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Anal Alcoholic
Wire Services | Submitted by: Underpantism
"Charges have been dropped against a Texas woman who was accused of giving her husband a sherry enema that killed him, the prosecutor in the case said on Wednesday."
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From: pontiuspilatus
[Pontius Phallus Pilatius]
Date: 6-Oct-2007 15:42
"At the time of Warner's indictment in 2005, police told the Houston Chronicle the woman had given her husband two large bottles of sherry, which raised his blood alcohol level to 0.47 percent, or nearly six times the level considered legally drunk in Texas." That was me and I'm really pissed off by the fact that she killed me.
From: daredevil [CameronVale]
Date: 6-Oct-2007 15:56
She told the newspaper her husband was addicted to enemas and often used alcohol in that manner. Fucking hilarious! And something I have never tried..........Snatchy; break out the funnel and the Harvey's Bristol Creme. (if you're a good little natch I'll fill your glass afters!)
From: snatchvondrippy [snatch]
Date: 6-Oct-2007 16:01
ooh-ooh-let's use jaegermeister for that minty fresh, nyquil post-drip
From: schwad [Toaque Hardie]
Date: 6-Oct-2007 16:22
he's lucky he's dead. a ass hangover is worse than death.
From: huwatng [Hue]
Date: 6-Oct-2007 16:23
I just saw this on Spike TV, on the "Manswers" show. They said the absolute quickest way to get drunk fast was to pour booze in your butthole, so the alcohol goes straight into your bloodstream without being partially metabolized first. The show also offered tips on how to tell a real hooker from an undercover cop. The best tip: ask the gal to do some nude modelling for you first. There is nothing illegal about that in the privacy of a hotel room, if she is just modelling. Therefore, a REAL hooker might do it and a cop would never do it, since it's not an arrestable offense.
From: abluecommunist
[Red is for republicans, dammit!]
Date: 6-Oct-2007 16:24
Snatch, one time I was knocking back some Jack Daniels and some cunt said something funny right as I was drinking it, so I laughed and the booze went straight out my nose. When the searing, agonizing pain subsided I found myself absolutely shit faced after one shot through the nose. Quite economical, if not excruciating.
From: gargoyle1
Date: 6-Oct-2007 16:27
I hope it was a really cheap sherry, like Boons Farm or something, otherwise, what a waste of a good Sherry. I'm certainly not drinking it after he's done with it. Honey, does this sherry taste like ass to you?
From: wansu [Turd Roller]
Date: 6-Oct-2007 16:30
How bad do you have to want to get drunk to squirt alcohol up your ass?
From: daredevil [CameronVale]
Date: 6-Oct-2007 16:40
Would you hit it Ron? (no...NOT the guy)
From: snatchvondrippy [snatch]
Date: 6-Oct-2007 16:53
jack daniels up the nose is right up there with circular saw to the nips-gack or sommit
From: slyslick [andwicked]
Date: 6-Oct-2007 17:14
Jesus, how much of a drunk do you have to be? I believe the day I find myself shoving a bong up my ass, because smoking it does nothing, is the day I check myself into rehab. Just saying. Speaking of which.....
From: abluecommunist
[Red is for republicans, dammit!]
Date: 6-Oct-2007 17:17
sly: Not a regular bong, a beer bong. It's a funnel and a tube, not a glass pipe. You pour the beer in and chug it, or if it's up your ass, it pours in and there's no puking involved if you drink too fast. It's basically the fastest way to get massive amounts of alcohol into your body. Not necessarily the best way, but.. lol, but.
From: snatchvondrippy [snatch]
Date: 6-Oct-2007 17:24
nips/necks-they merge somewhere
From: jaybegood
[Sir Robin of D'Hood]
Date: 6-Oct-2007 17:47
I don't know, putting good alcohol up your ass, just might alter the flavor. But I'm glad to know about this. I'd been planning on using massive amounts of alcohol as my "exit plan" and was worried I wouldn't be able to stay sober to do the job. Now it appears all I have to do is "put it in both ends" and viola! The job's done! Thanks guys!
From: fucktardmama [fook-me]
Date: 6-Oct-2007 18:00
At work we use milk of molasses enemas for constipated patients. Makes their pooh smell like molasses cookies. I wonder if sherry is stong enough to make pooh smell like sherry?
From: daredevil [CameronVale]
Date: 6-Oct-2007 18:09
Hey Mama..........do you use one these when the patient defecates; soft drivin', slow and mad, like some new language? 
From: noracejusthuman
[Alien From Earth]
Date: 6-Oct-2007 18:09
Another advantage with this approach it seems to me, is that you could get at least two people drunk with the same alcohol..You pour it in..and then have that person "expel" the extra leftovers into a "container" or ..hell ..directly into another's mouth. good times. Gives a whole new meaning to the word ..recycle.
From: sawgunner [Doug]
Date: 6-Oct-2007 19:21
How in the hell could you keep from laughing at that funeral?
From: johncobb1972 [john]
Date: 6-Oct-2007 19:23
This was just on T.V. yesterday! On the Manswers show. If you stuff alcohol up your ass it doesn't get broken down by the stomach before it gets sucked into your bloodstream. Very dangerous! Not Good for you or your butt!!
From: abluecommunist
[Red is for republicans, dammit!]
Date: 6-Oct-2007 20:04
I should ask for an MME the next time I'm in the emergency room for whatever reason. Hopefully I won't have lost so much blood that remembering this won't be a problem. Oh, I went cold turkey off my seroquel. I haven't slept more than 3 hours in 3 days. I feel hung over sans headache and nausea...I just feel really shitty. I have tremors in my hands and I am a bit more nearsighted than usual. Oh well. Theres always alcohol to smooth the transition out a bit.
From: bgolds
Date: 6-Oct-2007 22:52
C'mon! What's wrong with you guys?! No one made a 'bottoms-up' joke yet? Or 'I think I'll have a Hiney?' Maybe a Butt-weiser chaser? I know- make it my usual: Fleet's with a twist. Do I have to spoon-feed you these gems?  Oh, and what do these two dudes have to do with the article? I think the one on the left wrote 'Rhinestone Cowboy' and fixed my muffler.
From: abluecommunist
[Red is for republicans, dammit!]
Date: 6-Oct-2007 22:57
bgolds, fix my profile in yours. I live in Fullerton, not Garden Grove. I live CLOSE to Garden grove, that's what I told cainmarko. I am also 23, single, and have an alcohol problem. I have two cats and I attend the art institute here in OC. Hope that helps clarify matters a bit.
From: huwatng [Hue]
Date: 6-Oct-2007 23:05
give it up, abc. bgolds is so wrong that he will never admit he is wrong. you're just trying to confuse him.
From: kareeshus [Okana]
Date: 7-Oct-2007 06:58
How exactly do you snort liquor up your nose like that anyway? Once I was having my first drink of the night, a whiskey, and as I drank it I sort of coughed or something and I blew it right up the nose. Having heard of this phenomenon before, I thought perhaps it was going to get me very drunk, but nothing really happened. Except of course for the PAIN! And I could smell nothing but whiskey for the next 2 days. And in response to somebody else, I don't think you could take bong water up the butt for any real effect. Isn't bong water mostly just remnants of the tar and wotnot? THC doesn't normally dissolve well into water. I think I'll pass.
From: ciaochowbella [I didn't do it and I wasn't there when it happened]
Date: 7-Oct-2007 08:21
Who thinks of consuming alcohol anally? Who was the first guy to say, "I need beer in my butt"? BTW, doesn't it burn your ass like it burns your throat?
From: lastlaugh06 [lester lipspray]
Date: 7-Oct-2007 11:59
I submitted this last week as "Drunken asshole" but life isn't always fair.
From: bgolds
Date: 7-Oct-2007 12:16
It's not what he says that's wrong. it's how he says it, that's disturbing. __________ ?
From: nomdeplume [NomDeGuerre]
Date: 7-Oct-2007 12:54
Damnit, what a lousy idea! I just tried it with a bottle of Hefeweizen and the foam backed up so far it's running out my nose right now. Yech.
From: chinnuts
[Got Three For Ya]
Date: 7-Oct-2007 15:35
Intoxicants up the butt always work quicker than drinking them, with the exception of firing them into the vein. I read an article about Don Simpson of Bruckheimer/Simpson movie producing fame in Playboy. It was about his last days. The hookers told the police that they had administered more than a few coffee enemas to him. I wonder, does that cure a hangover? Anyway, in the Big Fun coke fueled days I dated a girl that had an apparatus with two butterfly valves and a twist sleeve that she liked to have loaded with blow and inserted into her ass. After loading the sleeve with coke, I would put it into her rectum, open both valves and "blow" the blow into her ass. Fuck-N-A did that girl get high. Pretty economical too. It only took 1/4 as much as anyone else sucking it up their nose. If you're trying to picture the apparatus, think Bernoulli Principle.
From: mencken
Date: 7-Oct-2007 16:07
From: daredevil [CameronVale] Date: 6-Oct-2007 18:09 Hey Mama..........do you use one these when the patient defecates; soft drivin', slow and mad, like some new language? ------------------------------- They defecate cool and slow with plenty of precision With a back beat narrow and hard to master; Some call it heavenly in its brilliance Others, mean and rueful of the Western dream.
From: pontiuspilatus
[Pontius Phallus Pilatius]
Date: 7-Oct-2007 16:08
From: nomdeplume [NomDeGuerre] Date: 7-Oct-2007 12:54 Damnit, what a lousy idea! I just tried it with a bottle of Hefeweizen and the foam backed up so far it's running out my nose right now. Yech. ---------- Ahahahaha! Good to read something funny again. Should fat people ram their cakes and burgers up their asses, I wonder?
From: mrsstipic [Mrs. Stipic]
Date: 7-Oct-2007 16:42
Once, long ago, I saw the frustrated wife of a chronic juicer tell him to take his booze and stick it up his ass. I don't think it was the same people in the article, though. Enemas can come in handy if you need to absorb something and your upper floors are best not involved, for whatever reason, in the situation. Stagnant water, or even sea water can be introduced via asspipe to save the day in a desperate situation. Remember that next time you're lost in the jungle or adrift in the ocean.
From: rotteneggs13
[a bakers dozen]
Date: 7-Oct-2007 18:03
Great green gobs of grimy, greasy gopher guts, Marinated monkey meat, Baby birdies' bloody feet. All four quarts of all purpose porpoise pus, And me without my fork & spoon.
From: daredevil [CameronVale]
Date: 7-Oct-2007 18:47
 That is a look of guilt there.....my rab displays a like expression upon his furry features whence he has summarily chewed through some expensive headphone wire!
From: wulfgarthewhite [Black to White]
Date: 7-Oct-2007 20:22
I'll not insert the But-Lite joke here - OOPS, too late! Really, if you need a booze hit that bad then I.V. is surely the way to go. Even Moslems can use it cause it doesn't pass the lips. No, I don't give a shit how Moslems get around their stupid rules any more than I care how Xian/Jooz ignore theirs. I'm glad I hate needles cause I like the taste of ferment. Yeah pass me the doobie too. I've got chunk-style Skippy in the cupboard.
From: underpantism [Skippy Duffin]
Date: 8-Oct-2007 04:42
Well it still makes me all a quiver to see my name up in lights on dailyrotten. But I want to contribute more. If any rotteneers/rottentots want to see pics of my deformed genitalia before I go under the knife do please let me know and I may get around to hooking up the digital cam. May be the only chance you get to see a grotesquely swollen testicle (if your lucky!). I just want to contribute to this site that has given me so much :o)
From: ladyjanegrey
Date: 8-Oct-2007 07:35
Sherry Enema? I think I went to high school with her. I do not get the obsession with things going into or out of the ass. Granted I'm not a male homosexual nor a fetishist. Those shitty pictures are all kinds of disturbing. On a side note, I once typed up an ER medical report about a guy who had a broken glass bud vase up his ass and needed it removed. He gave an elaborate description of falling on this thing and having it accidentally insert up his rectum. Even the doctor was laughing.
From: rotteneggs13
[a bakers dozen]
Date: 8-Oct-2007 10:57
From: androloma [the Manchurian Centurion] Date: 8-Oct-2007 05:05 Cool poem, re13. -----+-----+----- Thanx, but I cannot take credit. It's an old camp-fire song. I'm not that talented.
From: teratomarty
[Self-made man]
Date: 8-Oct-2007 14:13
Jesus H, I leave for the weekend, and look what people get up to. Booze up the ass, huh? Wouldn't that burn? I understand (from the blog Gaijinsmash.net) that the Japanese are big fans of putting drugs, both recreational and therapeutic, up the ass. No report as to whether that's most effective, or they just enjoy it.
From: rotteneggs13
[a bakers dozen]
Date: 8-Oct-2007 15:11
<<I understand (from the blog Gaijinsmash.net) that the Japanese are big fans of putting drugs, both recreational and therapeutic, up the ass.>> -----+-----+----- Why am I not surprised by this Marty? The Japanese and their love of things scattish. What do they do when Godzilla takes a dump? Prolly swim in it.
Updated: 12-Oct-2007 14:47
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