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The Devil in Miss Jones
WDIV-TV 4 Detroit | Submitted by: gargoyle1
"The Michigan Supreme Court has agreed to review a sex assault case involving allegations against a local pastor, and the devil." ... Also: Pickled Baby
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From: gargoyle1
Date: 4-Oct-2007 17:20
I think this woman needs a rubber room. I love the pickled kid article, and the Jar it was in. Gotta wonder what happened there though.
From: brainspore [Brainspore]
Date: 4-Oct-2007 17:23
I think she's in over her head. Everyone knows that the best lawyers in the world are on Satan's payroll.
From: tower [of babel]
Date: 4-Oct-2007 18:24
The story that links from the pickled baby article, about the mummified baby, is pretty rotten. "'Please allow this child, whoever he is, family member or not, to rest in peace. No earthly benefit can be gained from further scrutiny of this tragedy,' Lamanna said in the statement." Translate, please don't look into this, because it's pretty obvious that my parents were involved in some kind of bizarre crime, and I want it to stay buried.
From: crnkybitch
[cranky bitch]
Date: 4-Oct-2007 18:45
In 2003, Piscopo was convicted of sexually assaulting a female church member during a deliverance ceremony in which Piscopo said he expelled the devil from the woman's body. +++ Some women have all the fun.
From: static
[arking quotes]
Date: 4-Oct-2007 19:07
According to court records, the woman indicated she "had been raped by a demon" and sexually assaulted by Satan himself, who she claimed was living in her attic at the time of the exorcism. ^^^^^   
From: daredevil [CameronVale]
Date: 4-Oct-2007 19:12
Take back........Eddie Murphy Take back........Joe Piscopo Give 'em all some place to go!
From: reader57 [Rotten Reader]
Date: 4-Oct-2007 19:33
 In a related story this statement was just issued. "As hoary host of the netherworld and spokesman for all demons, I must state that we do not know this woman nor are we associated with her by any means and we further demand that she stop using our name."
From: ohhellno
[steve-vo]
Date: 4-Oct-2007 20:19
I guess the guy thought his semen was like holy water or something. The power of christ commands you! (but only if you swallow)
From: assholius
[ikthool]
Date: 4-Oct-2007 20:41
This is why if my wife or daughter ever need an exorcism, I'm using a Catholic priest. I just wouldn't let one near my son.
From: daredevil [CameronVale]
Date: 4-Oct-2007 21:06
Every single one of us......the devil inside. Makes me wonder how the other half dies.
From: find [the pussy]
Date: 4-Oct-2007 21:30
I'd use two pounds of dynamite to get rid of all those demons.
From: huwatng [Hue]
Date: 4-Oct-2007 22:10
"No comment. I must refer all questions to my attorney, Daniel Webster." -Satan
From: theallseeingear [Bavid Dyrden]
Date: 4-Oct-2007 23:44
Dear Advice Column: I'm not sure what to do about my boyfriend, whom I'll call "Prince of Darkness". He sometimes acts evil - but he says it's his job that makes him do it. I don't know. Should I turn a blind eye to his constant attempts to corrupt the creations of the Almighty? Also, he's living in my attic - he says his own place is "hell". Is he just a moocher?
From: csi [can't stand idiots]
Date: 4-Oct-2007 23:52
what happened to the separation of church and state? and what happened to the pickles?
From: rotteneggs13
[a bakers dozen]
Date: 5-Oct-2007 00:12
<<Also, he's living in my attic - he says his own place is "hell". Is he just a moocher? >> -----+-----+-----+----- It all depends on where you live. If you live in the south I'd say let stay in the attic. Because all attics turn into hot houses. Satan likes it hot. If you live in the north I'd say he's a mooch 'cause it's only hot 5 months give or take. Kick his hell-raising ass out. *Is he paying rent? *Does he bring you a pocket full of posies? *Is he mad as a hatter? *Did he bring you that new puppy? *Does he smoke crack?
From: mikedime [mac]
Date: 5-Oct-2007 00:52
what yet another incredible waste of the legal system, obviously the devil has just focused on this one individual and decided to live in her attic. It is high time that the mighty u.s. justice system just lock his punk ass up. We have all seen on episodes of cops that they can easily take down teen-aged girls inside drive through fast food joints, and that a man with a small amount of marijuana can easily be tazed, have his life ruined and be sent to prison. The prince of darkness should be an easy collar for our brave boys in blue.
From: kyotay2001
[We all have our bears to cross]
Date: 5-Oct-2007 01:24
Pickled baby? Dill or Sweet? I hate sweet pickles. Read the other story again. He isnt being accused of rape.It says unwanted sexual touching without force. Who hasnt been guilty of that? Where is Allang when you need confirmation on that.If I read it right she got her anatomy grazed in a laying on of hands in front of 100 witnesses who say nothing inappropriate occured. Keep in mind that half of those were probably speaking in tongues at that moment though. He should at least be convicted of being a bullshit artist though.
From: ciaochowbella [I didn't do it and I wasn't there when it happened]
Date: 5-Oct-2007 04:13
Recipe for Pickled Baby Scrub dead baby. Rinse. Put in pan and cover with cold water. Bring to a boil. Pour off water. Add salted, boiling water. You should add salt to your taste. Cover and simmer until tender, about 3 hours. Drain and plunge into cold water. Put baby into a large jar. Cover with hot, white distilled vinegar if desired. Baby can also be pickled by soaking in a bath of water in which 2 sliced green peppers, 2 sliced onions, 6 peppercorns and 1 teaspoon of salt have been boiled for 10 minutes, and to which the juice of 3 lemons has been added. Let baby remain in desired bath for at least 2 days before eating. The longer they sit refrigerated, the better they taste. For the desired spices try 6 to 10 peppercorns, 2 bay leaves, some pickling spices, and 1 or 2 red peppers, depending on your taste.
From: pontiuspilatus
[Pontius Phallus Pilatius]
Date: 5-Oct-2007 04:25
I do mines with tomato sauce. Peal 15 tomatoes. Use a lot of green herbs. Check out Ciao's cooking system, except for the sauce. And 3 days is too long, keep it in the sauce for 6-8 hours. And don't fuck it in the right eye.
From: prestonsgirl [Melanie]
Date: 5-Oct-2007 04:54
That lady has watched the movie: "Rosemary's Baby" too many times!
From: ladyjanegrey
Date: 5-Oct-2007 05:49
A deliverance ceremony? Why is banjo music playing in my head right now? Also, Satan had this to say: "I did not. have. deliverance. ceremony. relations with that woman, Ms. Spelvin. This is what she gets when she asked for "the devil fucked out of me."
From: aulduron
[Aulduron]
Date: 5-Oct-2007 09:03
It's not a waste of the courts time, and it has nothing to do with church/state. A man was convicted of rape, The only evidence against him was the testimony of a woman who also accused the devil, who lives in her closet. So that's one witness against him, and 100 for him. The jury was not allowed to hear about the devil. The defense contends that if the jury had heard that, her testimony against the defendant would not have been at all credible. The defense is correct.
From: teratomarty
[Self-made man]
Date: 5-Oct-2007 09:55
Two deeply Rotten stories, well done Gargoyle. And yeah, the fact that the woman named Lucifer Satan, Prince of Lies, Lord of this World and King of Hell as a co-defendant definitely warrants a re-trial.
From: daredevil [CameronVale]
Date: 5-Oct-2007 14:47
Mephistopheles is such a mouthful in Manhattan.
From: sp00k
Date: 5-Oct-2007 15:00
In 2003, Piscopo was convicted of sexually assaulting a female church member during a deliverance ceremony Ah, that explains it. A deliverance ceremony. Now lets here ya SQUEAL!
From: daredevil [CameronVale]
Date: 5-Oct-2007 15:02
 If I had kept my old comics from whence I was but a nipper........they'd be worth close to 25K by now. Shingata ga nai. Neh?
From: sp00k
Date: 5-Oct-2007 15:07
And our next witness - Satan. Put your left hand on the bible and raise your right hand. repeat after me . do you swear to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you god Oh HELL NO
From: ciaochowbella [I didn't do it and I wasn't there when it happened]
Date: 5-Oct-2007 16:00
This coming from a man who openly admits to fucking street prostitutes and had told us ALL he caught something from one (or more) of them. PompousPiePlate, for poor hygiene, you have to look no further than your lap.
From: ciaochowbella [I didn't do it and I wasn't there when it happened]
Date: 5-Oct-2007 16:28
Right, you only fuck the chicks that work in the whorehouses. Like that is any better. Just imagine how much jizz you plunge your pecker into each time you fuck one of those lovely ladies.....that extra juicy goodness you think is due to your amorous attentions is probably just the leftovers of the previous customers. Kind of makes you cringe, doesn't it?
From: snatchvondrippy [snatch]
Date: 5-Oct-2007 16:48
so this dude is at a party and hooks up with this chick- he's eating at the y and comes across a bit of carrot-hmmm-he says to himself. then he;s munching away and comes across a bit of corn nibblets-this is odd he thinks to himself. not one to veer from the unusual; he continues snacking cooch only to come across a bit of hot dog-at this point he looks up at said bird and says-oi-there's bits of food down here-are you sick or somit? she says no; but the guy before you was. badabing badaboom
From: ciaochowbella [I didn't do it and I wasn't there when it happened]
Date: 5-Oct-2007 16:57
Pompous, seriously, syphilis can and will kill you. Then again, if it's gotten to the point you are delusional, it may be too late for medical intervention to do you any good. Carry on.
From: snatchvondrippy [snatch]
Date: 5-Oct-2007 17:30
if life gives you a drippy lemon, make goo nog for the masses
From: aulduron
[Aulduron]
Date: 5-Oct-2007 18:27
Non hookers can be nasty as hell, too, while many hookers aren't. There is really no greater chance of contracting a disease from a whorehouse, than picking up some bar fly. In fact, legal brothels have the cleanest girls you'll ever find among those with multiple sex partners. At least whores are honest about who they are.
From: bartyboyo
[sean]
Date: 5-Oct-2007 23:24
bella now you made me hungry you rotten ass bastard Pickled babes had me lmao though.Good to see someone has as sick a mind as me.I think the right thing to do would just eat a nice meal right now sounds good!
From: ciaochowbella [I didn't do it and I wasn't there when it happened]
Date: 6-Oct-2007 07:30
Andro, you'd think a man who claims to have as much going for him as Pompous claims would have something better to do with his weekend than lurk around here with us ordinary mortals. Unless you agree with my theory of him being an out of work machinist who lives in Ohio and "dates" barflies. Then all his time spent here makes much more sense.
From: pontiuspilatus
[Pontius Phallus Pilatius]
Date: 6-Oct-2007 08:13
Ah Cow, you're so smart! (Maybe I should spell that your). Yes, I am KillNill from Ohio, I work a machine, I never had sex (still a virgin, except for the gang rapes in prison) and I love you. And I love sucking carpets, it's my religion after all. If one other person other than you really believes that, then I won't bother being around here anymore.
From: ciaochowbella [I didn't do it and I wasn't there when it happened]
Date: 6-Oct-2007 12:24
From: pontiuspilatus [Pontius Phallus Pilatius] Date: 6-Oct-2007 08:13 Ah Cow, you're so smart! (Maybe I should spell that your). Yes, I am KillNill from Ohio, I work a machine, I never had sex (still a virgin, except for the gang rapes in prison) and I love you. And I love sucking carpets, it's my religion after all. If one other person other than you really believes that, then I won't bother being around here anymore. ------------------------------- Okay, people, you see what he said.....just ONE of you needs to agree and PompousPigPalate is out of here. Of course, he would probably stay even if you all agreed.....he's a bit of a social misfit and considers rejection to be a good thing. BTW, a machinist and a machine operator are not the same thing. You demoted yourself.....oh, wait, you can't be MORE unemployed.
Updated: 11-Oct-2007 14:38
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