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Sticky Fingers
Lancaster Online | Submitted by: PearlRabbit
Asked what type of doughnut police recovered from the woman, McElheny said, "smushed."
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From: gargoyle1
Date: 4-Oct-2007 17:23
Bet she had sticky buns too. Was she hot though? Makes a difference on whether or not to eat the donut.
From: daredevil [CameronVale]
Date: 4-Oct-2007 17:33
'The way I figure it ladies.....you owe me for one jelly donut!' Now get on your faces!
From: elfboy
[blinky7]
Date: 4-Oct-2007 17:59
"A 44 -cent donut" WTF? Is this dimbo cheap, or a klepto? And who in their right mind wants to eat a donut that's been next to a fat,smelly ass?
From: himmlerismyhero [Brad]
Date: 4-Oct-2007 18:11
Yea right, the pig ate half of it.
From: dogsbody [nobody]
Date: 4-Oct-2007 18:24
From: elfboy [blinky7] Date: 4-Oct-2007 17:59 "A 44 -cent donut" WTF? Is this dimbo cheap, or a klepto? And who in their right mind wants to eat a donut that's been next to a fat,smelly ass? ....................................................................... Just one or two beers, maybe three. OK
From: cocytus9judecca4 [What would Nietzsche do?]
Date: 4-Oct-2007 18:27
bet the pigs were on it so fast because it was a personal interest issue.......
From: gargoyle1
Date: 4-Oct-2007 18:42
Elfy, that's why I asked if she was hot or not. If it was next to a really sweet ass, well, might be worth eating it. If it was some lardassed pig, then forget it.
From: elfboy
[blinky7]
Date: 4-Oct-2007 18:56
Gargoyle, Hi! In lieu of pictures, I'm postulating on circumstantial reports. I still think anyone stealing a 44 cent donut is probably not worth hitting on. At the very least, she is cheap. I envision some skanky, skinny, bleached-blonde trailer-trash, named "Tiffany", or "Crystal". Plus she'd have that oddly huge ass that those people have. And zits. And bad teeth. And bad grammer. Smush her. Just hope she's childless.
From: crnkybitch
[cranky bitch]
Date: 4-Oct-2007 19:13
I envision some skanky, skinny, bleached-blonde trailer-trash, named "Tiffany", or "Crystal". Plus she'd have that oddly huge ass that those people have. And zits. And bad teeth. And bad grammer. +++ Elfy not every "skanky, skinny, bleached-blonde trailer-trash" chick has a huge ass, zits or bad teeth. And you ain't got the best grammar no way. Stealing a 44 cent doughnut and hiding in the bushes to eat it is just nasty. Maybe she was really hot looking, but batshit crazy. Then gargoyle could nail her and have a smushed doughnut snack.
From: gargoyle1
Date: 4-Oct-2007 19:26
Hell, I don't even like donuts. Bad for my sugars too. So I guess from the sounds of it, I'd be better off just rubbing one out in the mens room, er wait, that didn't sound right.
From: dogsbody [nobody]
Date: 4-Oct-2007 19:45
A donut hole and a cup of steam please. Thank you.
From: egg [egg]
Date: 4-Oct-2007 20:58
I'm not buying this "1 donut" line. It's more likely she stole a whole carton of doughnuts, and the cop just didn't want the smooshed one.
From: csi [can't stand idiots]
Date: 4-Oct-2007 23:57
bet she was a piggy- piggy
From: rotteneggs13
[a bakers dozen]
Date: 5-Oct-2007 01:12
<<Police were tipped off to the theft by witnesses at the store, and within minutes they found the woman hiding across the street at a nearby business, they said.>> -----+-----+----- WOW, the crime of the century, well done Watson. And the cops arrived on the scene so quickly, hmmmmmm [thinking here] Could it be that duh-nuts were involved? ***************** From: dogsbody [nobody] Date: 4-Oct-2007 19:45 A donut hole and a cup of steam please. Thank you. -----+-----+----- And a one side piece of paper.
From: ciaochowbella [I didn't do it and I wasn't there when it happened]
Date: 5-Oct-2007 04:45
From: rotteneggs13 [a bakers dozen] Date: 5-Oct-2007 01:15 I goofed. supposed to say a 'one SIDED piece of paper' lo siento --------------- Lo ciento. Si tu quieren escribar en Espanol, escribas las letras de las palabras corecto. Gracias.
From: ladyjanegrey
Date: 5-Oct-2007 06:01
This would be a funnier story if the perp was a guy who stored the purloined doughnuts on his winkie. Why would you put it down your pants? You have a perfectly good boob cleavage for that sort of thing, and not near any nasty orifice. This woman is a classless heifer.
From: ciaochowbella [I didn't do it and I wasn't there when it happened]
Date: 5-Oct-2007 06:30
From: pontiuspilatus [Pontius Phallus Pilatius] Date: 5-Oct-2007 05:16 Quando se bebe acqui? ------------------- Cuando es su nino aqui? (When is your baby here?) Obviously, you don't speak Spanish.
From: johnq [Poster]
Date: 5-Oct-2007 06:47
Wouldn't you think she could have just stood there and ate the donught and all they prob. would have done is thrown her outta the store. Maby she 'wanted to get caught' or somthing like that it says she was running from the cops (had a warrent) so I a gussing this nonsence has something to do with her being wanted.. You has to look at the big picture.
From: assholius
[ikthool]
Date: 5-Oct-2007 08:54
One of the businesses across the street from the store is a wine and spirit shop(state store here in PA). If she hid in there she's in really deep shit. Bringing a purloined pastry into a state store probably carries it's own set of charges along with a PLCB fine.
From: slyslick [andwicked]
Date: 5-Oct-2007 11:46
Chocolate glazed after all was said and done.
From: peewee [Blarghhhh!]
Date: 5-Oct-2007 12:23
Maybe she had a pastry-ass type fetish.
From: sp00k
Date: 5-Oct-2007 14:16
I'll bet they didn't need one of those trained dogs to find it. A cop can smell a doughnut a mile a way.
From: sp00k
Date: 5-Oct-2007 14:47
Maybe she wanted her salad tossed. With a jelly filled doughnut.
From: juanzaponatime [not your average fairy tail]
Date: 5-Oct-2007 14:48
My first thought was that they called 911 to report this. Stealing a donut is an emergency? I always call 911 just to make a cop cum....er, come.
From: ciaochowbella [I didn't do it and I wasn't there when it happened]
Date: 5-Oct-2007 16:02
From: zontar [Expect the Unexpected] Date: 5-Oct-2007 15:16 Sticky fingers or stinky fingers? ----------------- Yes.
From: snatchvondrippy [snatch]
Date: 5-Oct-2007 16:53
sticky, stinky, chunky fingers and a cruller in the trou
From: sawgunner [Doug]
Date: 5-Oct-2007 19:18
Well, they found the doughnut, but not the salami.
From: daredevil [CameronVale]
Date: 5-Oct-2007 19:24
It's hard to write a song with bitter fingers So much to prove, so few to tell you why Those old die-hards in Denmark Street start laughing At the keyboard player's hollow haunted eyes It seems to me a change is really needed I'm sick of tra-la-las and la-de-das No more long days hocking hunks of garbage Bitter fingers never swung on swinging stars, swinging stars
Updated: 11-Oct-2007 14:38
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