listen to him at a coffee house on Mt. Auburn Dr. in Cambridge during the MIT days. He is even funnier in person. Great entertainer.
From: naphtali
[Naphtali]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 14:12
From: baschalove [TheHostessWithTheMostest]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 14:02
...
Napthali:
Our boys went to Cleveland for the weekend! Yaayyy! (And I didn't really put the icecream on my ankle. (I should go get it elevated though.) +++ One has not lived until they've sunk their sore feet into a batch of home made peach ice cream... [I mean, I've had to wade through a lot on the way to the mop...]
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 14:13
actually green death in reality I am very young,I just know Tom Lehrer from my grandma's records.(this may be misinformation) My favs are I wanna go back to dixie (for the line I wanna be a dixie pixie) and the boy scout song. Jealous that you saw the great man live.Of course I would go to see Snoopy dog dog or Britannia Spears because I am so young and all.
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 14:15
bascha,from what I understand of the place shouting Yaaay someone has gone to Cleveland is just about the most unsuitable response ever. Like shouting Yaaay granpa has got his balls caught in the screen door,again.
From: alexlegay [my girlfriend doesn't exist]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 14:26
TSK, why isn't anyone talking about being GAY? Less Borat, More Bruno!! Ich bin ein GAY!
From: naphtali
[Naphtali]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 14:26
From: kurekuretakora [oldgit]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 14:15
...Like shouting Yaaay granpa has got his balls caught in the screen door, again. +++ I think I'm truly done-for this time.... Gasp... LOL. BREATHE... LOL. Long breathless pause. FIRST ALERT! I've dropped my Cigs, and I can't up !!!
From: absintheredux
[Green Death]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 14:27
From: kurekuretakora [oldgit]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 14:19
p.s. green death,there is a doggy for you on the working with poo thread.
Hope you're not too offended. ............................................ (laughing) - Just went to see it . Nor a bit offended, I always fancied myself a bit as a Playboy bunny.
From: jenasaurusx
[Awesome!]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 14:35
From: tiredoflurking [Sean] Date: 1-Jul-2006 13:24 WTF? Don't be blaming me for anything. If someone can call someone else a racist cunt bitch who shouldn't breed they CERTAINLY aren't going to get all bent when that same person says "Gosh, you're not very nice and I'm not going to be calling you names back." You're giving me way too much credit there, pal. I highly doubt I had anything to do with whatever drama is going on here. And for the record, I don't normally keep checking a forum when it gets this big because you guys all do your social thing and it's just not interesting for someone outside your little circle. I didn't see that Slut had apologized and certainly appreciate her peace offering. I wouldn't have seen any of this if I wasn't bored and popped back in. Damn - seriously too much drama for me.
From: jaindough
[Turdblossom]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 14:38
working the farm basically Buscha. We're building an acre paddock for this mean little fucker of a horse..a Welsh Pony. What an asshole. He kicked me in the knee..I'd show you the gross pic but I don't feel like fat jokes today. No broken bones just a really cool bruise. Picking and freezing okra as fast as I can, keeping everyone watered and cool. Such is life during a Texas summer
From: doczzz
[dwarf fusion]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 14:40
From: kurekuretakora [oldgit]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 11:22
doczz,you handsome,sophisticated charmer you,how can you disagree with "virtually everything" I write when I haven't written it yet ?
You wouldn't be prejudging me,would you ? **************************** So far you haven't failed to disappoint, but that doesn't mean I don't find the posts interesting and entertaining. I prefer to save my prejudgements for people whom I know, not the ones I have never met. I will also acknowledge that African wines are inferior. I hate Rieslings.
From: naphtali
[Naphtali]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 14:41
From: baschalove [TheHostessWithTheMostest]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 14:17
Napthali:
Try getting peach ice-cream in your pants! (I have a 6 year old!) +++ I concede. ...and humbly submit that I have been bested! "Peach ice cream in the pants" surely would not wait for a heart attack. Maybe that is why I was so calm at the precipice. But life does, indeed, go on. And the stuff behind is an echo chamber full of laughs... well worth the years of gritted teeth...
From: baschalove
[TheHostessWithTheMostest]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 14:52
One of my best friends just brought me an eggplant sub. Wasn't sure what to think... I think I'm in love!  *Of course mine doesn't look as pretty! "What's fer yer dinner?" (think vikings and credit cards!)
From: naphtali
[Naphtali]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 14:55
From: baschalove [TheHostessWithTheMostest]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 14:29
Napthali:
Are you drunk again? I haven't had a chance to catch up! +++ Well... I wouldn't call it "druck" (sic). More like, nearly 7/8s crocked. There's a big difference, you know... between "drunk" and "crocked..." So... I'm slowing down here. I want to give myself chance to drink myself sober before I go to bed. Additionally, it's Saturday. Which means the next "Artic" run will be sometime Monday after 10. Only half bottle Cuervo left. HeHeHe... The mixer is gone, so Carole will probably leave the bulk to me. She can't do shots thing without git'n a terminal bitter-beer face thing going... LOL.
From: dirtyslut76
[slut]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 15:02
Man that was a hoax actually, no just thought there would be more people applauding my exit I was gone for awhile to take a nap on nice days/nights I like to sleep in my sleeping bag outside Neighbors think I am stark raving mad fuck em altho, a hammock would work Feel rather angry today
From: tiredoflurking
[Sean]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 15:04
Back home and sweating buckets. Hyperhydrosis is not a fun condition, especially when you like to dance, bike, and otherwise be active. I'm seriously considering getting botox injections in my armpits to knock out the major sweat glands there. They say it makes you sweat more at other places though, so I'm not sure.
From: conpassage [petit con]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 15:06
Absintheredux, the incident (Looks like a penis, only smaller) happened to a female friend of mine around 1977 or 8, in Nova Scotia. Cagney and Lacey was on from 1982-8. I guess it was making the rounds. She never told where she got it. I always thought it was original, but very little is, apparently.
From: naphtali
[Naphtali]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 15:08
And... ...after myriad posts, I feel I must redeem myself by circling back to the beginning: Booyakasha Being a bit slow of wit... I googled it. I prefer either definition #5 or #8 at: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Booyakasha
From: merrillvillain
[yeah ........ that merrillville]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 15:11
From: tiredoflurking [Sean] Date: 1-Jul-2006 15:04 Back home and sweating buckets. Hyperhydrosis is not a fun condition, especially when you like to dance, bike, and otherwise be active. I'm seriously considering getting botox injections in my armpits to knock out the major sweat glands there. They say it makes you sweat more at other places though, so I'm not sure. I have co-worker considering the same treatment Because he is a pilot i told him it is a good idea Would you board a plane with a pilot that is sweating buckets ?
From: dirtyslut76
[slut]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 15:19
From: merrillvillain [yeah ........ that merrillville] Date: 1-Jul-2006 15:13 From: dirtyslut76 [slut] Date: 1-Jul-2006 15:10 alex are you still there? I think he left after you said you were leaving for good ---------- shit I hope he isn't upset and cryin' MV, when is the Poter Co Fair?
From: 1stliberal [lib]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 15:26
From: dirtyslut76 [slut] Date: 1-Jul-2006 15:02 Man that was a hoax actually, no just thought there would be more people applauding my exit I was gone for awhile to take a nap on nice days/nights I like to sleep in my sleeping bag outside Neighbors think I am stark raving mad fuck em altho, a hammock would work Feel rather angry today ================== Glad to see you are back. I don't know if you read my post last night saying I was sorry for what I posted about no brains. I really thought someone else had copied part of your name. I didn't realize you were using two names. I only read the user name and not the other name. You are one of my favorit posters.
From: dirtyslut76
[slut]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 15:32
From: 1stliberal [lib] Date: 1-Jul-2006 15:26 ---------------- hey, I don't care what ANYONE says about me. Truly. The only two names I use are dirtyslut76 and DS. Is that what you you mean? BTW, thanks for the compliment. I am just in a really pissy mood today. Where's allang when you need him? I suspect mcnastie won't come back.
From: tiredoflurking
[Sean]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 15:32
From: jenasaurusx [Awesome!] Date: 1-Jul-2006 14:35 WTF? Don't be blaming me for anything. If someone can call someone else a racist cunt bitch who shouldn't breed they CERTAINLY aren't going to get all bent when that same person says "Gosh, you're not very nice and I'm not going to be calling you names back." You're giving me way too much credit there, pal. I highly doubt I had anything to do with whatever drama is going on here. And for the record, I don't normally keep checking a forum when it gets this big because you guys all do your social thing and it's just not interesting for someone outside your little circle. I didn't see that Slut had apologized and certainly appreciate her peace offering. I wouldn't have seen any of this if I wasn't bored and popped back in. Damn - seriously too much drama for me. ============================================================================== jenasaurusx, I didn't blame you for dirtyslut76's exit. That whole escapade took place AFTER my long post. I just called you on your hypocrisy. If you want to be a nasty person in Rotten.com you can BE a nasty person on Rotten.com and sling mud at everyone. Who knows? Maybe your Rotten.com persona is just a construct that you use to blow off steam, and in your real life you're actually a tolerant and almost saintly grief counsellor who has to console scores of people each day with never enough time to think about yourself. HOWEVER, if you want to call me a homo and insult other people and groups of people in your post, be prepared to be insulted right back. You have to have a thicker skin. Otherwise you're just an adult version of the little girl who'd go around kicking little boys in the family jewels, but would burst out crying if anyone shoved her back on the grass. If you want to insult people, be prepared to be insulted. If you come on here and are nothing but nice and reasonable, yet people STILL rag on you, THEN I'll come to your defence. (I'm kind of like the ACLU. I'll defend people I may disagree with for the sake of a principle. Not always, but sometimes.) As for my "little circle", it's DAMN small. How big a circle can you make with one person? I'm so new here that they haven't even taken off my shrink-wrap yet, so I'm guess I'm practicing safer posting. Ok, with that pathetic semi-joke out of the way, I guess I've been reading the Rotten.com forums since they added them to the site, but I haven't really been linking the postings with the usernames. I've only posted 2 previous times, once a few months ago, and once a few weeks ago, but I forgot my passwords and had to get a new username. I've been impressed by gypsydances AND by absintheredux, even tho' the latter took me to task when she thought I was being unfair to someone with the username cutter when we got into an argument about the scientist who grew a rabbit penis from cell cultures. I was wasn't making personal attacks, but I was playing devil's advocate to have fun, and "cutter" got upset.
From: dirtyslut76
[slut]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 15:34
From: merrillvillain [yeah ........ that merrillville] Date: 1-Jul-2006 15:29 The Porter county fair is towards the end of July -- i am nout sure though I had a pamphlet listing all of the events but i am unable to locate it considering i woke up and started popping Vicodin ----------- Vicodin? we have more in common than I thought.
From: tiredoflurking
[Sean]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 15:39
dirtyslut76, someone was using a nick which was a takeoff on yours, dildoslut76 in y'day's room about the guy with a lightbulb up his ass. There was also an alexlegay copy of alexisgay. people are still reading and posting in that room today, so maybe he is referring to this?
From: tiredoflurking
[Sean]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 15:46
Aw shucks. Thanks! I'm sure I'll piss some of you off most of the time, and I'll probably annoy all of you at least once or twice if I stay on here long enough, but basically I'll try to be decent. I tend to share a bit too much about my sex life, so feel free to tell me to back off if I start giving too much info for your comfort level/ability to stomach dinner. I live in a gay ghetto, work mostly with gay people or straight people who have a lot of gay friends, and sometimes I go past people's comfort zones without realizing it. Speaking of dinner, I have an appointment with a hot stove. Nite all!
From: 1stliberal [lib]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 15:48
From: tiredoflurking [Sean] Date: 1-Jul-2006 15:39 dirtyslut76, someone was using a nick which was a takeoff on yours, dildoslut76 in y'day's room about the guy with a lightbulb up his ass. There was also an alexlegay copy of alexisgay. people are still reading and posting in that room today, so maybe he is referring to this? ================== Thanks Sean I couldn't remember which thread it was.
From: naphtali
[Naphtali]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 15:56
From: merrillvillain [yeah ........ that merrillville]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 15:52
What the hell is a "gay ghetto" ? +++ Northern Pakistand...? [JUST KIDDING!]
From: merrillvillain
[yeah ........ that merrillville]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 15:59
From: naphtali [Naphtali] Date: 1-Jul-2006 15:56 From: merrillvillain [yeah ........ that merrillville] Date: 1-Jul-2006 15:52 What the hell is a "gay ghetto" ? +++ Northern Pakistand...? [JUST KIDDING!] Great - now i dont know what Northern Pakistand is either please elaborate
From: dirtyslut76
[slut]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 16:09
OOh I am cranky Went to get cigs at the gas station My shorts were dirty so I put on clean jeans When I was leaving the cashier (who I kinda know) said yout have a fabrice sheet coming out your jeans I said, who the fuck cares. I need nice pills
From: 1stliberal [lib]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 16:12
From: dirtyslut76 [slut] Date: 1-Jul-2006 16:09 OOh I am cranky Went to get cigs at the gas station My shorts were dirty so I put on clean jeans When I was leaving the cashier (who I kinda know) said yout have a fabrice sheet coming out your jeans I said, who the fuck cares. I need nice pills ================= It will get better. After all when you are having a bad day there is only one way to go and that is up. Tomorrow will be better. Sean found the thread I was talking about.
From: absintheredux
[Green Death]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 16:15
From: merrillvillain [yeah ........ that merrillville]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 15:52
What the hell is a "gay ghetto" ? ................................................... Is that a real question, or are you merely casting bait to see if anyone bites. The metaphor is hardly difficult to figure out. C'mon now... 'fess up
From: dirtyslut76
[slut]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 16:17
From: merrillvillain [yeah ........ that merrillville] Date: 1-Jul-2006 16:12 DS76 i still have ten left you are more than welcome to a couple ---------- ok give me directions to your place are they ES? If not, I may need 3.
From: naphtali
[Naphtali]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 16:18
From: naphtali [Naphtali]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 15:56
From: merrillvillain [yeah ........ that merrillville]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 15:52
What the hell is a "gay ghetto" ?
+++
Northern Pakistan...?
[JUST KIDDING!]
Great - now i dont know what
Northern Pakistand is either
please elaborate +++ Nothing to elaborate, really. ...just an asshat attempt at unreflected humor. My bad.
From: dirtyslut76
[slut]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 16:20
It will get better. After all when you are having a bad day there is only one way to go and that is up. Tomorrow will be better. Sean found the thread I was talking about. To be blunt, pms is rearing its ugly head vicodin will ease the pain soon to come
From: merrillvillain
[yeah ........ that merrillville]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 16:21
From: absintheredux [Green Death] Date: 1-Jul-2006 16:15 From: merrillvillain [yeah ........ that merrillville] Date: 1-Jul-2006 15:52 What the hell is a "gay ghetto" ? ................................................... Is that a real question, or are you merely casting bait to see if anyone bites. The metaphor is hardly difficult to figure out. C'mon now... 'fess up It is a legit question Is it a working-class neighborhood like Gary,In or a gay neighborhood that consists of poor gay people Is it a canadian thing ? i would rather walk through a gay neighborhood than Gary any night of the week I will admit the phrase "gay ghetto" can open up the floodgates for a slew of homophobic and racist comments -- but i am a pothead by nature so i naturally like everybody
From: naphtali
[Naphtali]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 16:30
Testing table and font tags: TABLE: <table> <tr> <td>X</td> <td>X</td> </tr> <tr> <td>X</td> <td>X</td> </tr> </table> ------- FONT: <font color="#FF0000" size="1">font</font>
From: tiredoflurking
[Sean]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 16:33
merrillvillain, the politically correct queer police will be after me for using an outdated and frowned-upon term. sometimes i think i'm living in 1984 and Big Brother is constantly putting out a new dictionary of approved terms. we are supposed only to talk about gay villages now, especially as they've poured so many dollars into beautification, and so many new condos are being filled with yuppie gays and cool urban straights, while getting rid of the affordable lowrises that the artisans and bohemians who created the neighbourhood in the first place could afford. Okay, I'm going to stop being a lazy ass, and going to start capitalizing where appropriate, but I'm NOT going to fix the above paragraph. The "Gay Village" in Toronto is centred on the intersection of Church and Wellesley Street East, and I live half a block from that ground zero. That's what I get for being out of town on business when my partner found the apartment. I like straight people and was looking forward to living in a more mixed neighbourhood, but instead little cackling swarms of quasi-anorexic twinks (young effeminate/effete gay men)in lowrise jeans that would make Britney Spears blush swish past on the sidewalk outside our lobby day and night. One or two twinks within a large group of friends I can tolerate, but when I'm surrounded by them en masse, my teeth start to grind together. Their are two "villages" in Vancouver. One in the West End, near Stanley Park, near the intersection of Davie and Denman Streets. I lived there too, many moons ago. There is also a lesbian village centered on the Commercial Drive area, which has lower rents and a gritter feel. It is many, many blocks to the east. The village in Montreal is on rue Ste. Catherine est, and the Beaudry Metro (subway) station is all decked out as if someone ate too much rainbow coloured sherbert and threw up. Oh, alexasaurusx, when you accused us gay people of hijacking the rainbow, I forgot to tell you that a lot of us wouldn't mind giving it back. For free. No ransom at all.  It's pretty, but it's been a bit overdone. Personally I'm a fan of the more cryptic early symbols, like the lower case Greek lamda, or of the lesbian's use of the labrys, a double-bladed axe. I do like gay people, but I'm getting ready for a move to a less hectic neighbourhood. Can you tell?
From: sandywoods
[Andrew Woods]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 16:38
From: alexthegreat [My girlfriend doesn't know about my boyfriend] Date: 1-Jul-2006 14:09 LOL! How much you want to bet the cat just walked away after that pic was taken? I went online to find out more about Canada, and discovered some thing very interesting. Their changing the images on their money... I found some pics...   -------------------------------------- You are kidding, that's not real money?
From: naphtali
[Naphtali]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 16:44
From: tiredoflurking [Sean]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 16:33
merrillvillain, the politically correct queer police will be after me for using... +++ ...finally! A not-in-your-face gay guy. I mean, out in the real world. Here, in-your-face is mostly acceptable (though it's nice to just post oddball stuff that makes people laugh... or think.)
From: sandywoods
[Andrew Woods]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 16:47
From: dirtyslut76 [slut] Date: 1-Jul-2006 16:44 sandywoods hi MV, you should set up a yahoo account then we can make our discreet plans to trade vicodin for sex ------------------------ WTF is vicodin, never heard of it?
From: dirtyslut76
[slut]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 16:47
hey naphtali The majority of gay people I have met are usually more upstanding citizens than the general population. Hi Hellen!
From: tiredoflurking
[Sean]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 16:50
A few months ago I was killing time online and found a great article on the origin of the first ghetto, which came for a word in the Venetian Italian dialect for slag, since the Jews were forced to live on an island away from the nice part of Venice on the site of an old foundry. You can find most of the same information in the Wikipedia article on ghettos. The student housing area surrounding Queen's University (my alma mater -- ironic, no? I even lived on Princess Street while attending!) in Kingston, Ontario is known as the Student Ghetto. The houses there are pretty tatty tho', since the students tend to trash them, and the absentee landlords charge rents based more on proximity to the campus than to quality of construction and upkeep. The university administrators are also trying to get people to call it the Student Village, to instill some pride, but without much success. I can understand why some poorer ethnic groups might take offence at our use of the word ghetto, though, since the rents in the Gay Village in Toronto are pretty high, and you need a decent job to afford an apartment or a condo of any size. I try to use the word "village" but slip up some times. Just think of me as your dotty but lovable 85 y.o. grandmother who speaks of the "charming negress who just moved in two doors down" without meaning to cause any offence. I just had a slip of the keyboard. I also kind of exaggerated my aversion to twinks. Some of them are decent people, but I guess I'm getting old, because I'm starting to miss the pop cultural references, and the conversations just seem WAY, WAY too shallow.
From: tiredoflurking
[Sean]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 16:54
We're no more or less upstanding that anyone else, dirtyslut76. You've just been lucky if you've only met nicer gay people. Enough gay talk tho'. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hijack the thread when I used the "gay ghetto" term. Anyone curious about the strange way we say certain words, especially "about" up here in the Great White North? And, no, we don't say "aboot" or "aboat". It's a bit more complicated than that.
From: sandywoods
[Andrew Woods]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 16:56
From: tiredoflurking [Sean] Date: 1-Jul-2006 16:50 Just wondering WTF is a twink, then I did a search on good old Wikipedia, and found that it means "Twinkie or its more common abbreviation twink is used in gay slang to describe a young or young-looking male, usually of slender build, only slightly muscular, with little or no body hair (often referred to as a "swimmer's build").", sounds like a descripion of someone who posts on this forum, who's name I won't mention?
From: naphtali
[Naphtali]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 17:00
From: bigmac [Saving America One Teen At A Time]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 16:50
OK Who fucked up the borders?
I despise scrolling from side to side.
Grumble, Grumble hummph +++ I gather it has something to do with an out-of-spec method for posting pictures. But then I don't have a clue. Scrolling is a pain. But it seems, more often than not, that's what I've been having to do here. Perhaps the powers-that-be could post an "FAQ" or "how-to" for the other than straight text posts...
From: dirtyslut76
[slut]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 17:02
speaking of gay Has anyone straight ever tried it? I really enjoy watching lesbians go at it but the few attempts at any lesbian experience I have had....couldn't go thru it Like watching male porn too I am wondering...maybe because I like watching it, is b/c theu seem to enjoy it more? Alot of traditional porn seems mechanical I don't watch porn ofter Just an observation
From: bigmac
[Saving America One Teen At A Time]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 17:06
*IMPORTANT ROTTEN BULLETIN* 1.If you want to post a picture, LOOK at the preview before adding the comment. If the pic isn't in the preview it means the url is crap and you should get another link to the pic. 2.If you want to post a url or link to another site that is a large link take the link to tinyurl.com and shrink it there. Yes it is some trouble, but not as much trouble as scrolling left and right every post you read. (not a mod or one of the powers that be) End Transmission...
From: absintheredux
[Green Death]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 17:07
LOL Merrilvillain I now fully understand your confusion. I think, BTW, that the terms "Gay Ghetto" and "Gay Village" are a bit idiotic, when we have a perfectly good word like "neighbourhood" which requires no explanation. "Ghetto" implies a forced occupancy (de facto or de jure) and has connotations of poverty and blight. I see what you thought, and it was a very logical inference. "Village" strikes me as precious and yuppyish. I'll stick with the good old "Neigbourhood". What in hell "PC" has to do with any of this escapes me completely.
From: bigmac
[Saving America One Teen At A Time]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 17:13
Greendeath: Your post for some reason reminded me how much I hated that movie "The Village" M. Night Shamylons bastard child. I came to the theater expecting some friggin monsters and mayhem, maybe even some horror!! I got much less...
From: dirtyslut76
[slut]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 17:16
From: bigmac [Saving America One Teen At A Time] Date: 1-Jul-2006 17:13 Greendeath: Your post for some reason reminded me how much I hated that movie "The Village" M. Night Shamylons bastard child. I came to the theater expecting some friggin monsters and mayhem, maybe even some horror!! I got much less... ----- I kinda liked that flick I hear he has a new one coming out soon
From: tiredoflurking
[Sean]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 17:19
Sandywoods, as one of my friends, who is in his late forties and even MORE of a curmudgeon than I am asked me the other day: "What do you call the digusting part all around the outside of a twink's a**hole? The twink!" I won't go that far. It is just the dosing that gets me. I'm easily overwhelmed. I have a significant hearing loss in my left ear, and find it hard to focus in when there is a free-wheeling, structureless conversation bouncing all around me. I also have a few very good friends in their early twenties. They just don't fit the stereotypical twink mold. One in particular has the build and clothing style of a twink, but not the fey speech and exaggerated mannerisms. Our best friend and temporary roommate, who just moved out, is ten years younger than me and my partner. He is a lot more grounded than most men my age though, and a lot more mature than I am. I'm not proud of my aversion to twinks. I don't know if it is "internalized homophobia", or just that I'm not always the most tolerant person when people are being flighty and bitchy, but I do manage to hide my true feelings in public, even if only by moving away. I vent more to my older friends or in a safe forum like this. alexisgay, if u are a twink, I'd probably still like you in person. You seem to have a lot of interesting things to say. If you showed up at a house party I was attending with a dozen rail thin, eye-brow-plucked, Diesel and Dolce & Gabanna clad, androgynoboyz in tow behind you, that is the only time I'd have a problem. I realize tho' that this is MY problem, not the twinks. I'm not bitchy to them. I wish I could like them, but I don't. I don't like kidneys either, never have, never will. Same thing for hardboiled eggs. I've tried, but can't change. So far. I'll keep trying. We have to get out of here to get a decent spot to view the fireworks. Take care guys. I haven't read if anyone was curious about the explanation about some of the weird ways Canucks talk, but I'll have to reply another day if you did. Maybe later tonite.
From: bigmac
[Saving America One Teen At A Time]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 17:22
Greendeath: The idea was sound but it was just cheesy how the discovery part of the story came about(trying not to spoil it for the others)plus, the acting sort of blew donut holes. On another note the other key word in your earlier post reminded me of "Jacob the Liar" which I enjoyed thoroughly. It made me sad, happy, hopeful, fearful, hopeful again, sad again, hopeful again and then sad all over. I like movies that engage my emotions like that. They suck you in. Whoop your ass and spit you out again.
From: sandywoods
[Andrew Woods]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 17:23
From: merrillvillain [yeah ........ that merrillville] Date: 1-Jul-2006 17:01 Sandy vicodin is a prescription painkiller (hydrocodone and acetomenaphin ?) Twink is the best word i have heard all day ------------------- Didn't know what viodin was, I don't take any medication whatsoever, unless beer is classed as medication? I didn't know what the word "twink" meant, and have never heard of it before. I have done a picture search on yahoo.com, and it gives various results, from pics of naked guys, to pics of cats.  
From: absintheredux
[Green Death]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 17:25
From: bigmac [Saving America One Teen At A Time]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 17:13
Greendeath:
Your post for some reason reminded me how much I hated that movie "The Village" M. Night Shamylons bastard child.
I came to the theater expecting some friggin monsters and mayhem, maybe even some horror!!
I got much less... ............................................. I liked parts of it. The atmospheric quality and the building up of the tensions were a turn on. The resolution and ending were a huge disappointment. It felt as if he had no idea where to go , or ran out of time or budget. Bryce Dallas Howard, however, gets an A+ -- I want to see more of her work.
From: sandywoods
[Andrew Woods]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 17:26
From: dirtyslut76 [slut] Date: 1-Jul-2006 17:02 speaking of gay Has anyone straight ever tried it? I really enjoy watching lesbians go at it but the few attempts at any lesbian experience I have had....couldn't go thru it Like watching male porn too I am wondering...maybe because I like watching it, is b/c theu seem to enjoy it more? Alot of traditional porn seems mechanical I don't watch porn ofter Just an observation --------------------- Yeah, I really enjoy seeing pics of lesbians, especially if they are performing sex acts, it really gives me an hard on.
From: enigma [John]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 17:28
 To DS. From: alexthegreat [My girlfriend doesn't know about my boyfriend] Date: 1-Jul-2006 13:35 DS? I just finish reading all the comments here, and your leaving? NOOOO!! Stay and talk to me, pleeeeaaaaaasse!! Your my online big sis, you have to talk to me! You can’t just leave Alex like that. That wasn’t very nice. I think you should make it up to him. “just thought there would be more people applauding my exit” Why would you think that? Seems you have friends here. I rarely get to post, but I do read a lot of posts. I would like to say this to everyone here though. Would everyone please pay closer attention to whom is posting? Not just look at the comments. The trolls are getting their jolly’s watching you have a go at each other. To todesengel187 [Danzil Kitano] Could you please change your posts a little, reverse them I mean. Put the posters comments first then your own. It is easier to read. I believe baschalove [TheHostessWithTheMostest] requested you do the same. In response to an earlier question of yours a few days ago, yes we do practise Shackle Hands, though I must admit I never knew it was an art. It is very effective. To altakuri [peacefulone] Please keep posting. You are a crack up. It is like listening to a friend of mine. I cannot stop laughing. You make my day. Hi Gypsy, we always seem to miss each other. Wishing you all the best. And to Bella, out there somewhere, hopefully having a great time, I miss your input. Rotten is not the same without you. You are one of the most intelligent witty informative ladies I have ever had the privilege to converse with. Miss you heaps.
From: jenasaurusx
[Awesome!]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 17:28
From: tiredoflurking [Sean] Date: 1-Jul-2006 15:32 I apologize for explaining to someone who asked that you had mentioned you were homo. That's short for homosexual by the way, not a slur, and it's the official term for someone who slarvs the dode. I thought you had mentioned REPEATEDLY and graphically that you were gay, but since you took such offense I must have misread. My mistake. I also don't remember calling anyone that comments here foul names, but again, I must be wrong. Oh wait. Maybe you were just seeing the future. Like now. When I call you an annoying asshole who can't control the shit flowing from his fingers. Have fun kids. I'm over your self-induced drama. Slut - now you have a valid reason to call me a cunt and maybe it will make you feel better, so go for it. Knock yourself out.
From: dirtyslut76
[slut]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 17:33
From: enigma [John] Date: 1-Jul-2006 17:28 To DS. From: alexthegreat [My girlfriend doesn't know about my boyfriend] Date: 1-Jul-2006 13:35 DS? I just finish reading all the comments here, and your leaving? NOOOO!! Stay and talk to me, pleeeeaaaaaasse!! Your my online big sis, you have to talk to me! You can’t just leave Alex like that. That wasn’t very nice. I think you should make it up to him. “just thought there would be more people applauding my exit” Why would you think that? Seems you have friends here. ---------- Thank you I tend to ramble I am just cranky today Fuck you I kid
From: tiredoflurking
[Sean]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 17:35
For the second time today I get up and tell people that I'm ready to go, and they go and tell me we're still waiting on one more person -- who had to drive in from Etobicoke (suburban hell), so I have a little bit of time left. Absintheredux, the "gaybourhoods" (yes, the search for just the right term has spawned even THIS abomination) are really more than just a suburban neighbourhood or a place that people sleep. They tend to support a lot of small specialty stores, fine foods, groceries, old-fashioned hardware (non-chain) stores, etc. You may pay a bit more, but if you have a home office, you really don't have to travel more than a block from your front door to get anything. Even in Toronto at large, the city tries to nurture self contained "villages" (Bloor West Village) is one. To me, a neighbourhood has residences and maybe a store or two, but an urban village can supply you all the necessities of life within a five minute walk. We ditched our cars when we moved downtown, and just do rentals when we travel out of town. You wouldn't believe the amount of money two professionals can sock away when they aren't paying for gas and parking. That is one of the things that is going to make it hardest to move from where we are. If we go to the neighbourhood I have my eye on, we'll probably need at least one car.
From: sandywoods
[Andrew Woods]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 17:37
From: tiredoflurking [Sean] Date: 1-Jul-2006 17:19 Sandywoods, as one of my friends, who is in his late forties and even MORE of a curmudgeon than I am asked me the other day: "What do you call the digusting part all around the outside of a twink's a**hole? The twink!" I won't go that far. It is just the dosing that gets me. I'm easily overwhelmed. I have a significant hearing loss in my left ear, and find it hard to focus in when there is a free-wheeling, structureless conversation bouncing all around me. I also have a few very good friends in their early twenties. They just don't fit the stereotypical twink mold. One in particular has the build and clothing style of a twink, but not the fey speech and exaggerated mannerisms. Our best friend and temporary roommate, who just moved out, is ten years younger than me and my partner. He is a lot more grounded than most men my age though, and a lot more mature than I am. I'm not proud of my aversion to twinks. I don't know if it is "internalized homophobia", or just that I'm not always the most tolerant person when people are being flighty and bitchy, but I do manage to hide my true feelings in public, even if only by moving away. I vent more to my older friends or in a safe forum like this. alexisgay, if u are a twink, I'd probably still like you in person. You seem to have a lot of interesting things to say. If you showed up at a house party I was attending with a dozen rail thin, eye-brow-plucked, Diesel and Dolce & Gabanna clad, androgynoboyz in tow behind you, that is the only time I'd have a problem. I realize tho' that this is MY problem, not the twinks. I'm not bitchy to them. I wish I could like them, but I don't. I don't like kidneys either, never have, never will. Same thing for hardboiled eggs. I've tried, but can't change. So far. I'll keep trying. We have to get out of here to get a decent spot to view the fireworks. Take care guys. I haven't read if anyone was curious about the explanation about some of the weird ways Canucks talk, but I'll have to reply another day if you did. Maybe later tonite. ---------------------------------- Sean, you're baffling me now with this gay jargon, the only thing I understand is the two brand names of overpriced clothing, Dolce & Gabanna, and Diesel.
From: tiredoflurking
[Sean]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 17:42
AND homo is a slur, jenasaurusx, but a kind of quaint and outdated one. Sooooooooooooo 1984. Do you get out of your gated community much, or are you too fearful of contamination by the lesser orders?
From: rottenaddict
[Hellen]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 17:43
I know what you are going through. I have got worse with it as I get older. EVERYONE stays clear of me when I get it. Hell, I wish I could get away from me. Maybe we should just bitch about everything till you feel better.
From: absintheredux
[Green Death]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 17:48
From: tiredoflurking [Sean]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 17:35
For the second time today I get up and tell people that I'm ready to go, and they go and tell me we're still waiting on one more person -- who had to drive in from Etobicoke (suburban hell), so I have a little bit of time left.
Absintheredux, the "gaybourhoods" (yes, the search for just the right term has spawned even THIS abomination) are really more than just a suburban neighbourhood or a place that people sleep. They tend to support a lot of small specialty stores, fine foods, groceries, old-fashioned hardware (non-chain) stores, etc. .................................... That's exactly one of the specific dictionary meanings of "neighbourhood". e.g. "Italian Neighbourhood", which implies cultural and culinary ties, mom and pop establishments, etc... "Gay neighbourhood" (as the Castro in S.F.) tells it just fine without resorting to execrable neologisms. LOL
From: sandywoods
[Andrew Woods]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 17:50
From: tiredoflurking [Sean] Date: 1-Jul-2006 17:42 AND homo is a slur, jenasaurusx, but a kind of quaint and outdated one. Sooooooooooooo 1984. Do you get out of your gated community much, or are you too fearful of contamination by the lesser orders? ------------------------------- That word has got me into more than a fight or two when I was a kid, as I was deeply offended at being accused, or being called, a poof, queer, faggot or homo. I think I speak for all the heterosexuals on this forum?
From: dirtyslut76
[slut]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 17:54
That word has got me into more than a fight or two when I was a kid, as I was deeply offended at being accused, or being called, a poof, queer, faggot or homo. I think I speak for all the heterosexuals on this forum? maybe you have been called homo b/C of your hot ass?
From: absintheredux
[Green Death]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 17:57
From: tiredoflurking [Sean]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 17:42
AND homo is a slur, jenasaurusx, but a kind of quaint and outdated one. Sooooooooooooo 1984. Do you get out of your gated community much, or are you too fearful of contamination by the lesser orders? ................................................ Too funny, Sean. Jenasoreass is a rather fascinating creature: a passive-aggressive troll. I just ignore her as I do a very very few others on Rotten. Feeding trolls and mud wrestling with swines is just too fucking unproductive.
From: sandywoods
[Andrew Woods]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 18:03
From: dirtyslut76 [slut] Date: 1-Jul-2006 17:54 That word has got me into more than a fight or two when I was a kid, as I was deeply offended at being accused, or being called, a poof, queer, faggot or homo. I think I speak for all the heterosexuals on this forum? maybe you have been called homo b/C of your hot ass? ----------------------- What do you mean by that?
From: tiredoflurking
[Sean]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 18:06
Sandywood, it confuses a lot of gay people even. A lot of the older terms (which are falling/have fallen) out of use were actually INTENDED to be inscrutable, so that overheard conversations wouldn't result in quick arrests or a nasty beating. A "friend of Dorothy" was a reference to gay men's adoration of Judy Garland throughout the late 50s and 60s. The Stonewall riots in New York in late June of 1969, which didn't mark the start of the gay liberation movement, but rather its transition into a more overt and militant phase, happened after police raided a mostly drag bar with a large proportion of Latino queens among their clientele, who were morning the death of Judy Garland. Wikipedia is a pretty good source of information. Just check the history page to make sure that there hasn't been recent vandalism. Anyway, some people asked earlier what Canada meant? The government here pays for these little vignettes that play during commercial breaks and teach us couch potatoes something about their history. One of them shows a French explorer, a pompous interpreter, and the interpreter's assistant meeting with a native tribe of the Iroquoian group around the Ottawa river (which forms a lot of the border between Quebec and Ontario nowadays). The explorer asks for the name of this land, as he gestures towards some huts, and the aboriginal man says something that sounds like a compromise between "Kanata" and "Kanada". The pompous interpreter says to the expedition leader that the chief says the land is called "Ca-na-da", but his assistant pipes up and says that he thinks that "Kanata" is actually the name for a collection of huts, and is quickly shushed by his boss who insists that he KNOWS what "Ca-na-da" means, and that it IS the name of this land. Basically, we are meant to take from this that some dumb white French guy's mistake almost 500 years ago has resulted in our country's name actually meaning "village". I've been lazy, so I haven't done any digging. It may be revisionist history. God knows the early Europeans (and the later ones) did enough dumb things. I'm not sure they are guilty of this one though. Yet.
From: tiredoflurking
[Sean]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 18:15
absintheredux, are you a woman? I think that you told me you were back when you were telling me off for shamelessly (but I hope not cruelly) baiting "cutter" during the whole artificial rabbit penis thing. Anyway, I hope that you are, because large vocabularies make me moist, and my nipples could cut glass after you used the word "execrable". I'm happily partnered with a man who understands and tolerates my linguistic fetish, but doesn't play along. I can't afford to bring temptation into the equation. Fuck. The fireworks are starting, and we are still waiting on one person. Heading up to the roof I guess. Back in a half hour or so.
From: rottenaddict
[Hellen]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 18:15
From: dirtyslut76 [slut] Date: 1-Jul-2006 18:07 sandywoods you have a nice ass based on the pic you had posted here that is all *************** I agree.
From: petone9 [petone9]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 18:19
Good evening, fellow Crone. Whenever anyone uses the term "troll" I can't help but think of troll dolls. They were chubby and naked and had bad hair - three qualities I personally find to be desirable in people as well as children's toys. Minding my own business and shutting up now...thank you.
From: tiredoflurking
[Sean]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 18:22
Nope, that was just a rogue firework. Etobicoke woman has arrived and we are on our way to Ashbridges Bay. Don't think we'll make it in time, but the kids like the bangs, so we'll try. g'nite all.
From: sandywoods
[Andrew Woods]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 18:25
From: dirtyslut76 [slut] Date: 1-Jul-2006 17:54 That word has got me into more than a fight or two when I was a kid, as I was deeply offended at being accused, or being called, a poof, queer, faggot or homo. I think I speak for all the heterosexuals on this forum? maybe you have been called homo b/C of your hot ass? -------------------------- You mean this pic? This pic is only recent, and I have never had a pic of my ass taken before, let alone posted on the net. 
From: absintheredux
[Green Death]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 18:41
From: petone9 [petone9]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 18:19
Good evening, fellow Crone.
Whenever anyone uses the term "troll" I can't help but think of troll dolls. They were chubby and naked and had bad hair - three qualities I personally find to be desirable in people as well as children's toys.
Minding my own business and shutting up now...thank you. ....................................................... Hi, luv xoxoxoxo I have been battling a cluster migraine and my poor Twin is having one too. She's going to Saskatchewan (I always want to say "Saskwatchean" with visions of eldritch hirsute magalopods in full RCMP uniforms singing "Rosemarie"). She was going to come and spend a couple of days. Alas,we'll have postpone. Too bad, We usually don't crash until 6:00 am or so and talk of cabbages and kings until exhaustion sets in. Phooey! I'll be writing soon -- Blessings
From: absintheredux
[Green Death]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 18:52
Petone -- Those are three qualities I fully appreciate. Especially when combined upon awakening, on fragrant bucolic mornings. LOL you always manage to tickle my fancies
From: 1stliberal [lib]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 18:58
From: sandywoods [Andrew Woods] Date: 1-Jul-2006 18:37 From: dirtyslut76 [slut] Date: 1-Jul-2006 18:33 sandywoods, can you turn over and take a pic? ------------------------ Great pic sw. I am going for now. I feel like I am ear hustling on the two of you. Carry on bye for now ICLW
From: sandywoods
[Andrew Woods]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 18:59
From: dirtyslut76 [slut] Date: 1-Jul-2006 18:47 I don't like that black box sandy O lord, you have me in stitches ----------------------- I think the "black box" has to stay, because otherwise I could get into trouble with the law here in the United Kingdom.
From: azdollarbill [Jim Jones]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 19:04
When I was a kid, Twinker Bell was one of my favs. I was young & innocent. Now I know...
From: sandywoods
[Andrew Woods]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 19:06
From: dirtyslut76 [slut] Date: 1-Jul-2006 19:00 Sandywoods ciukd you please sent that pic sans black box tom my email? ------------------- ciukd ? sans ?
From: conpassage [petit con]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 19:06
From: eifersuchtzombie [The Zombie] Date: 1-Jul-2006 16:57 conpassage [petit con], I see you mentioned Nova Scotia. Do/Did you live there? I have tons and I mean a TONS of family out there. No, my friend was visiting there when it happened to her. I have no relatives left in that part of the world because my ancestors were Acadian and got deported in 1755, most to the US. tiredoflurking, it's amazing that your addresses over the years match mine, street for street. I lived on all the streets you named, though I imagine not at the same time as you.
From: sandywoods
[Andrew Woods]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 19:18
From: dirtyslut76 [slut] Date: 1-Jul-2006 19:09 <I> ciukd ? sans ?<?I> Just be nude ------------------- I think I will have to draw the line, at having my manhood posted on the Daily Rotten, you will just have to use your imagination (or photoshop).
From: sandywoods
[Andrew Woods]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 19:32
It's gone quiet on here now, where's everyone? Anyway it's 3:44AM here in Britain, and starting to get light again, so I,m off to bed now as I am tired. Goodnight Rotteners.
From: sandywoods
[Andrew Woods]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 19:34
Check out Britains wacky TV licensing laws in the "Mugger squirts out a few" thread. Did you know that you can be jailed in Britain for using a TV without a license?
From: alexthegreat
[My girlfriend doesn't know about my boyfriend]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 19:39
From: tiredoflurking [Sean] Date: 1-Jul-2006 17:19 I'm not proud of my aversion to twinks. I don't know if it is "internalized homophobia", or just that I'm not always the most tolerant person when people are being flighty and bitchy, but I do manage to hide my true feelings in public, even if only by moving away. I vent more to my older friends or in a safe forum like this. alexisgay, if u are a twink, I'd probably still like you in person. You seem to have a lot of interesting things to say. If you showed up at a house party I was attending with a dozen rail thin, eye-brow-plucked, Diesel and Dolce & Gabanna clad, androgynoboyz in tow behind you, that is the only time I'd have a problem. I realize tho' that this is MY problem, not the twinks. I'm not bitchy to them. I wish I could like them, but I don't. I don't like kidneys either, never have, never will. Same thing for hardboiled eggs. I've tried, but can't change. So far. I'll keep trying. ---------------------------------- You're feeding a troll by talking to 'alexisgay' or any one else with a variation of my screen name...
From: baschalove
[TheHostessWithTheMostest]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 19:47
Hi Alex! I've just been scrolling down, half skimming the commentaries. What a weird day in Rotten history. Big Mac and I have been to busy with this sale. Too much shit to do, so I'll have to catch up later, I suppose. I'm reading headlines, waiting for my honey. Did you see OldGit's doggie pictures in the Poo thread?  That was yours. He did an appropriate job, I think. Check out mine and Big Mac's. (Wish they were bigger.)
From: baschalove
[TheHostessWithTheMostest]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 19:49
Hi ICLW! Saw you in here earlier, too busy to post. It's supposed to storm tonight, so I'm waiting for Big Mac to get home, and help me move all our sale stuff back to the garage. My ankle is still fucking with me, now my left leg hurts from trying not to walk on my right foot. Thank god the swelling is going down. Fack!
From: petone9 [petone9]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 20:00
No doubt the progeny of Randolph Scott and a female sasquatch. Jeanette McDonald was just his beard. Professor, you simply must consider teaching a class on "How to get the guy of your dreams on the Internet without really trying..." LOL
From: icanloseweight
[but you'll still be ugly]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 20:01
From: alexthegreat [My girlfriend doesn't know about my boyfriend] Date: 1-Jul-2006 19:58 Hey Alex. How are you? ---------------- I'm in a pretty foul mood right now... I'll try not to take it out on anyone here... Unless they deserve it... How are you? ------------- I'm great. I'm really happy right now! My best friend (who I haven't seen in nearly 7 months) came in town today, so I'll be seeing him on Monday! Yay! Why are you in a foul mood?
From: baschalove
[TheHostessWithTheMostest]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 20:03
Green Death: It happened yesterday as some one was pulling up to the sale. I fell off the bottom step (How brilliant is that?). We were so busy with things, I never got the chance until about 5 hours later. Big Mac had to work, and the kids were gone, so I was on my own. Hobbling up and down the stairs. (We live in a split level ranch home with stairs out front as well...) Big Mac bitched at me, so last night I did finally elevate it, but we had buyers coming through the house today as well, checking out furniture and antiques. As the day progressed, it got worse. I finally, about 6 tonight, layed on the couch and propped it up. The swelling is going down, but my buddy wonders if I didn't tear a ligament or something. No insurance, no xrays! (I really need to marry my man!) Thanks to every one for the concern, by the way. I know I bitch a lot, but who else can I whine to? Thanks guys!
From: sirbutlust
[mike duff]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 20:04
dont worry alexthegreat that someone posts with youre screen name altered. somebody did it to me too. im pretty sure, however i would have made the screen name more like my name because i m not sure how many people besides myself picked up on it. i would have gone with slrbutlust or sirbvtlust or senorbutlust or something like that. whoever did this is also not too creative and assumes im drunk all hte time and make claims like capturing hitler. also they used punctuation in "who'll" when i just go "who ll". they capitilize a lot and that s unlike me too. and structured paragraphs. screw that. i also would nt write usaully three times in a sentence. im anal about that. so allow me to do some advertising for misterassfag. From: misterassfag [Mike Hunt] Date: 29-Jun-2006 21:17 YOuknow, I'm the type of guy who'll just show up and start talking about nothing in particular. Funny thing is that you people seem to love it, so I just come back and keep doing it. Usually, I write my crap while I'm drunk. Usually, I'm drunk. Usually. You can tell how drunk I am at any geven point by the numbger of mISs pellings ina myh posts. I don't let that bother me , though, bevause I'm proundf of my imafge as a complete, doddering retard. ANd I learned a valuable lesson about retards once when I was younger. I won't bore you with te details. Wait, yes I weell. But then I decided, "no, i won't" and that's how I captured HItler.
From: absintheredux
[Green Death]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 20:06
<i>From: petone9 [petone9] Date: 1-Jul-2006 20:00 No doubt the progeny of Randolph Scott and a female sasquatch. Jeanette McDonald was just his beard. Professor, you simply must consider teaching a class on "How to get the guy of your dreams on the Internet without really trying..." LOL </> ........................................... I am afraid that my advice on guys would be purely theoretical LMAO
From: icanloseweight
[but you'll still be ugly]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 20:08
Nasty fight with my parents... And Bobby...
And people feeding the trolls here...
Oh, great, now I feel a headache coming on...
This day just keeps getting worse... -------------- Awww... Sorry that you're having a crappy day.
From: enigma [John]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 20:14
Murphy's Sex Laws 1. The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings. 2. Nothing improves with age. 3. No matter how many times you’ve had it, if it’s offered take it, because it’ll never be quite the same again. 4. Sex has no calories. 5. Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble. 6. There is no remedy for sex but more sex. 7. Sex appeal is 50% what you’ve got and 50% what people think you’ve got. 8. No sex with anyone in the same office. 9. Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last. 10. A man in the house is worth two in the street. 11. If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow. 12. Virginity can be cured. 13. When a man’s wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him. 14. Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself. 15. The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can’t stand years later. 16. Sex is dirty only if it’s done right. 17. It is always the wrong time of month. 18. The best way to hold a man is in your arms. 19. When the lights are out, all women are beautiful. 20. Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won’t either. 21. Sow your wild oats on Saturday night — Then on Sunday pray for crop failure. 22. The younger the better. 23. The game of love is never called off on account of darkness. 24. It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden. 25. Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly. 27. Before you find your handsome prince, you’ve got to kiss a lot of frogs. 28. There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it. 29. Love your neighbor, but don’t get caught. 30. Love is a hole in the heart. 31. If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon. 32. Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics. 33. Do it only with the best. 34. Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning. 35. One good turn gets most of the blankets. 36. You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women. 37. Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. 38. It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. 39. Thou shalt not commit adultery…..unless in the mood. 40. Never lie down with a woman who’s got more troubles than you. 41. Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song. 42. Never argue with a women when she’s tired — or rested. 43. A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn’t. 44. What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick. 45. It is better to be looked over than overlooked. 46. Never say no. 47. A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn’t love her. 48. Folks playing leapfrog must complete all jumps. 49. Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone. 50. Never stand between a fire hydrant and a dog. 51. A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride. 52. Love comes in spurts. 53. The world does not revolve on an axis. 54. Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant. 55. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking. 56. Don’t do it if you can’t keep it up. 57. There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love. 58. Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight. 59. Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another. 60. “This won’t hurt, I promise,”
From: tiredoflurking
[Sean]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 20:25
alexthegreat, I owe you many apologies. I was telling dirtyslut76 that someone was using a similar nick, dildoslut76, in yesterday's "Lightbulb removed from anus" room. I meant to say that alexlegay was a copy of alexthegreat but somewhere between the sweltering heat and a few too many rye & gingers (I'm not a habitual drinker, but I make an exception for big family events. It makes them less stressful.) I deactivated some crucial part of my brain and fucked up big time. Sorry!! There was no alexisgay, just an alexlegay imitating alexthegreat. To keep the Canadian thread going, rye & ginger in Canada is basically your Dad's drink. It has a bad reputation for putting people in a foul mood and leading to a lot of domestic assaults. For me it makes me a little bit silly and giddy, and brings back my lisp. And you DON'T want to know how nelly I looked throwing a frisbee with my nephews. A good rye and ginger requires a good Canadian (rye) whiskey, like Crown Royal or Canadian Club. The ideal mix is "the Champagne of Ginger Ales", Canada Dry, but Schweppes will do in a pinch.
From: tiredoflurking
[Sean]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 20:34
conpassage, I'm not a big TV watcher anymore, except for Discovery and Showcase, and the Movie Network (which shows US HBO series up here), but I'm pretty sure I've recently seen an ad for a movie (with Keanu Reeves? can't remember) and some woman have this connection/affair whey they keep showing up at the same places but separated in time by a decade. Were you the one who stashed the 180 bucks behind the loose baseboard heater cover in my West End Vancouver apartment? If so, thanks! I was working at a waiter and showed up at work to find the place locked up tight. The owners had taken what remained of various investors money, and 3 weeks wages for the staff, and skedaddled. Luckily when you work as a waiter you don't really live off the less than minimum wage that you receive, but money was still tight. I felt bad for someone having lost the money, but damn it came in handy.
From: sevgeli
[Indecent Exposure... the hacker that was...]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 20:35
From: tiredoflurking [Sean] Date: 1-Jul-2006 20:25 To keep the Canadian thread going, rye & ginger in Canada is basically your Dad's drink. It has a bad reputation for putting people in a foul mood and leading to a lot of domestic assaults. For me it makes me a little bit silly and giddy, and brings back my lisp. And you DON'T want to know how nelly I looked throwing a frisbee with my nephews. A good rye and ginger requires a good Canadian (rye) whiskey, like Crown Royal or Canadian Club. The ideal mix is "the Champagne of Ginger Ales", Canada Dry, but Schweppes will do in a pinch. --- "Big weekend night down at the Bojar Grill, I've got decisions to be made between Lager and Ale" ... Kim Mitchell "Oh, the girls are out to bingo and the boys are gettin' stinko and we'll think no more of Inco on a Sudbury Saturday Night..." ... Stompin' Tom Connors I'm partial to an Upper Canada Brown Ale myself... but can still remember Molson Diamond and Brador with great fondness... .ie.
From: enigma [John]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 20:42
 11. If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow. 14. Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself. 30. Love is a hole in the heart. 31. If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon. 40. Never lie down with a woman who’s got more troubles than you. 42. Never argue with a women when she’s tired — or rested. 57. There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love. ‘Sigh’ too true.
From: tiredoflurking
[Sean]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 20:43
alexthegreat, we do things differently up here than down your way. Up here the drinking age varies from province to province. In Ontario, where I live, it is 19, but it is 18 in Quebec to our east, AND, I believe in Manitoba to our west. It is also 18 in Alberta. I'm not sure of the other places. I think your states also have the right to set individual drinking ages. When I was a kid I remember my older sisters going on road trips over the 1000 Islands bridge in northern New York to drink at the bars in Alexandria Bay where the drinking age was only 18. Wasn't there some thing where your federal government coerced the states into adopting a common 21 y.o. drinking age by threatening to withhold money for interstate highways or some other expensive program from states that didn't comply?
From: sevgeli
[Indecent Exposure... the hacker that was...]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 20:48
... and I don't know why the song is suddenly stuck in my head - probably the exposure to it from a formative age... playing summer hockey up in Etobicoke... having it on every Sabres broadcast... "Just say OV... add an "L" and an "E" and you've got LOVE... love OV... love that Old Vienna Lager... that Old Vienna Lager Beer... there's a reason it's so pleasin' - it's great Canadian beer! Just say OV Just say OV and you've got Old Vienna Lager Beer" --- we used to buy the cases of splits and just douse em with ice and stand on em while we watched the bands in the bars - back in the day... ah... happy times... happy times... .ie.
From: alexthegreat
[My girlfriend doesn't know about my boyfriend]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 20:49
Wasn't there some thing where your federal government coerced the states into adopting a common 21 y.o. drinking age by threatening to withhold money for interstate highways or some other expensive program from states that didn't comply? ------------------------ ... I don't know... Oh well, so much for stealing the car and skipping across the border for booze... I'll just have to wait for my dad to stop being mad at me... Or I could steal some from the cabinet...
From: absintheredux
[Green Death]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 21:17
From: tiredoflurking [Sean]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 20:43
Wasn't there some thing where your federal government coerced the states into adopting a common 21 y.o. drinking age by threatening to withhold money for interstate highways or some other expensive program from states that didn't comply? ................................................. You got it! Louisiana was the last hold out. So much for States' rights. Both major parties invoke them when and only when if it convenient for them. Hypocritical cozen-faced Tartuffes!
From: petone9 [petone9]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 21:26
Green Death, I beg to differ! It is rumored that you have received at least one marriage proposal online after you spoke of your passion for firearms. A man besotted, with no effort on your part at all. You have a gift...LMAO Speaking of rumors... Sirbutlust, there are published reports that you have been named respondent in a paternity suit filed by Anna Nicole Smith. Any comments?
From: sevgeli
[Indecent Exposure... the hacker that was...]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 21:35
From: absintheredux [Green Death] Date: 1-Jul-2006 21:17 From: tiredoflurking [Sean] Date: 1-Jul-2006 20:43 Wasn't there some thing where your federal government coerced the states into adopting a common 21 y.o. drinking age by threatening to withhold money for interstate highways or some other expensive program from states that didn't comply? ................................................. You got it! Louisiana was the last hold out. So much for States' rights. Both major parties invoke them when and only when if it convenient for them. Hypocritical cozen-faced Tartuffes! --- 'tis true... so much for our much-ballyhooed "States rights" provisions... Federal Highway money has been dangled as a carrot four times in the last 30 years... first - it was the 55 mph speed limit during the 70's gas crisis... second - it was the manditory seat-belt law provision... third - the drinking age increase to 21 years... fourth - the 0.10 blood alcohol content standard for DWI offenses... now, granted - the 55mph speed limit was tossed out as unworkable as soon as gas began to flood the market again in the 80's and some states have gone even more extreme on the DWI blood alcohol level (some now set it at .80... and may go even lower)... but the point is... the individual States are being held up at the point of a gun to adopt standards that the Feds impose - at the risk of losing funds that were originally paid collectively by the taxpayers of the individual States... States' Rights, my ass... it's not a democracy... it's not even a republic... it's a tautology... and it's imposed - with pen and checkbook in hand... .ie.
From: doczzz
[dwarf fusion]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 21:39
From: rocco [I'm the funny man!]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 21:04
Goddamn, everyone is in a pissy mood around here! Light one up, already, and chill! ********************* You're right...Today is chore day, which I despise with a passion. I keep checking in for some interesting debates, but everybody just seems to be bitching indiscriminately or navel gazing. I'm going to go pig out on Japanese food. That always improves my mood. Later.
From: tiredoflurking
[Sean]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 21:45
The funny thing is that our government did the same thing in the sphere of which Canadians are most fervently emotionally invested, socialized universal medical care. In our constitution, health falls under the jurisdiction of the provinces, but the federal government uses the Canada Health Act and its power to redistribute funds from federal taxes to keep the provinces in line. They only get the money if they adhere to the provisions, which are basically meant to keep the private aspects of basic medical care to a minimum and also to allow Canadian citizens to be able to get care in a province other than the one they live in. There are still some major discrepancies in what procedures are covered from province to province, and it can be pretty tricky if you get sick in a province not your own when travelling.
From: baschalove
[TheHostessWithTheMostest]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 22:17
A point that always bothered me: You can vote at 18 You can marry at 18 You can smoke at 18 You can serve in the military at 18 But you can't knock back a few beers with your friends? Mind you, there are irresponsible people at any age. But if we can send our kids off to foreign countries with assault rifles and a kill or be killed mentality, is drinking so bad?
From: sevgeli
[Indecent Exposure... the hacker that was...]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 22:26
From: petone9 [petone9] Date: 1-Jul-2006 21:26 Green Death, I beg to differ! It is rumored that you have received at least one marriage proposal online after you spoke of your passion for firearms. A man besotted, with no effort on your part at all. You have a gift...LMAO Speaking of rumors... --- Methinks the comment above was ill-informed - to say the least... ... in order to "beg to differ" - ie: take a position opposite one that has already been stated - someone has to make clear statement that is in direct opposition to a point of view which you hold... based on the current thread - this is not the case. the topic and your interjection were completely divergent - there wasn't the slightest chance that one might even be tangentally connected to the other... score: -5 for a non-factual premise and -5 for improper use of a trite phrase - to whit: "beg to differ" - an overused colloquial; frequently misunderstood and an obvious attempt to aspire to a level of intellect not represented by the remaining commentary. ... "it is rumored" - once again, a misstatement of the facts at hand. Indeed, it may be that such a remark was made within the forums that you are obviously using as a reference for your comment. If so... then it isn't a rumor at all... whether made in jest or as an offer in fact does not apply - your assertion that it is a rumor is plainly false... score: -5 for accuracy ... "besotted" - once again, we note a poor attempt towards a proof - using archaic or deprecated language forms in the vain hope that it establishes a superior postion or an impression of intellectual prowess. Considering the "LMAO" which trails the former, one can't help but point out the obvious. score: -5 for phony British affectations and -5 for straying out of character ... at a 12th grade level, which is making a huge assumption based on the facts at hand, I'm taking off 25 points as noted above - and another 10 points for the presumption shown by the post as is. 65 points is hardly a passing grade, young man... see me after class .ie.
From: dittyd [dittyd]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 22:40
hello everybody, I haven't been around in a while. Just wanted to say piss off you monkey loving pigs, or hows everybody? d
From: frogprincess [Frog Princess]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 22:49
Hello, everyone! Hello, Alex, and Hellen, if you're still on!
From: dittyd [dittyd]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 22:52
Hey Froggy How's that yeast infection working out for ya! d
From: absintheredux
[Green Death]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 22:53
From: sevgeli [Indecent Exposure... the hacker that was...] My very dear friend Miz Petone (not exactly a young man), was teasing me as we customarily do. Yes we do enjoy amusing each other by "using archaic or deprecated language forms" as well as superannuated Shakespearean invectives. We have neither desire nor burning need to impress anyone (even when among people worth impressing) and we would do a more than adequate job of "grading" ourselves, were we to so desire. Of course, I am sure your post was all done in the same spirit of fun and frolic as the one I have just written. There, we can now all appreciate each others' wit and sense of the comical
From: absintheredux
[Green Death]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 23:01
Hellen? Does it ever occur to you how exquisitely bizarre it is for us to talk to one another across the antipodes with "glass typewriters", in synchronicity while out clocks tell different times and often not the same date? It fucking bloody blots my mind LOL
From: frogprincess [Frog Princess]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 23:34
"Alas," quoth Horatio, "I must giveth up that quality which no man can ever, having lost, replace; namely, my carefully guarded virtue, to the love that dareth not speak its name; namely, buggery." To which his young lover tartly replied, "Shut the fuck up, I ain't paying you by the hour. Bitch." And stretched him around his massive, turgid rod so that the boy was like a condom with legs and arms poking off, waggling to and fro in a manner most pitiful. Stung by the hot insult, the cheeks of the unfortunate submissive flushed and moistened with salty tears. Then, all of a sudden, the much smaller boy's head popped off as a veritable sea of that pearly brine in which all human lives have swum, at one time or another, when they were yet still halved and but little more than a head and a tail; namely, sperm, issued from the tip of the larger boy's penis in a magnificent climax; namely, an orgasm, which filled the marble bedchamber with so much lustrous seed that the scandalous lad who was the source of these romantic indiscretions floated up towards the ceiling, and being a pansy, drowned.
From: frogprincess [Frog Princess]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 23:37
That's my contribution to the old-fashioned language kick. I just want ya'll to know that I might not get online again for the next few weeks, but I love you all.
From: sevgeli
[Indecent Exposure... the hacker that was...]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 23:39
From: absintheredux [Green Death] Date: 1-Jul-2006 22:53 >> Yes we do enjoy amusing each other by "using archaic or deprecated language >> forms" as well as superannuated Shakespearean invectives. We have neither >> desire nor burning need to impress anyone ahhh... but we do stand impressed... 'tis not an ordinary day in the land of Rotten that we get the opportunity to trade in witty banter... (and yes, under the circumstances, I am invoking the royal "we" - since we are only jesting amongst ourselves) >> (even when among people worth impressing) I could hardly presume to be included in such a select group... I try not to impress, only to amuse... >> and we would do a more than adequate job of "grading" ourselves, >> were we to so desire. In all honesty - and with all due respect - if we keep up with the "we's" every time we refer to ourselves in this and any future post... our royal we is going to get so conditioned that we're gonna need the royal chamberpot for a wee... >> Of course, I am sure your post was all done in the same spirit of fun and >> frolic as the one I have just written. You may be making a bigger assumption than I'd be willing to admit to... but in the spirit of a proferred olive branch - far be it for me to say "no". Though my motives may have been pure, I certainly meant no offense to you... and had I known... someone you consider a friend. Consider me contrite... but under the circumstances, somewhat unrepentant. >> There, we can now all appreciate each others' wit and sense of the comical Of course we can. But if I hear another "we" in the next hour or so, I swear that subliminal influence will cause me to rush - Pavlovian-like - to the nearest necessary. Now... are we all good? (OMG - I'm channeling Monty Python and the Knights of Ni! You said it... Don't Say it... Oh, I said it again!) peace, .ie.
From: baschalove
[TheHostessWithTheMostest]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 23:43
I see I've missed quite a bit in my absence... I have so many things on my plate, I tend to do four things at once. Fack! I'll be so glad once we settle in Jacksonville. I'll be able to breath again!
From: absintheredux
[Green Death]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 23:45
<i>From: frogprincess [Frog Princess] Date: 1-Jul-2006 23:37 That's my contribution to the old-fashioned language kick. I just want ya'll to know that I might not get online again for the next few weeks, but I love you all. <i> ............................................. A fine post indeed! I hope you have a most intersting time You will be missed.
From: frogprincess [Frog Princess]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 23:49
Awwww, you guys are awesome.
From: baschalove
[TheHostessWithTheMostest]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 23:51
Green Death: Many fine greetings! (Again... thanks for the concern.) It feels better tonight (the ankle). I hope you took no offence to my amusement with Sevgeli's banter. I never thought for a moment it was directed at you. (If it was, I lost that point somewhere.) Hope all is well with you and yours. Big Mac and I will be offline after the 5th. (I think... The phone, therefore the internet, will be off as of then, we think ) So, until we meet again?
From: frogprincess [Frog Princess]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 00:03
Eek. You are a waitress, from what I can tell, and you have hurt your ankle. My sympathies, Bascha.
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 00:04
Oddsplut ! green death,thy postings containeth,so it doth appear,the addled musing of an imbiber of intemperate proportion. Hast thou,perchance,partaken of the fruits of Bacchus to a more than sensible degree ? Hi froggy,nice story,was Horatio's surname Hornblower by an chance ?
From: baschalove
[TheHostessWithTheMostest]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 00:08
I'm going to miss the Rotten Army! There is a certain fufillment (sp? too lazy for spell check) to reading the daily responses! Gypsy Napthali Sevgeli Green Death Davey Theo Alex Doczzz OldGit Kyotay McNastie (yes, Allang) ICLW Cheesegrits STFU (I'm thinking, gimme a minute!) Conspiracy - Who has been scarce, BTW Ballsack Hellen Carol Danzil PenguinsRock BlahBlahBlowme Sally RoboJesus SexiBiPuss MikeIsGreen SandyWoods (Of course) OldGit TurdBlossom Dittyd (How could I forget?) Stephy Cracker Vikmaster And last but not least: DirtySlut. You will all be missed. But only temporarily. We shall return! We're not going as of yet, but our days are limited!
From: frogprincess [Frog Princess]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 00:12
Oh, no, Horatio was the boy's last name. His first name started with an A, but I cannot put my finger on what it was.... Nevertheless, we mustn't take our sights off of the issue at hand, which is sticky and high in protein and hard to get out of furniture if you do not get it on time.
From: dittyd [dittyd]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 00:15
I was going to get really pissed of if you forgot me. but you didn't. how's the move coming along d
From: sevgeli
[Indecent Exposure... the hacker that was...]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 00:18
We're out... (ahem) - ok... I'm out... (I have to stop with that royal "we" shit or I'm going to start sounding like the Anglophile that I'm trying not to be... Bascha: take care of the hurts... and get some rest! BTW... I know that park in Mayville... with all the kids running round it on the 4th, that flask will come in handy! Be well... Green Death: in the spirit - and per a previous conversation... reloadbench.com - they have a decent database and forum for the older stuff - repro ammo - low pressure rounds - it's a good source for stuff like the 45-70 et al... and have a safe 4th! and with that... exit - stage left .ie.
From: baschalove
[TheHostessWithTheMostest]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 00:20
dittyd: The move is moving along. So much to do, so little time! Don't know if you read, but I jacked up my ankle (Fell off the bottom step, duh!) So I'm moving slower than usual! We sold a guy our Aiwa Receiver... His neighbor kid helped him bring it in, the kid dropped it down 2 flights of stairs. He came back and bought the Jenson! (Shitty luck, I suppose!) Big Mac is off the next 2 days, so he has now become my new mule! (He loves the thought! Let me tell ya!) GOD!! I'm being bombarded with moths! Teach me to leave the windows and doors open! Muggy as fuck here tonight. Can't sleep again! FACK! (I love that word!)
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 00:21
bascha,good luck with the move (god do I hate moving) froggy,what can I say,seman stains are best removed while fresh,with a little water,but if decorating your room in that way appeals,what the hell.
From: baschalove
[TheHostessWithTheMostest]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 00:26
I know it's out of character for me to talk sex shit, but a friend of mine once said: Cum smells like Funions: They're an onion ring shaped chip that (IMHO) smell like shit! She said... smell an empty bag and tell me if you don't agree. I could never make it to the bottom of a bag! I wonder what her boyfriend was eating!
From: frogprincess [Frog Princess]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 00:34
funyuns? Her boyfriend was probably some grotesque thing that lived off of bloomin' onions. I only really have to wash cum off of a third of my possessions because everything I own is made of faggy velvet, black leather, or metal. For the latter two, licking does just fine.
From: frogprincess [Frog Princess]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 00:45
From: baschalove [TheHostessWithTheMostest] Date: 2-Jul-2006 00:36 FrogPrincess: Has anyone ever told you your gross? _______________________ Oh, thank you, gorgeous! I'm flattered. After all, I am an oogy frog, and you are a lovely girl.
From: dittyd [dittyd]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 00:47
I moved twice in the last two years. Basha, there is nothing I hate worst then a move. God speed babe. Soon you you will be resting comfortably in your new nest with mac and all will will be a just a bad memory. trust me. d
From: frogprincess [Frog Princess]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 00:59
Hey, Dirtyslut. I use pickup lines. The worse the better. My favorite one is, "buy me a drink" for the chicks and "You must have fallen from heaven- that's gotta be what happened to your face" for more chicks. For the guys, I say, "is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see my face in your pants."
From: merrillvillain
[yeah ........ that merrillville]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 01:03
From: frogprincess [Frog Princess] Date: 2-Jul-2006 00:34 funyuns? Her boyfriend was probably some grotesque thing that lived off of bloomin' onions. I only really have to wash cum off of a third of my possessions because everything I own is made of faggy velvet, black leather, or metal. For the latter two, licking does just fine. If you are referring to crushed velvet let me tell you that it makes one hell of an interior on any car
From: baschalove
[TheHostessWithTheMostest]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 01:04
Dittyd: I've been building my little empire for 15 years. I know to a lot of the old timers here, that doesn't sound bad, but try to part with things you've had for years! I remember seeing something about an armchair (Family Guy, maybe?) that the wife tried to sell... He turned around and found a holey (sp?) shirt, and a bowling pin that he hid in the house... That's how I feel! It's hard to part with 'yer stuff... I sent all the important stuff with the ex-husband today. Thank goodness we're cool like that. All my family is dead, and Big Mac's Bro in this area just went though a divorce. Fack!! No where to squirrel stuff away! WTF is a girl to do? Sell it! Sell it all! 
From: frogprincess [Frog Princess]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 01:09
And I'm so damn charming the pick-up lines work anyway. My charm is innate. I can dance as badly as I want, say stupid shit, come on too strong, step on their feet, slap them in public, it only makes them desire me more.
From: baschalove
[TheHostessWithTheMostest]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 01:13
OK, all! I'm off to bed. Gotta sleep. Morning buyers are the worst! (Bitchy church crowd tomorrow!) We'll check in periodically. (That's a threat, not a promise.) See everyone tomorrow. (It's not tomorrow until I wake up! Nice theory to kid myself with! )
From: dirtyslut76
[slut]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 01:14
frogprincess I am not one for using pickup lines at bars EVERY guy I have dated from the bars, it has been a disaster the song "detachable penis" is on now Hi d, hostess, MV and anyone I might've missed....well fuck you
From: dittyd [dittyd]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 01:14
Basha I used to do moves when I was student. I swear to you, you could always feel the tension in the air. You could cut it with a knife. I wish I could help, but I know I can't, so I send you you and big mac my best wishes and a smile. it's the best I can do, d
From: dirtyslut76
[slut]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 01:18
Oh when i had moved out my parent's house My dad stumbled upon my "weed drawer" a bag of weed, papers, two bowls and a mini-bong with a skull face on it
From: frogprincess [Frog Princess]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 01:21
Bascha, you should just dump it all at the Salvage Nation Army. Getting rid of your dead layer of possessions is liberating, like ripping a scab off. It is one of the best parts of moving all of a sudden after a long time. Another great part is finding old pictures you forgot you ever took/drew of yourself that fell behind the bed or in the bottom fo the closet. Merrillvillian, you are right about that sexy crushed velvet. God, I love the feel of those car seats shoved roughly against my back, especially if my head is hitting the cold, steamed-up glass of a back seat window on a dark night.
From: frogprincess [Frog Princess]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 01:25
It is a kind of primate, I believe it's called something like the "ruffed tamarind" or "lion tamarind".
From: merrillvillain
[yeah ........ that merrillville]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 01:26
Merrillvillian, you are right about that sexy crushed velvet. God, I love the feel of those car seats shoved roughly against my back, especially if my head is hitting the cold, steamed-up glass of a back seat window on a dark night. I used to upholster all of my old cars i owned my favourite (UK spelling) interior involved a dark red crushed velvet with a cranberry pleated-velour interior
From: dittyd [dittyd]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 01:27
Froggy, are you naked... if not, why not? d
From: dittyd [dittyd]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 01:29
I love now only my pillow, ds. sad but true, d
From: frogprincess [Frog Princess]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 01:30
Don't be upset, Dirtyslut. I told you, I just have this effect. I can't help it.
From: merrillvillain
[yeah ........ that merrillville]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 01:32
From: dittyd [dittyd] Date: 2-Jul-2006 01:27 Froggy, are you naked... if not, why not? d From: dirtyslut76 [slut] Date: 2-Jul-2006 01:27 d I thought I was your only love in tears now cascading down my cheeks very sad now and angry Like grains of sand through the hourglass these are the Days of our Lives
From: dirtyslut76
[slut]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 01:32
 Oh lord Catholic guilt when I was little used to have a relative that watched me when I would misbehave he would tell me "Jesus is crying" It worked for a little while how fucked up is that?
From: dittyd [dittyd]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 01:37
I just farted and sneezed at the same time... it really hurt. I shit you not... d
From: dirtyslut76
[slut]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 01:40
oh d e-mail me one of your fave ee cummings poems thank you for again arousing my interest in poetry again sorry your pillow is your best friend my vibrator is my best friend MV sweet corn time soon, baby frogprincess you have never told the story how you had helped save someones life and fuck a freak all in the same day unless it was on another thread
From: frogprincess [Frog Princess]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 01:42
Alas, just when things are getting interesting, I must go. I am driving all day and all night tomorrow, and I must sleep now. Everybody have a marvellous evening, and if I do not come on Rotten for another few weeks, it will be because I will not have enough internet access to achieve full arousal. -Slimy snuggles and cold wet kisses!- Ribbit. -Goes hopping away.-
From: dittyd [dittyd]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 01:45
my favorite ee cummings's I dedicate it to you somewhere i have never travelled,gladly beyond any experience,your eyes have their silence: in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me, or which i cannot touch because they are too near your slightest look easily will unclose me though i have closed myself as fingers, you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens (touching skillfully,mysteriously)her first rose or if your wish be to close me,i and my life will shut very beautifully,suddenly, as when the heart of this flower imagines the snow carefully everywhere descending; nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals the power of your intense fragility:whose texture compels me with the colour of its countries, rendering death and forever with each breathing (i do not know what is is about you that closes and opens; only something in me understands the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses) nobody,not even the rain,has such small hands ---- d
From: dirtyslut76
[slut]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 01:54
From: merrillvillain [yeah ........ that merrillville]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 01:49
dittyd,ds76 and my wonderful
self all alone on a free for all ? let's have a 3-some
From: dittyd [dittyd]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 01:55
Somewhere I have never tavelled... ds I'm still waiting to hear from you babe, send me something I'm drunk as shit and I have to say merryl bores the crap out of me, always has can he stop posting? d
From: dirtyslut76
[slut]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 01:58
From: dittyd [dittyd] Date: 2-Jul-2006 01:55 Somewhere I have never tavelled... ds I'm still waiting to hear from you babe, send me something I'm drunk as shit and I have to say merryl bores the crap out of me, always has can he stop posting? d ------------------- I'd emailed you the other day can you IM me
From: merrillvillain
[yeah ........ that merrillville]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 02:08
From: dittyd [dittyd] Date: 2-Jul-2006 01:55 Somewhere I have never tavelled... ds I'm still waiting to hear from you babe, send me something I'm drunk as shit and I have to say merryl bores the crap out of me, always has can he stop posting? d I am at a loss of words DittyD i know merryl has not tavelled as many places as you
From: sandywoods
[Andrew Woods]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 02:19
From: baschalove [TheHostessWithTheMostest] Date: 1-Jul-2006 22:17 A point that always bothered me: You can vote at 18 You can marry at 18 You can smoke at 18 You can serve in the military at 18 But you can't knock back a few beers with your friends? Mind you, there are irresponsible people at any age. But if we can send our kids off to foreign countries with assault rifles and a kill or be killed mentality, is drinking so bad? ------------------------- In Britain You can vote at 18 You can marry at 16 (with parents consent) You can smoke at 16 You can serve in the military at 16 or is it 17? And you can knock back a few beers with your friends at 18 (this law is not strictly enforced, so if you do get caught drinking underage, you just get the drink confiscated and a warning)
From: sandywoods
[Andrew Woods]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 02:44
From: merrillvillain [yeah ........ that merrillville] Date: 2-Jul-2006 02:26 Sandywoods tell me something good ? -------------------- England are out of the world cup football 2006, and I,m well chuffed! http://tinyurl.com/qtva9
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 02:56
Oooh sandywoods,you nasty bitter Welsh person you.Poor England,poor poor England (and my God were they ever poor).Ah well,2010 will be our year.(HA HA)
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 03:10
merrillvillain,enjoy you canadian fag beer,I'm off to throw bottles of piss at Welsh people (it's a local sport). Remember,we are always watching.
From: merrillvillain
[yeah ........ that merrillville]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 03:14
From: kurekuretakora [oldgit] Date: 2-Jul-2006 03:10 merrillvillain,enjoy you canadian fag beer,I'm off to throw bottles of piss at Welsh people (it's a local sport). Remember,we are always watching. Personally i hate coors light because it taste like dingo piss in a bottle and it is just plain awful Have you been deputized by the MVPD yet ? I would love to throw a bottle at Catherine Zeta-Jones
From: rottenaddict
[Hellen]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 03:50
Thanks for that Merrillvillain. You are very hot and cold. I will e-mail you back soon. How is the heatwave? It is nice and cold where I am. No doubt my car will have trouble from the ice tomorrow. We have a love/hate relationship, my car and I. I love it...it hates me.
From: rectalfissure
[Yea I am an Asshole so what?]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 04:24
From: merrillvillain [yeah ........ that merrillville] Date: 2-Jul-2006 04:19 From: rectalfissure [Yea I am an Asshole so what?] Date: 2-Jul-2006 04:15 Good Morning all I am a newby been lurking in the shadows for a while and thought I would join in Welcome to rotten your name sucks and your mother is a whore Oh really! Well fuck you and anybody that looks likes you merrivillian
From: merrillvillain
[yeah ........ that merrillville]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 04:30
From: rectalfissure [Yea I am an Asshole so what?] Date: 2-Jul-2006 04:24 From: merrillvillain [yeah ........ that merrillville] Date: 2-Jul-2006 04:19 From: rectalfissure [Yea I am an Asshole so what?] Date: 2-Jul-2006 04:15 Good Morning all I am a newby been lurking in the shadows for a while and thought I would join in Welcome to rotten your name sucks and your mother is a whore Oh really! Well fuck you and anybody that looks likes you merrivillian There you go i am glad you have the balls to go tell me to go fuck myself i apologize for the whole mother is a whore thing Peace pipe ?
From: rottenaddict
[Hellen]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 04:30
From: merrillvillain [yeah ........ that merrillville] Date: 2-Jul-2006 04:22 Hellen is quite the exquisite young lady *************** Thanks for the sarcasm Merrill. You are quite the gentleman.
From: merrillvillain
[yeah ........ that merrillville]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 04:34
From: rottenaddict [Hellen] Date: 2-Jul-2006 04:30 From: merrillvillain [yeah ........ that merrillville] Date: 2-Jul-2006 04:22 Hellen is quite the exquisite young lady *************** Thanks for the sarcasm Merrill. You are quite the gentleman I am not being sarcastic Hellen You and a few other posters are truly the wind beneath my wings
From: allang
[Lord Pavesini]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 04:37
 Aux armes, citoyens,
Formez vos bataillons,
Marchons, marchons!
Qu'un sang impur
Abreuve nos sillons! At least this will stop all the pundits masturbating every time Brazil makes a one yard pass. Yes folks, once again, Europe has shown that is better at JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING. 
From: merrillvillain
[yeah ........ that merrillville]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 04:38
From: rectalfissure [Yea I am an Asshole so what?] Date: 2-Jul-2006 04:32 Apology accepted I would not call it a "apology" per se more along the lines that we both accept the fact your mother is a whore and we can both live with it Deal ?
From: rectalfissure
[Yea I am an Asshole so what?]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 04:50
From: merrillvillain [yeah ........ that merrillville] Date: 2-Jul-2006 04:47 From: rectalfissure [Yea I am an Asshole so what?] Date: 2-Jul-2006 04:40 In that case why don't you go smoke your own piece pipe? Come on now - stop being so insensitive newby ? insensitive? i thought this was the normal discourse on this forum I am just trying to be a good rotteneer
From: rottenaddict
[Hellen]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 04:55
That is okay rectalfissure. It is just merrillvillain's way of flirting with you. I am going to bed shortly though. I am really tired. Have to get up early tomorrow. btw my e mail is in my bio. You can drop me a line whenever you feel like it.
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 04:55
Something about rectalfissure seems a tad familiar.Oh wait,yes that's right I have one.Silly old fool that I am I quite forgot he shit dribbling from my holy arse.
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 04:57
allang,fine sentiments ideed (but perhaps not best illustrated by the two gay frogs cuddling) Were you aware of the other Maltese rotteneer,he popped up the other day when "scruffy" was praising Malta.?
From: merrillvillain
[yeah ........ that merrillville]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 04:59
Relax ....... everybody knows my opinions/thoughts are borderline nonsense or a combination of mid-western anecdotes that involve pills/booze/weed/ or something else that cost more than ten bucks but less than 2 chili dogs at the local Dairy Queen
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 05:00
rectal,always nice to have a fresh face (arse) on rotten.Truth is it is getting a bit lame of late what with backward welshmen,retarded canadians and imbecilic americans.Where do you hail from may I enquire as to ask ?
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 05:02
merillvillian,drinking canadian beer and dining at "dairy queen".I am begining to have my doubts about you.Perhaps the MVPD vice squad need to be alerted.
From: rectalfissure
[Yea I am an Asshole so what?]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 05:02
Relax ....... everybody knows my opinions/thoughts are borderline nonsense or a combination of mid-western anecdotes that involve pills/booze/weed/ or something else that cost more than ten bucks but less than 2 chili dogs at the local Dairy Queen hehehe I am relaxed.... just having some fun
From: allang
[Lord Pavesini]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 05:05
Another Maltese rotteneer? Highly unlikely. My countrymen don't have the necessary IQ to string two words together, much less summon up the gumption and fortitude to post on this forum. Give me proof.
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 05:07
Texas hmm,that kind of sounds familiar,it's like the scrotum of America right?Sort of dangles below Arizona and New Mexico.Home of savage armadildos,roky erickson,the butthole surfers and waaaay to may rotteneers. Bit of a Brokeback theme to that state if you don't mind me saying "panhandle" "big bend" "longhorn" all quite gay words I think.
From: rectalfissure
[Yea I am an Asshole so what?]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 05:11
From: kurekuretakora [oldgit] Date: 2-Jul-2006 05:07 Texas hmm,that kind of sounds familiar,it's like the scrotum of America right?Sort of dangles below Arizona and New Mexico.Home of savage armadildos,roky erickson,the butthole surfers and waaaay to may rotteneers. Bit of a Brokeback theme to that state if you don't mind me saying "panhandle" "big bend" "longhorn" all quite gay words I think. Think what ever you want Texas doesn't really dangle not like florida. I will agree that it seems to have more than its share of scrotes
From: allang
[Lord Pavesini]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 05:12
Why thank you, rectalfissure. As Irving Stone once said, 'Bleed me of art, and there will not be enough left for me to spit!' I shall now proceed to cut off my ear. *Snip Snip*
From: scruffytakora [zammitdammit]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 05:13
Good morning allang,yes indeed surprising that a dweller on the lovely island of Malta would stoop so low as to post on this evil site (your good self excluded of course) The gentleman concerned was sandblast (adrian) claiming to be from somewhere call San Gwann and a dental technician according to his bio. Perhaps you know him ?
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 05:19
Well,like I care about Tejas anyway,soon gonna be part of Mexico,how you'all gonna feel when the little latin lupe lu's are running all over the Alamo,pissing on Davey Crockett's furry hat ?
From: merrillvillain
[yeah ........ that merrillville]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 05:21
From: kurekuretakora [oldgit] Date: 2-Jul-2006 05:16 merrillviilliiaann,I ain't calling you a imbecile you moron,what are you some kind of idiot with a dictionary ? Dolt. you claim you are watching me so i had to bring out the Merriam-Webster
From: rectalfissure
[Yea I am an Asshole so what?]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 05:24
From: kurekuretakora [oldgit] Date: 2-Jul-2006 05:19 Well,like I care about Tejas anyway,soon gonna be part of Mexico,how you'all gonna feel when the little latin lupe lu's are running all over the Alamo,pissing on Davey Crockett's furry hat ? if yo uare attempting to speak texan it is ya'll. we will take care of the (latin lupe lu's)? if needed, and it is a coon skin cap
From: merrillvillain
[yeah ........ that merrillville]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 05:29
From: kurekuretakora [oldgit] Date: 2-Jul-2006 05:23 Bring out your Funk n Wagnel merrillvillian,always we watch and wait American hot dogs are easily the nastiest mainstream meat Americans eat on a daily basis Dont get me started on Chorizo I love a pigs salivary glands mixed with eggs and paprika
From: rectalfissure
[Yea I am an Asshole so what?]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 05:30
From: kurekuretakora [oldgit] Date: 2-Jul-2006 05:27 As in the phrase "some damn nigga fucked my racbadger" See no one could take offence at that. i'll keep that in mind after all I would'nt want to be politically incorrect
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 05:30
Dear me,I have just realised I used the word "nigga" but I am not a gangsta rapper so I am not allowed to as it is rude.I shall substitute the word nougat instead so the phrase should read "some nougat fucked my racbadger" Whew,I think I got away with that one.
From: allang
[Lord Pavesini]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 05:32
A 'dental technician'? He's a fucking dentist, and let him be happy with that. There are way too many dentists on this goddamned island anyway.
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 05:34
Damn,I probably shouldn't say "fucked" on a Sunday either. Last go "Dash it all some nougat has intercoursed my racbadger" There,much better.
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 05:36
allang,goes to show what a small world it is eh ? Guess what,in researching Malta I discovered that Pace is a very common Maltese surname and guess what ? That's right MY grandmother's unmarried name was Pace,we could be related.
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 05:44
rectalfissure,my Tejas sounds a fascinating place,I have found out that your state cooking implement is "the cast iron Dutch oven" your state health nut is the pecan and your state shrub is the "crape myrtle" So that makes at least 2 "crape" bushes that come from Texas.
From: rectalfissure
[Yea I am an Asshole so what?]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 05:46
From: kurekuretakora [oldgit] Date: 2-Jul-2006 05:44 rectalfissure,my Tejas sounds a fascinating place,I have found out that your state cooking implement is "the cast iron Dutch oven" your state health nut is the pecan and your state shrub is the "crape myrtle" So that makes at least 2 "crape" bushes that come from Texas. That must be one "old" text book yous must have gotten when you were a youngster
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 05:55
Mind you Massacheusscetrs (or however you spell it) is EVEN MORE fascinating.They have a state cookie (chocolate chip) a state drink (cranberry juice) a state bean (navy) and even a state muffin (corn muffin). Good to know the legislators keep themselves busy.
From: merrillvillain
[yeah ........ that merrillville]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 05:58
Considering it is the fourth of july weekend I am prepared for a pro-USA rant and explain why the USA is a kick-ass nation All of the worlds pre-dominant religions are based upon Christianity, Judaism, and a Muslim faith that was founded upon the cradle of civilization (Tigres and Euphrates rivers) Thousands of years later a new nation was born that was supposedly founded upon a newfound freedom of religious beliefs this nation because of a solid core of mixed nationalities became a great nation that learned how to cook
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 06:00
Amazingly the state disease of Arkansas is "goat rub" state soft drink of Idaho is Dr Pepper and state prostitute of Alaska is Nome "Red" state beer of Canada is Moosesons state protein on Delaware is octopus semen and state wart of Oklahoma is "the wart" America is soo interesting.
From: naphtali
[Naphtali]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 06:05
From: kurekuretakora [oldgit]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 05:07
Texas hmm,that kind of sounds familiar,it's like the scrotum of America right?Sort of dangles below Arizona and New Mexico.Home of savage armadillos,roky erickson,the butthole surfers and waaaay to may rotteneers.
Bit of a Brokeback theme to that state if you don't mind me saying "panhandle" "big bend" "longhorn" all quite gay words I think. +++ My eyes are barely open [yawn] and I read such irony... First, the "Brokeback" shit is Montana, Dambit! You know they're just rifle shot from California...? ie, the CA refugees find a bit of a haven there when they get tired of the asinine Rules of Social Engagement. ===================== From: rectalfissure [Yea I am an Asshole so what?] Date: 2-Jul-2006 05:11 ...Texas doesn't really dangle not like florida. I will agree that it seems to have more than its share of scrotes +++ Second, that reminds me of a toon I saw in an underground comic book about 30 years ago. Imagine, a cartoon map of the USA and a little balloon the captioned: "Hey Europe, eat my Florida!" LOL. ===================== The rebuttal to all Texas bashing is the fact that citizens of the rest of this country have been sneaking in here for years, just like the Mexicans... ...Looking for a better life. That says everything about Texas! When was the last time you read of a Texan sneaking under the fence to get into New Jersey? And we say... "Come on, Y'all! ...have some BBQ and Tequila, and let's shoot the shit for a spell."
From: rectalfissure
[Yea I am an Asshole so what?]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 06:15
From: kurekuretakora [oldgit] Date: 2-Jul-2006 06:12 Amazing,in the language of the Navadoodo indians "Texas" means "hairy armadillo bollocks" how strange is that. No stanger than kurekuretakora translating into "large pile of rodent droppings"
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 06:16
Naphtali,kind of prooves my point about Texas being the scrotum of America what with FL being the wang.I guess that make California (state murderer Charles Manson) the buttock with Los Anglepoise the asshole itself.
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 06:19
Name calling now eh recto,trying to "fit in on rotten" eh,Well fuck your frigging arse you flapbellied,baldscrotumed,woddlebuttocked,cunthaired excuse for a underaged texmex prostitutes semi-literate idiot babies fart.
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 06:26
recto,good. Merrillvillian,wikipedia lard site is very interesting.Did you know until recentley lard was used instead of butter in many instances. Don't think "Last tango in Paris" would be quite so hip if old Marlon had whipped out 1/2 lb of hog fat.
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 06:40
merrillvillian,English folk know all about spam,it was one of the few meat sources available during WWII.Some love it,some hate it.I can't eat it as I am a vegetable. What surprised me was spam being very popular in Hawaii.That seems mighty strange,perhaps it is the state meat ?
From: rectalfissure
[Yea I am an Asshole so what?]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 06:41
Spam was developed shortly after WWII as meat supplement for the army. The scientists who developed it wanted something that was multi functional. Spam can be used as a entree, a building material for bomb shelters and as a bioweapon.
From: naphtali
[Naphtali]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 06:45
From: kurekuretakora [oldgit]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 06:16
Naphtali,kind of proves my point about Texas being the scrotum of America what with FL being the wang.I guess that make California (state murderer Charles Manson) the buttock with Los Anglepoise the asshole itself. +++ 'Morn'n Git Meister... --- You got that right. Never been to LA, but, from what I hear, I've pretty much determined to never be there... Speaking of Charles... ...As I was perusing the library of my mind, as I slept, I came across the following title: Fucktards: Analysis and Etiology of the Charles Manson Roll Model Syndrome By Professor Conan Arthurdoyle. During a REM moment I almost completed reading of said tomb. And, as recall, was quite enlightened. Regrettably, I woke up and can't remember shit now...
From: naphtali
[Naphtali]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 07:05
 +++ Well... You got that right. He.. is watching. However, for the life of me... I cant' figure the confusion many folk have between He and Allah. I mean it's not like Jesus watches with Machete in hand, and/or butcher knife, ready to hack the head off'n the nearest infidel. On the contrary, "He" dwelled amid the Fuctards, and enjoyed BBQ, and what passed for Tequila back then. His basic message: When you see your neighbor bleeding on the side of the road, don't go kick 'em in the nuts. Rather, help out a little. Jesus lived and identified with sinners. Allah and Liberals identify with machetes. [Let us see what happens now. I'm betting, nothing. LOL]
From: goldamyass [Drucilla]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 07:11
I have to defend the use of "ya'll" as the third person plural.
From: dogdayafternoon [New York State Of Mind]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 07:18
Anyway, back then Canada stood up to South Africa, while Margaret Thatcher's and Reagan's governments refused to impose sanctions, for fear that the falling of the white regime could usher in a communist government. They may have been right even. Who knows? Nelson Mandela has AMAZING powers of forgiveness, and Bishop Desmond Tutu is great too, but they might not have been able to control the rabid communists in their midsts if the white government had fallen while the Soviet Union was still a force in international affairs. Who knows? If they don't choose their next few leaders wisely, they may yet follow the Zimbabwean model to abject failure. Well, back then we may have felt ourselves as citizens of a greater British Commonwealth, but now it is just some abstract concept barely touched upon in history courses and quickly forgotten afterwards. ++++++++++ On behalf of many South Africans, I'd like to thank Canada for bringing 'democracy' to South Africa. Sadly, South Africa was the flavour of the month and the world has moved on. The new rulers, the ANC, are corrupt and getting worse by the day. Crime is at an all time high. With the exception of a wafer-thin middle class and well connected black elite, most blacks are as bad off as they were pre-1994. Yes, they can live were they want, but in shacks. The whites still basically run the show. They run he businesses, both big and small, and have token black people in executive position for the sake of 'Black Empowerment'. With the high degree of corruption and incompetence of the present government, it is a matter of time before SA becomes yet one more decrepit African country. Watch out for Jacob Zuma - rapist and corrupt ex-deputy president. His election to the presidency will mark the true beginning of the end for a once great nation. RIP.
From: dogdayafternoon [New York State Of Mind]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 07:23
It's too bad that Madela was so old when he took power. The ANC needs more Mandelas and less Zumas. Mandela was a pragmatist. A blood civil war between blacks and whites would have devastated the country. His vision was a nation that used the best of all the country's communities. Sadly, future governments will be progressively more corrupt and incompetent.
From: naphtali
[Naphtali]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 07:25
From: baschalove [TheHostessWithTheMostest]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 00:08
I'm going to miss the Rotten Army! There is a certain fufillment (sp? too lazy for spell check) to reading the daily responses!
Gypsy, Napthali, Sevgeli, Green Death, Davey, Theo, Alex, Doczzz, OldGit, Kyotay, McNastie, (yes, Allang), ICLW, Cheesegrits, STFU, (I'm thinking, gimme a minute!), Conspiracy - Who has been scarce, BTW, Ballsack,
Hellen, Carol, Danzil, PenguinsRock, BlahBlahBlowme, Sally, RoboJesus, SexiBiPuss, MikeIsGreen, SandyWoods (Of course), OldGit, TurdBlossom, Dittyd (How could I forget?), Stephy, Cracker, Vikmaster, And last but not least: DirtySlut.
You will all be missed. But only temporarily. We shall return!
We're not going as of yet, but our days are limited! +++ Don't stay gone too long, ya hear!
From: naphtali
[Naphtali]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 07:35
From: sevgeli [Indecent Exposure... the hacker that was...]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 21:35
[stuff omitted]
..but the point is... the individual States are being held up at the point of a gun to adopt standards that the Feds impose - at the risk of losing funds that were originally paid collectively by the taxpayers of the individual States...
States' Rights, my ass... it's not a democracy... it's not even a republic... it's a tautology... and it's imposed - with pen and checkbook in hand... +++ Yep. I keep waiting for at least one State to say to the Feds: FU! Confiscate all the tribute you shall... We'll just eat it... AND BE FREE! PS... I'd like to hear the thought behind "America as a Tautology" (truism)?
From: allang
[Lord Pavesini]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 07:43
Scruffy! Your French is above par! I'm proud of you, you old buzzard! BTW, does anybody here know of any good cocktail site? I want to mix a few drinks tonight, the stronger the better.
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 07:49
Cousin Bobo,for instant brain death try 1/2 pint beer (British preferably not amerincanian piss water) + 1/2 pint cider (same).Known to all as "snakebite".Repeat 2 or 3 times Cheap,revolting and oh so effective.
From: naphtali
[Naphtali]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 07:53
From: allang [Lord Pavesini]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 07:43
Scruffy! Your French is above par! I'm proud of you, you old buzzard!
BTW, does anybody here know of any good cocktail site? I want to mix a few drinks tonight, the stronger the better. +++ Hmm. 3-4 ounces Tequila, Vodka, etc. in a paper cup. Knock it back. If you get bitter-beer-face, do a swig o' spring water.
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 07:54
naphtali,I started to read "tautlogy in logic" but,well,life is too short.So I shall answer the question as "america a Tortilla" discuss. America is like a tortilla because it is flat,corny and covered in mexican stuff and slightly crispy round the edges. Hope that helps.
From: goldamyass [Drucilla]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 07:56
Allang, do you want to make chick drinks, macho libations, non-labor-intensive bulk yummies to pour as you go, or a showy presentation that impresses the guys, and makes the ladies wobbly?
From: alexthegreat
[My girlfriend doesn't know about my boyfriend]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 08:00
Bleeding Orgasm Ingredients: 1 bottle Vodka 1 bottle Bacardi 151 proof rum 2 cans Cranberry juice (frozen or bottled) 1 Pineapple 1 Mountain Dew Mixing instructions: Cut the pineapple into small chunks and soak them in the vodka and rum for 20-30 minutes. Add the rest of the ingredients and you're all good. http://www.azbartenderdrinks.com/
From: naphtali
[Naphtali]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 08:00
From: kurekuretakora [oldgit]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 07:54
naphtali,I started to read "tautlogy in logic" but,well,life is too short. So I shall answer the question as "america a Tortilla" discuss.
America is like a tortilla because it is flat,corny and covered in mexican stuff and slightly crispy round the edges.
Hope that helps. +++ I like it... Only you forgot the chapter on Tequila (unless that is subsumed under Mexican stuff...:)
From: allang
[Lord Pavesini]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 08:01
I want to fuck the ladies while they're out cold on the linoleum. So, excluding date rape drugs, which drink best achieves that effect?
From: doczzz
[dwarf fusion]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 08:02
From: kurekuretakora [oldgit]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 07:54
America is like a tortilla because it is flat,corny and covered in mexican stuff and slightly crispy round the edges.
Hope that helps. *************************** Git, all this America bashing is getting boring. Shall we talk about Britain now? Some suggested topics include the state of the nation's teeth, Mad Cow disease, or what laxative the Queen is taking.
From: alexthegreat
[My girlfriend doesn't know about my boyfriend]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 08:05
From: allang [Lord Pavesini] Date: 2-Jul-2006 08:01 I want to fuck the ladies while they're out cold on the linoleum. So, excluding date rape drugs, which drink best achieves that effect? ---------------------- Kamikaze Ingredients: 1 oz Vodka 1 oz Triple sec 1 oz Lime juice Mixing instructions: Shake all ingredients with ice, strain into an old-fashioned glass over ice cubes, and serve. http://www.azbartenderdrinks.com/
From: sandywoods
[Andrew Woods]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 08:07
A joke for you kurekuretakora [oldgit] Dai was on his way home when he had to screech to a halt and ended up in a massive traffic jam on the M4 towards Newport. He wound down the window and thought to himself, This seems bad, nothings moving at all. He noticed a police officer walking back and forth, in and out of all the cars, so Dai shouts over, "Scuse me officer, whats going on then?" The officer replies, An England football fan, so depressed about England being out of the 2006 world cup, feels a right idiot for gobbing off saying England are the best team in the world, hes actually threatening to douse himself in petrol and set himself on fire. The officer goes on, His family find him arrogant, and he hasn't got many mates, I'm just walking around taking up a collection for him. Oh tidy, says Dai, how much have you collected so far? So far, replies the officer, we've collected about 100 litres, but a lot of people are still siphoning. LMFAO
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 08:08
doczzz, O.K. Britains teeth suck,luckily we have imported highly trained Eastern European dentists to fill the many,many vacancies left due to British people no longer bothering to learn stuff. Mad cow disease has been successfully passed onto the French,the plan continues. The Queen (GBH) has no need of laxatives,all that rich food,as you know being a doctor and all,goes through one like the chatanooga choo choo goes through the pennsylvannia station. (GBH)= god bless her.I got the idea from the arab guys.
From: allang
[Lord Pavesini]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 08:08
Naah, Scruffy, I don't want to give these chicks kidney failure. I want them to wake up the day after with - at the most - a hangover and a sore pussy, not bleeding gums and throat ulcers.
From: naphtali
[Naphtali]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 08:13
From: doczzz [dwarf fusion]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 08:02
From: kurekuretakora [oldgit]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 07:54
America is like a tortilla because it is flat,corny and covered in mexican stuff and slightly crispy round the edges.
Hope that helps.
***************************
Git, all this America bashing is getting boring. Shall we talk about Britain now?
Some suggested topics include the state of the nation's teeth, Mad Cow disease, or what laxative the Queen is taking. +++ ...I'll drink to that. Now... ...What was it we were talk'n about? Oh, Yeah... I once gave a kid a piece of ExLax gum on the way to the bottom of Carlsbad Caverns... Interesting allegorical patterns all'round, wouldn't you say...
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 08:14
Oh,I get the idea,gang up on the old English guy is it ? Typical pack mentality I've come to expect on here.Racism at its most unpleasant if you ask me,but, no, y'all continue with your mockery,make yourselves feel "important" by picking on the little guy.Brutes.
From: goldamyass [Drucilla]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 08:17
OK, to diddle the ladies while they're out cold, and with the least amount of work, make this up ahead of time in an empty distilled water jug. After you make it, put the jug on ice, give a good shake and pour. Yummy. This is a recipe by the glass, do the math to make the gallon. Bend Me Over (Always gets a nervous laugh) 1 oz. Vodka 1 oz. Southern Comfort 1 oz. Amaretto 2 oz. orange juice 2 oz. pineapple juice splash Grenadine Up the amount of vodka for better effect. Buy a jar of cherries. Put one in each drink, and tell the women you can tie the stem in a knot with your tongue.
From: theodread
[{One More Time}]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 08:18
 As tu du lait? Maltese Jungle Juice (aka Swamp Water) Step 1. Gather the all opened, but unfinished liquor bottles in your house. Step 2. Pour all Liquor from unfinished bottles into large bowl. Step 3. Mix enough grain (of your choice) into bowl to make a moist crumbly consistency. Step 4. Force feed mixture to a female goat. (as an option stuff some up its ass). Don't worry it is normal for the goat to pass out. Step 5. Allow to Jungle Juice ferment. You may want to take a moment to place the goat on a table that is convenient to you and any guests. Use your imagination and arrange the goat so to provide easy access to the 'taps'. Step 6. Invite friend(s) over for party. Remember not to invite more friends that teats. See who finds the hidden stash first.
From: rectalfissure
[Yea I am an Asshole so what?]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 08:19
Oh,I get the idea,gang up on the old English guy is it ? Typical pack mentality I've come to expect on here.Racism at its most unpleasant if you ask me,but, no, y'all continue with your mockery,make yourselves feel "important" by picking on the little guy.Brutes. Oh I say chaps please don't get on to the old fellow after all it isn't cricket, it is perfectly allright for him to bash us but not the other way round you know
From: doczzz
[dwarf fusion]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 08:29
Dearest Git, We aren't attacking you-we like you! Now why is it racism when you are being spoken of, but not when you are doing the speaking? Surely even in Britain the streets must run in both directions...? Mad Cow disease: perhaps now the problem of the French, but no one who has eaten beef in Britain before 5 years ago is allowed to give blood in the US. Did you know there was bad blood between the US and Britain? Have you eaten beef before 2000 and are you certain your mind is untouched? As for Her Majesty: someone must be responsible for removing the Royal Poop. He must be busy, since there isn't enough time to remove the Royal Boogers?
From: naphtali
[Naphtali]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 08:29
From: kurekuretakora [oldgit]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 08:14
Oh,I get the idea,gang up on the old English guy is it ? Typical pack mentality I've come to expect on here. Racism at its most unpleasant if you ask me,but, no, y'all continue with your mockery,make yourselves feel "important" by picking on the little guy.Brutes. +++ Personally, I'd love to migrate back to the real mother-land. As this "Home-land" is getting a bit creeky. Not to besmirch the soul of here... I just think it's been sold for a giant gum-machine full of shiny Chinese plastic things... Many folks here want you to think "Bush" did it, ie, fucked it up. I here to tell you it was "Roosevelt." And maybe "Wilson" before him...
From: dirtyslut76
[slut]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 08:37
Hello DS, Bascha allow me to introduce myself I have been an admirer of you two for a while now aww that is sweet. hello to you. Hi Alex!
From: baschalove
[TheHostessWithTheMostest]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 08:37
SO what do we call you, Rectal, Asshole, Crack? No, just kidding. Nice to meet you, you seem like you should fit in around here nicley. Getcherself a profile. People like profiles...  Nice to meet you!
From: naphtali
[Naphtali]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 08:40
From: doczzz [dwarf fusion]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 08:29
Dearest Git,
We aren't attacking you - we like you! Now why is it racism when you are being spoken of, but not when you are doing the speaking? Surely even in Britain the streets must run in both directions...? +++ Doc... ...you gotta remember. When a Brit, or Scottish type, says something in a place like this, it must be interpreted bass-ackwards to get the real point. It's ironically satirical allegorical irony. I can just see Git's knowing smirk as he watches the colonists writhe in missing-the-point. LOL. Of course, it is Texan so analyzing. Which usually means said analysis is totally fucked. But then... ...oh, did I hear someone say "ready: grilled cabrito marinated in Tequila?" Later dudes...
From: doczzz
[dwarf fusion]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 08:46
Naphthali, I am woefully deficient in understanding British humor. I have desperately tried to understand AbFab, Benny Hill, Monty Python, and the like with little success. I did love the Tracey Ullman Show, however. Still, I must say that I genuinely like Git. I may not understand his humor, but he makes me laugh...perhaps in ways he does not intend
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 08:48
doczzz,naphtali is truely wise.Take 1/3 of what I say as true,1/3 as jest and 1/3 as complete garbage.Then ignore it all. It is a kind of anti-zen.Not "sitting quietly saying nothing" more stream of unconciousness.Those that know,know.Some have still to learn,grasshopper.
From: goldamyass [Drucilla]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 08:50
You're welcome, Poon King. And I went about that backwards, I should have first asked what you already have in your liquor cabinet. Maybe I know a recipe(s) that would save you a trip to the store.
From: baschalove
[TheHostessWithTheMostest]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 08:53
Allang, I suppose if Gypsy says there is some shred of humanity in you, there must be. (Somewhere.) You just drive me apeshit sometimes. You are the ONLY one on here that has ever been disrespectful to me, and that goes back to driving me apeshit. (It's starting to storm here really bad, so If I drop out, the power went!) DS talks a lot of shit, but what else could anyone expect?
From: naphtali
[Naphtali]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 08:54
From: baschalove [TheHostessWithTheMostest]
Date: 1-Jul-2006 22:17
A point that always bothered me:
You can vote at 18, You can marry at 18, You can smoke at 18, You can serve in the military at 18...
But you can't knock back a few beers with your friends?
Mind you, there are irresponsible people at any age. But if we can send our kids off to foreign countries with assault rifles and a kill or be killed mentality, is drinking so bad? +++ Hmm. I was 18 when they made that rule: "they can kill, why not drink?" It only took a few years to realize that said 18 year olds had killed in half the time here twice the number they'd wiped out in Nam.... without even trying. Life an involuted mystery. But I gather, in my old age, better to save the recklessness of youth for the enemy. And our youth are damn good at it...
From: goldamyass [Drucilla]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 08:55
Bascha, who is the lady in the old-fashioned picture? Not quite bee-stung enough for Lillian Gish.
From: allang
[Lord Pavesini]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 08:58
You're welcome, babe. Actually, the only ingredient I'm missing is the Southern Comfort, and I was wondering if I could substitute it with something else. I suppose leaving it out would be out of the question, huh? Anyway...you're so nice, you deserve a grope too: 
From: alexthegreat
[My girlfriend doesn't know about my boyfriend]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 09:02
The Cynic's Guide To Life Follow your dream! Unless it's the one where you're at work in your underwear during a fire drill. Always take time to stop and smell the roses and sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either, just leave me alone. If you don't like my driving, don't call anyone. Just take another road. That's why the highway department made so many of them. If a motorist cuts you off, just turn the other cheek. Nothing gets the message across like a good mooning. When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself. It's always darkest before the dawn. So if you're going to steal the neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. A handy telephone tip: Keep a small chalkboard near the phone. That way, when a salesman calls, you can hold the receiver up to it and run your fingernails across it until he hangs up. Each day I try to enjoy something from each of the four food groups: the bonbon group, the salty-snack group, the caffeine group and the "What-ever-the-thing-in-the-tinfoil-in-the-back- of-the-fridge-is" group. Into every life some rain must fall. Usually when your car windows are down. Just remember: You gotta break some eggs to make a real mess on the neighbor's car! When you find yourself getting irritated with someone, try to remember that all men are brothers and just give them a noogie or an Indian burn. This morning I woke up to the unmistakable scent of pigs in a blanket. That's the price you pay for letting the relatives stay over. It's a small world. So you gotta use your elbows a lot. Keep your nose to the grindstone and your shoulder to the wheel, it's a lot cheaper than plastic surgery. This land is your land. This land is my land. So stay on your land. Love is like a roller coaster: When it's good you don't want to get off, and when it isn't you can't wait to throw up.
From: alexthegreat
[My girlfriend doesn't know about my boyfriend]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 09:04
10 Words That Don't Exist, But Should AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks'trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub tap on and off with your toes. CARPERPETUATION (kar'pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance. DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the piece of confection (lolly) you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow 'remove' all the germs. ELBONICS (el bon'iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater. FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug. LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the 'illegal' side. PEPPIER (peph ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want fresh ground pepper. PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer. PUPKUS (pup'kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're
From: allang
[Lord Pavesini]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 09:05
Bascha, ah come on, relax! Don't judge me so harshly. This whole PR disaster got started because your primate of a husband took offence at my heart-felt desire to grope your delicious boobs. And I still want to, make no mistake! Grope, grope, grope, grope, wipe sweat off brow, grope, grope, grope...move on down, grope, grope. GROPE!
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 09:10
doczz,I sincerely hope not,they look like two (very badly done) drag queens. (not bascha and ds you understand,the other..oh what the heck)
From: goldamyass [Drucilla]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 09:10
Bascha, thank you for the link. Allang, I don't say this about a lot of products, but, there is no substitution for Southern Comfort. On the good side of that, I know several great recipes that use it. Thanks for the grope, how did you know I am blonde, that is just uncanny.
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 09:12
Cousin Bobo,a word of advice,try a little finesse with the ladies.Bring them flowers and chocolates and then,while there hands are full,you can grope away with impunity.
From: allang
[Lord Pavesini]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 09:14
Ahahahahahahah *Splooge* Oh man, look at those two. They look like such WHORES, don't they? So cheap. So fucking willing. They look like the kind of girls who will take it up the ass and not even look around to see who it is. Whores through and through. Cheap, stinking whores. Man I love 'em!
From: theodread
[{One More Time}]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 09:16
Will someone Please tell someone to Fuck Off soon? My mind is wandering. I am starting to contemplate life here and I am nowhere near intoxicated enough to be doing that.
From: allang
[Lord Pavesini]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 09:23
Scruffy, don't interrupt. I'm on a roll here. The girls are out and I'm wearing my best Versace summer linens. So, Drucilla, you're blonde? Oh man I love blondes. They fumble their verbs and their bra straps, but they know how to suck a good cock. Ok, Blondie, get on me and ride me all the way to the liquor store; I got me some Southern Comfort to buy. Yeeha!
From: naphtali
[Naphtali]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 09:26
From: doczzz [dwarf fusion]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 08:46
Naphthali, I am woefully deficient in understanding British humor. I have desperately tried to understand AbFab, Benny Hill, Monty Python, and the like with little success. I did love the Tracey Ullman Show, however.
Still, I must say that I genuinely like Git. I may not understand his humor, but he makes me laugh...perhaps in ways he does not intend.
[Black man, secular humanist, and scientist. Deal with it (..!..)] +++ Howdy Again, Doczzz!...! Trust me... We will never equal the masters! It is our (my) delight, to become slack jawed, upon the passage of a few minutes of reading said humor, and muse: "Did he really say what I think he just said?" The humor is: ...that "we" will never know. We might get the general direction... then, we have add the rest... Makes me crap my pants every time!
From: doczzz
[dwarf fusion]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 09:26
From: dirtyslut76 [slut]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 09:19
Allang
FUCK OFF
Alex is my boy. ************************** Allang, The first rule of getting into the pants of a self-confessed fag hag is to befriend the object of her affection. This is how I wound up with so many gay friends (even though I broke up with the hag years ago)
From: dirtyslut76
[slut]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 09:28
Hi ICLW How are you? I am still angry. Just got smokes from the gas station (BTW, FUCKING gas prices skyrocketed AGAIN!) On the way back home I was driving near this house. These fuckers have a broken porch and garbage all over the front yard. Instead of cleaning it up, they pushed everything aside a put a fucking pool in the front yard. Next to the broken deck. I slowed down, opened my window, and yelled "nice pool, clean up your fucking yard!" I feel sorry for the people directly acrss the street from them. Their house has been for sale for over a year now. Wonder why.
From: doczzz
[dwarf fusion]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 09:34
Naphtali, [Black man, secular humanist, and scientist. Deal with it (..!..)] *********** I guess I am more of an expert in black humor... Heh.
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 09:38
doczzz,I would love to help you on the path to enlightenment re British "humour".The first step must be ,do not try to understand.It is either too deep or too shallow to explain.(usually at the shallow end). Humour permeates the British psyche like cheap bourbon through a New Orleans hooker.For did not Pope Gregory on landing in Britain in 597 crack the excellent joke "non angli sed angeli" or "they are not angles but angels".The first English joke.Possibly followed by a custard (or saxon equivalent) pie in the said popes face. Things to look out for include satire,irony,puns,wordplay,vicious invective and "toilet humour". Remember also that some words are intrinsically funny,they can't help it.Examples are badger,woggle,wobble,woddle,weasel and France. Follow your heart not your head. Good luck pilgrim. I am here for you.
From: dirtyslut76
[slut]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 09:39
ICLW They have the worst house ever. The apartments I live in are ok. But the houses in the neighborhood I live in are a mix of old and new. The old house are generally kept up wonderfully. I feel insulted everytime I drive past that shitty house. Good thing I didn't have my BB gun. BTW, does anyone else here like to blow up balloons, throw them far away in your yard, and shoot them with your BB gun when you are drunk? That usually ends up happening when I have a party. The police have been called once or twice over that.
From: doczzz
[dwarf fusion]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 09:41
  More of DS and Bascha (tits are probably way too small in my fantasies, compared to reality)  Here I am with Ciaociaobella (remember her?)
From: allang
[Lord Pavesini]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 09:41
Doczz, I concur. But Alex is like Ted Danson on meth. He's so goddamn camp, nobody in his right mind could ever befriend him. And that's assuming I even want to get into the pants of said 'fag hag'; which I don't, because I don't particularly relish the idea of then having to check my dick for spots for the next six months. Ladies, if you'll excuse me... now I have some drinks to mix. Cheerio.
From: rectalfissure
[Yea I am an Asshole so what?]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 09:41
From: dirtyslut76 [slut] Date: 2-Jul-2006 09:39 ICLW They have the worst house ever. The apartments I live in are ok. But the houses in the neighborhood I live in are a mix of old and new. The old house are generally kept up wonderfully. I feel insulted everytime I drive past that shitty house. Good thing I didn't have my BB gun. BTW, does anyone else here like to blow up balloons, throw them far away in your yard, and shoot them with your BB gun when you are drunk? That usually ends up happening when I have a party. The police have been called once or twice over that. we do something similar in my area but we call it skeet shooting
From: baschalove
[TheHostessWithTheMostest]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 09:43
DS: Speaking of balloons, next time you have a party, take a balloon, blow it up, and give it to one of your friends (Female, prefferably)and tell them to put it between their knees and try to pop it. (Make sure it's not blown up too much, give it a little slack) Stand back, and laugh your ass off. It's one of those stupid get drunk at the Batchelorette party jokes, but it's funny as hell, and really hard to do. (Especially when your drunk)
From: naphtali
[Naphtali]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 09:44
From: doczzz [dwarf fusion]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 09:34
Naphtali,
[Black man, secular humanist, and scientist. Deal with it (..!..)]
***********
I guess I am more of an expert in black humor... Heh. +++ Being a quasi-redneck Texan, I fear to tread there. ...because I really don't mean to offend. That "Mencia" guy on the comedy channel has it made, though! He, Dave Chapelle, and South Park have this gift. Screw everyone... and they love it! Why??? Because they got real hearts... none of the hate stuff. And people know it... even though though they say every taboo thing possible... If anything saves America... it will be those guys spirits!
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 09:44
Holy mother of God,what are those gals in the pink holding.I hope they are not intended for the purpose I think they are.Even ds would find THAT stretching things a little too far.
From: dirtyslut76
[slut]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 09:48
hostess I will try that sometime for real ICLW I LOVE my BB gun. It always livens up the party. Drunk, shooting balloons in the dead of night, besides getting laid, what more fun be had?
From: baschalove
[TheHostessWithTheMostest]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 09:48
DS: It's a chunk of concrete with a rock in it. Do you know how hard it was to google a pic for concrete that would actually LET me use the URL? I think this is the most I've seen Doczzz in a while! Oldgit: Noodle is another one. Ever lay there in bed, can't sleep, and the word noodle gets stuck in your head? Say it over and over again, pretty soon you're going "Who the fuck ever came up with a word like noodle?"
From: alexthegreat
[My girlfriend doesn't know about my boyfriend]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 09:51
At times there is somebody we don't like, at the pub, at the disco or at the club, cruising us and boring us to death. What can we answer to his insistent approaches, to get rid of him? You can choose here... Q. Can I have your name? A. Why? Don't you already have one? Q. So, what do you do for as living? A. I am a cop, in the vice-squad. Q. May I have the pleasure of this dance? A. No. I'd like to have some pleasure too! Q. I am a photographer, and I've been looking for a face like yours! A. I'm a plastic surgeon and I've been looking for a face like yours! Q. Hi! Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice? A. Must've been once. 'Cause I never make the same mistake twice. Q. Haven't I seen you some place before? A. Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore! Q. How did you get to be so beautiful? A. I must've been given your share! Q. Your face must turn a few heads! A. And your face must turn a few stomachs! Q. Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out! A. Okay. Get out! Q. I think I could make you very happy. A. Why? Are you leaving? Q. What would you say if I asked you to be my lover? A. Nothing. 'Cause I can't talk and laugh at the same time! Q. If I could see you naked, I'll die happy. A. If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing. Q. Where have you been all my life? A. Hiding from you! Q. Where have you been all my life? A. Where I'll be the rest of your life - in your wildest dreams. Q. Hey, man, what's your sign? A. Do - Not - Enter. Q. How do you like your eggs in the morning? A. On your face!
From: kurekuretakora
[oldgit]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 09:52
bascha is "getting the noodle stuck in your head" some kind of sexual euphamism ? If so I can certainly say I have never noodled with my noddle while nodding at night (well I could TRY to say that) The reek of stale testosterone on this thread (hi ds) is beginning to get to me,I must away.
From: baschalove
[TheHostessWithTheMostest]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 09:52
Napthali: Big Mac just went for a Sunday pizza, and a bottle. You for some drunken ramblings today? Doczzz: We still need a pic for you for the Rotten Photo. (Unless Malcom X works for you...) We'll be off line after the 5th or so, so Big Mac is going to finish up with the additions today or tomorrow.
From: doczzz
[dwarf fusion]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 09:52
From: kurekuretakora [oldgit]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 09:38
Remember also that some words are intrinsically funny,they can't help it.Examples are badger,woggle,wobble,woddle,weasel and France. Git, Now it finally is making sense. We Americans obviously think the words "France" and "humor" naturally go together. http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/blfrenchjokes.htm
From: dirtyslut76
[slut]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 09:55
From: baschalove [TheHostessWithTheMostest] Date: 2-Jul-2006 09:52 Napthali: Big Mac just went for a Sunday pizza, and a bottle. You for some drunken ramblings today? Doczzz: We still need a pic for you for the Rotten Photo. (Unless Malcom X works for you...) We'll be off line after the 5th or so, so Big Mac is going to finish up with the additions today or tomorrow ------ that pic doczz posted was malcolm x? too funny
From: naphtali
[Naphtali]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 09:57
From: dirtyslut76 [slut]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 09:43
hostess,
WTF is this...I keep staring at it and and can't figure it out +++ ...looks looks some chunks of concrete with pieces of dried body parts to me. Maybe of WTC fame... or Bagdad, or Tel Aviv... Sigh. In the end though... everyone will be laugh'n, eat'n BBQ and shoot'n Skyy as they warm their footies next to the place-of-the-fire. [Background sounds: tree frogs and crickets, the occassional owl and whip-poor-will]
From: doczzz
[dwarf fusion]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 10:04
DS: The dick-lengthening URL was most satisfactory...especially when a troll attacked me for having a 'huge ego' recently. I like Alex too, and I think he is better behaved than most 15 year olds, but he needs to spend less time on the internet and more time trying to get laid (like most teenagers I know). Bascha: The Malcolm X pic will simply have to do. Unfortunately, my universe is a little too fragile to rock it with a pic of myself on Rotten. Believe it or not, I'm actually a "pillar of my community", a position that was foisted on me without my consent. Naphtali: I think humor would be much more effective and would break down barriers if the underlying viciousness wasn't there. I, for one, hate the precious pantywaists who are our self-appointed moral police there days. The FCC takes itself WAY too seriously. Allang: As your physician and dating coach, I must always advise you to wear condoms.
From: sandywoods
[Andrew Woods]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 10:06
From: dirtyslut76 [slut] Date: 2-Jul-2006 10:01 sandywoods got this pic from your link Loved this dog....RIP --------------------------- It's a link to kurekuretakoras Photobucket album, I think this might be his family photo?    
From: naphtali
[Naphtali]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 10:06
From: baschalove [TheHostessWithTheMostest]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 09:48
Noodle is another one. Ever lay there in bed, can't sleep, and the word noodle gets stuck in your head? Say it over and over again, pretty soon you're going "Who the fuck ever came up with a word like noodle?" +++ Bascha... ...are you drunk?
From: bigmac
[Saving America One Teen At A Time]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 10:08
Oldgit: You mustn't leave. I haven't even spit what I was drinking out on my keyboard and cursed you yet. DS: My woman could kick your ass, and No That wasn't Malcom X. Nephtali: Ready for the drunken Yoda rant portion of the competition? Alex: Today is a good day for a rant have at it. Allang: Fuck off and/or die Preferably both...Unga munga bitch!!
From: goldamyass [Drucilla]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 10:09
There is a pic on here somewhere of Doczzz singing Karaoke.
From: sandywoods
[Andrew Woods]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 10:10
From: dirtyslut76 [slut] Date: 2-Jul-2006 10:05 Alex, still there? I kinda remember reading you had a bad night. ------------------------ Didn't he mention he had a nasty fight with his parents and Bobby? Wonder who got off the worse, and whether there was an exchange of punches and fighting, or was it just verbal?
From: goldamyass [Drucilla]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 10:13
And by the way Fluffyscatora, they're not called "warts" in Oklahoma, they are called "speed bumps".
From: bigmac
[Saving America One Teen At A Time]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 10:14
From: rectalfissure [Yea I am an Asshole so what?] Date: 2-Jul-2006 10:07 Hey does anyone know what happened to Julio? ---------------------------------------------- I believe Allang sweet talked him into a night of hot steamy relations. He slept with him, thusly giving the worst combination of venerial disease resulting in his demise. He then took his skin and made a nice coat out of it. Lastly he devoured the remainder of consumable materials and kept the skull as a constant reminder of what happens to fucking assholes that don't know when to shut the fuck up. I see he hasn't learned his lesson.
From: rectalfissure
[Yea I am an Asshole so what?]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 10:17
From: bigmac [Saving America One Teen At A Time] Date: 2-Jul-2006 10:14 From: rectalfissure [Yea I am an Asshole so what?] Date: 2-Jul-2006 10:07 Hey does anyone know what happened to Julio? ---------------------------------------------- I believe Allang sweet talked him into a night of hot steamy relations. He slept with him, thusly giving the worst combination of venerial disease resulting in his demise. He then took his skin and made a nice coat out of it. Lastly he devoured the remainder of consumable materials and kept the skull as a constant reminder of what happens to fucking assholes that don't know when to shut the fuck up. I see he hasn't learned his lesson. _____________________________________ Dude you are going to pop an o-ring ...... remember happy place
From: naphtali
[Naphtali]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 10:21
From: kurekuretakora [oldgit]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 09:38
Things to look out for include satire,irony,puns,wordplay,vicious invective and "toilet humour". Remember also that some words are intrinsically funny,they can't help it.Examples are badger,woggle,wobble,woddle,weasel and France. +++ Badgers...! France...! Like I said (and I don't have a clue why) ROFLMAO...
From: dirtyslut76
[slut]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 10:23
Alex, all is well now? And the idea of you getting laid Feel like your big sis turns my stomache I am glad I am the youngest in my family
From: doczzz
[dwarf fusion]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 10:24
From: goldamyass [Drucilla]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 10:09
There is a pic on here somewhere of Doczzz singing Karaoke. http://www.drunktopia.com/ That was a pic I stole, and wasn't me either. Can't seem to link to the pic now for some reason. ****************************** From: alexthegreat [My girlfriend doesn't know about my boyfriend]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 10:12
I get laid plenty, thanks. Alex, the fun is in TRYING to get laid. Actually getting laid is anti-climactic, IMHO. Your teenage years are to be spent learning the useless socialization rituals and contemplating the stupidity of your fellow humans. Trust me, it comes in handy later. The Internet only accomplishes half of that.
From: naphtali
[Naphtali]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 10:29
From: bigmac [Saving America One Teen At A Time]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 10:08
Nephtali:
Ready for the drunken Yoda rant portion of the competition? +++ Name your poison...! ...and I shall yodel anyone one here under the table... [Stop it. You'll give me a heart attack]
From: alexthegreat
[My girlfriend doesn't know about my boyfriend]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 10:30
From: dirtyslut76 [slut] Date: 2-Jul-2006 10:23 Alex, all is well now? And the idea of you getting laid Feel like your big sis turns my stomache I am glad I am the youngest in my family ------------------------ It's back to 'normal'... I bought Bobby cookie-dough ice-cream, and were best friends again. My parents finally listened to why I was late, and we're cool. And, hopefully, to ease you concern: I 'play safe'...
From: doczzz
[dwarf fusion]
Date: 2-Jul-2006 10:33
Niggardly: # adjective: petty in giving or spending (Example: "A niggardly tip") *************** Perfectly legitimate word, and has nothing to do with the word "Nig ger" or any racial context at all. It is actually a word derived from Old Norse for "miser". Most people are too much of a bunch of PC pussies to use it. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Niggardly
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