Pats moves to take the top of the list----

From: patsystonecheers [Patsy Stone]
Date: 13-May-2009 18:57
Who would ever have thought our Phoe is
a modern-day muse?

I can check that off my list -- "get a muse"
"Done"
~~~~~
From: daredevil [CameronVale]
Date: 8-Mar-2009 22:49

The Phoenix-byrd doth display a seldom-manifested fier-ed-ness of wing-ed verbiage and avian-ish tongue-ery.

'Half buried to her flaming breast
In this bright tree, she makes her nest,
Hundred sunn'd Phoenix! When she must
Crumble at length to hoary dust!

Her gorgeous death-bed! Her rich pyre
Burnt up with aromatic fire!
Her urn, sight high from spoiler men!
Her birthplace when self-born again!'
- George Darley
(1795 - 1846)
~~~~~
From: daredevil [CameronVale]
Date: 21-Mar-2009 15:08

By feathers green, across Casbeen
The pilgrims track the Phoenix flown,
By gems he strew'd in waste and wood,
And jewell'd plumes at random thrown:

Till wandering far, by moon and star,
They stand beside the fruitful pyre,
Where breaking bright with sanguine light
The impulsive bird forgets his sire.

Those ashes shine like ruby wine,
Like bag of Tyrian murex split,
The claw, the jowl of the flying fowl
Are with the glorious anguish gilt.

So rare the light, so rich the sight,
Those pilgrim men, on profit bent,
Drop hands and eyes and merchandise,
And are with gazing most content.
"The Phoenix"
by Arthur Christopher Benson
_____
From: merrillvillain [yeah ........ that merrillville]
Date: 11-Oct-2007 21:51

The 9 year old is lame and scared of her own shadow.
I have taught the ten year old one how to field strip
a AR-15 underwater while under the influnce of CIA administered
LSD. Plus she can make grilled cheese with fried green tomatoes
and bacon.
_____
From: theodread [{One More Time}]
Date: 17-Oct-2007 15:59

I've been thinking about my upcoming nuptial ceremony.

Not that I'd thought that I hadn't thought about it, because I did think that I had thought about it.

But in thinking it thought about, I thought the thoughts about it were all thought out.

Yet if the thoughts about it were all thought out, I wouldn't be thinking about it.

I think the more I've thought about it, the more I think I should have thought about it.
_____
From: daredevil [CameronVale]
Date: 18-Oct-2007 20:14

I have been collecting torn/cut off nipples since age 15 and have a long sixties-style necklace fashioned from the same.

Sure........you have to deal with the hackneyed screaming and usual pitiful pleading; and it has become reeking and verminous over the passage of time.

(but when I wear it.....I ALWAYS achieve instant wood!)


Err..just joshing; I'll inform you when they knock my door down!
_____
From: cracker666 [honkey Infidel]
Date: 20-Nov-2007 13:07

There are so many I can't just name one.

Jello sushi
Strawberry popsicle with ranch dressing
Corn-dog covered with chocolate
Lime jello with bacon bits
Sausage milkshake
Fudge bars with little bits of corn inside, topped with carrot shavings
Chocolate-covered shrimp
Magic-Shell-covered shrimp
Cornflakes with catsup
Omlette with marshmallow creme inside
Taco with cherries in the meat sauce
Chili with Junior Mints
Starburst with garlic spread
Carmel-coated lima beans
Smores made with hamburger patties
Apple wedges and raw garlic cloves
_____
From: pontiuspilatus [Pontius Phallus Pilatius]
Date: 22-Nov-2007 07:01

One of my kitchen chairs is flirting with me.

Should I hit it?
_____
From: thesickthsense [iseewhitepeople!]
Date: 12-Dec-2007 09:19

Phoe, your common sense and divine protection for the
battered tss has earned one (1) TSS Shagging Certificate.

This certificate entitles you to a night of complete and
utter deep-penetrating bliss, laced with euphoric spankings
and nipple nibbles that will transcend your understanding
of pleasure into another realm entirely. You'll come in
phoe, and leave PHOE.

PS - please make sure you come prepared! Items you will
need include pain suppressors such as Vicodin (or Crack,
Cocaine), Golashes and Waterproof jackets, Gauss, QR
powder, Cucumbers carrots and oranges, and most importantly,
a Catalytic Converter from a 1992 Chevy Silverado.

Thank You - TSS

PS - You are required to sign a release form before you
enter my dungeon, and are not allowed to speak of the 30
or so sex slaves that will be forced to serve you while I
pillage your vagina, mouth and ass.
_____
From: assholius [ikthool]
Date: 13-Dec-2007 01:56

Speaking of short asses

The (American) slaves were promised by some official "40 acres and a mule" when they were freed.

I have a friend who's half black half white .

I suggested that he try for 20 acres and a burro,
but being quite pragmatic he assumes if those reparations are ever made the government will make it his white half's responsibility to pay his debt to his black half.
_____
From: pibble [thewonderdwarf]
Date: 13-Dec-2007 02:00

You know, and forgive me if I get a little "deep" here, on the whole I am pretty much O.K. with America and the American people, I feel we Brits have quite a lot in common with you guys and some of the more American traits I find admirable.

You guys are a shit load more enthusiastic and positive ( on the whole) than we are and your rampant dedication to consumerism is to be admired.

There are, however 2 traits which, frankly , get on my tits a bit.
Firstly is the insane idea that being "blue collar" is in some way admirable and worthy. Think Bruce Springsteen.

In reality, any sensible person would do their utmost NOT to have to sweat their guts out for "the man" and take how a pittance every week.

Second, and I think the 2 are related, is the aggresive boastfulness so commonly seen on these very threads.

The finest example I ever did see was on a boat in Hawaii where the tour guide guy began arguing with a guy from another island who dared to suggest that the harbour on Kauai was "better" than the harbour on "Maui".

I mean, who the FUCK CARES ! but these two would not shut up ! They were at it for about an hour ! Jeez !

Anyway, excuse rant.
On the whole, I consider you the good guys.

Except duder who is a lazy ass son of a two bit Tijauana whore.

NEW ARTICLES MO'FO
_____
From: tosslebottom [Shake eet]
Date: 18-Dec-2007 00:30

Phoe, congratulations, you're a fucking legend mate.
_____
From: abluecommunist [Red is for republicans, dammit!]
Date: 31-Dec-2007 14:14

NR: I've never once taken a typing class. I hunt and peck with three, maybe four fingers tops. Sometimes I'll write out a huge ass response, but I ALWAYS read and re-read what I've written to make sure I'm saying what I mean to say.

Sure, stuff sometimes comes out wrong. But all you have to do is just a little basic editing. Try reading it aloud. Does it flow well? Does it sound like babbling or well-organized thought? Rule of thumb: If it sounds good, it usually is good (at least from a English teacher's perspective).

I'm no English major. I qualified for honors English in high school, but as I was (am?) a lazy pothead I told them to fuck off. I think my writing ability (whatever that may be worth) comes from reading so many books, magazines, newspapers, blogs, zines, whatever I can get in the written word I read and do my damnedest to fully comprehend.

By reading everything I can in so many different styles of writing, I have gained the ability to determine what is good writing, and what is shitty writing. I've seen high school kids in first year journalism put out some really well-written articles/editorials, and professional writers in Time spew out some illegible slop I wouldn't even find fit to wipe my ass with.

The key to any skill is practice. Innate skill is really very insignificant unless you're a savant or something on that level. I don't pretend to be a good writer, just coherent and well-understood.
_____
From: bukweat [otay]
Date: 1-Jan-2008 06:49

Top 10 new year resolutions:
1. I resolve... I resolve to... I resolve to, uh... I resolve to, uh, get my, er... I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too!

2. I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning... 4:30 is much more practical.

3. When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!"

4. I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person.

5. I will try to figure out why I *really* need 9 e-mail addresses.

6. I will stop sending e-mail to my roommate.

7. I resolve to work with neglected children... my own.

8. I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm I answer e-mail.

9. When I subscribe to a newsgroup or mailing list, I will read all the mail I get from it.

10. I will stop using, "So, what's your URL?" as a pickup line.
_____
From: theodread [{One More Time}]
Date: 1-Jan-2008 06:55

This year, I resolve to...

- Gain another 25 pounds.
- Stop exercising.
- Read less.
- Watch more TV.
- Procrastinate more (Starting tomorrow).
- Get in a whole NEW rut!
- Spend my summer vacation in Cyberspace.
- Eat only cloned meat.
- Create loose ends.
- Get further in debt.
- Transmit more inter-species diseases.
- Spread out my priorities beyond my ability to keep track of them.
- Wait around for opportunity.
- Focus on the faults of others.
- Mope about my faults.
_____
From: stfu [yeah, it's me]
Date: 3-Jan-2008 09:53

steph, it's complicated, basically no two people like the same two people.

everyone hate someone, except for ABC, he's like Mikey, he likes everyone.

and for that, i hate him.
_____
From: athenstexman [Ron]
Date: 10-Jan-2008 15:38

To the window, to the wall, (to dat wall)
To the sweat drop down my balls (MY BALLS)
To all these bitches crawl (crawl)
To all skeet skeet motherfucker (motherfucker!) all skeet skeet got dam (Got
dam)
To all skeet skeet motherfucker (motherfucker!) all skeet skeet got dam (Got
dam)
_____
http://forums.dailyrotten.com/289/00022223/_index.html#228807

From: rottenstaff [Rotten Staff Duder] STAFF
Date: 2-Aug-2006 22:10

What should Rotten's Troll Policy be, anyway?

Being a troll on Daily Rotten's forums is probably not a lot of fun. It takes a while for staff to notice. Yes, we shoo out pests (mostly with a broom) and remove their posts afterwards. If this freaks you out or makes you sad, know that this is a very rare event. Still... MY HOUSE, GUS!

According to the Batcomputer that runs the forums:

August 2006: Removed two (2) users (so far...)
July 2006: Removed four (4) users
June 2006: No users removed
May 2006: Removed four (4) users
April 2006: No users removed

Not a bad record for the 9,068 users we have right now. The low number of blocked accounts has more to do with Rotten Staff being lazy. Of the accounts that are removed, actual trolls are rare, mostly the offenders have done the "first post" thing. All I do is hide their comments and enable the account later. The "first post" thing doesn't really bug me, I just think it's funny to lock an account for that reason.

Trolls can be reported via e-mail, use the address posted here.
http://www.rotten.com/about/contact.html
In the past, trolls have been discovered by yours truly when I get around to reading today's forums.
Also: The tt tag is disabled for now.
_____
From: thesickthsense [iseewhitepeople!]
Date: 5-Mar-2008 20:47

Hey !! We can play "guess the nzgirl's age" !!

I guess I'll be theoistic and guess what others will
guess what nzgirl's age will be.

stfu="probly 17"
gerbil="22 and pregnant"
theo="I guess he guesses the guessing was just a guestimate of..."
gypsy="who cares!"
sensuous="she sounds cool to me. is it 25."
commie="21? start the revolution!"
dd="I'll intimate that perhaps her bosom is corinthean; nigh short of rome!"
pube="eh?"
sky="how old? 23 sounds about right."
andy="nice to meet you welcome to Rotten nzgirl! "
tss="are they white? black tits are 30% more likely to chafe in winter! ahhh!"
gargoyle="she sounds 30ish to me. only boob picts can tell for sure."
ds="what?"
bascha="who cares about her name? she's cool!"
fucknut="LOL her name reminds me BACK in THE day bLAh blAh lbaH"
rf="fucktard"
pontius="new zealand is asian, ain't it? hi."
absinthe="i'm delighted. her age matters little. how about 25?"
ralph="whats it fuckin matter ? dirty water. rapid sunshine. brisk. etc.."
morte="id say nzgirl was around 28. Now, I could be wrong. *shrug*"
t2="do we have any clues? how accurate is guessing without clues?"
phoe="clues like what? it's not knowing that is the fun part. i say 22!"
bp="why hasn't anyone guesses higher? i say 35."
toss="bitch"
cats="hi bitch! :)"
fiend="great another bitch."
fm="whats wrong with more bitches? are you around 30 bitch? ;-)"
zilla="yeah. hey nzgirl, how's it goin? im sayin 29."
bella="me and my mister think 30."
dickhead="nz=northern zenith. girl=fertile, sun, god.. she's of age, idiots."
bbbm="probably more fucked up than a nizzers checkbook!"
pk="yeah ha we sre can guess. i say smthing like 23 bu who knows i dfont."
elfboy="I am ELFBOY! WOOHOOOO! 28, it's great! ELFBOY!"
doc="i hope you're not black, if so.. watch out for that flouncer tss."
crnky="i bet her tits sag as bad as her posts bore."
dink="w00t! Homer!"
gerbil="(lame porn pic) 23"
ikthool="nz, i can guess your age. what do I get for it?"
sp00k="I get the feeling she's around 25? maybe 27."
steve="the beer says 20."
aulduron="her age from birth, or from conception?"
ct="probably not old enough to be posting with adults. MTC"
mike="NZ. the canada of australia. I understand."
andro="(awesome gif of some tragic nz-related event)"
snatch="eh? i reckon she ha what eh takes, ya shakin yer trees?"
cracker="(LOL gif)"
ez="LOL cracker! aren't you going to guess?"
cain="please.! tell me yer under 18.!!"

Stopping. Hands hurting... too many.

How many of you are there?
_____
From: rotteneggs13 [a bakers dozen]
Date: 19-Mar-2008 15:44

While Googling plans for the suicide-bot I came across this
interesting method of exiting this world:

You go up to the top of a roof.
String piano wire tight across the front edge at neck level.

Tie a cord to your foot and the other end to the building so that you'll be above sidewalk level when its fully stretched, then you put super glue on your hands and put your arms around the front of the wire and then back to touch your head.

Then you lean forward, so the piano wire cuts your neck but not your elbows
when the cord goes taut, you'll be hanging upside down with no head....except your head will be in your outstretched arms thanks to gravity and the glue, staring at someone upside down and spewing blood everywhere.

And some poor bastard will be traumatized for LIFE.
_____
From: thepube [adarklittlesecret]
Date: 20-Mar-2008 08:39

"Now, I'll give 5:1 odds she suicided - any takers?"

Word on the street (la rue)
is that she suicided by robot but,
not being a scientist and stuff, had
to settle, for a Furby with a razor blade.
______
From: thesickthsense [iseewhitepeople!]
Date: 20-Mar-2008 08:54

Heraclitus, nice avatar. What painting is that from? It looks familiar
as hell...

You need to post it in one of your posts... then copy the image src link.
To copy the image src link... right click on the image and select
"Copy image location" ... NOT ---> "Copy link location".

Rotten creates two copies of an image when you post it. One, the thumbnail
(which is what you see in the post), and the second is an actual copy of
the original image (in all of its big ORG glory).

So, what you want to do is edit the link to make it:

1.) Point to ROTTEN as the backend... this way you are guaranteed that your
avatar is always visible. Rotten runs some wide pipes, and besides... if you're
on rotten, you know you have access to those images.

2.) Remove the "t." at the beginning of the name.

It will look something like this:
".../stupid/29/b1/t.29b1b5790efe6caca2f0f2bd431cf05a.jpg"

After removing the "t." from the file name, it would look like this:
".../stupid/29/b1/29b1b5790efe6caca2f0f2bd431cf05a.jpg"

Once you've done that, you're guaranteed a working avatar that serves fast.

Always.
_____
From: androloma [the Manchurian Centurion]
Date: 11-Apr-2008 15:01

How clean clear crystal are my eyes cleansed with the salve of wisdom! My vision sees only one nothing in everything. With aid I have done good deeds and found all casual knowledge glorious; with old delusions passed I blend into big beat godhead.
Sung into reality by the voice of the universe from the empty skies and bathed in our corporation tee shirts do we fritter our beings on glittering diamond shores.
Echoing existence softly we feel reciprocating warmth. Merge. Valleys dark, canyons deep� and all spin away shifting amongst the images of turbulent terrain. It�s stranger than flying, bent in abstracts around these curious shafts of light but the experience enables us to burst dazzling bright and free, limitless in the solar winds. Spiraling in random deft fluctuations below, the Earth still turns. Get an eyeful of us, pathets! We are sadly shadows away, swirling into oblivion abandon.

Thought I'd write something for a change.
_____
From: androloma [the Manchurian Centurion]
Date: 13-Apr-2008 03:36

We come on to this site to be ourselves, and to have fun.

Speaking for myself, I get enough physical exertion at work; posting frequently on daily rotten is my form of relaxation. Dear sirbutlust, I already have a bike and ride it when the weather's nice. Rather pleasant of you to be so concerned about ourselves, though.

Where else may I find out about different people's perspectives on a range of diverse topics? Opinions on the vagaries of the human condition abound here, and the entire experience laid out before us to wallow into and grok in fullness.

And as far as popularity... who cares? We hate each other, we like each other, we annoy one another... and all for what? So that we can cloak ourselves in anonymous identities, and participate in the human condition of verbalized opinion. Who else ever solicits our opinions? After having participated in working for a living, it's all there, for each of us to accept or reject. An uncensored forum, onto which we may all spill our thoughts on an even playing field.

Plato said that the unexamined life isn't worth living. Ssshh, be vewy vewy quiet. I'm examining.
_____
From: theodread [{One More Time}]
Date: 13-Apr-2008 04:26

I came for the headlines, and stayed for the head lines.
_____
From: merrillvillain [yeah ........ that merrillville]
Date: 13-Apr-2008 23:42

merrillvillain is in love.

Sad but true.
~~~~~
From: merrillvillain [yeah ........ that merrillville]
Date: 13-Apr-2008 23:56

daredevil

let me tell you all about her
in the eloquence on the mid 60's brother

A wiggle and a walk and a giggle and a talk made the world go round
There ain't nothing in the world
Like a big eyed girl to make me act so funny make me spend my money
Make me fool real loose like a long necked goose
Like a girl oh baby that's what I like
_____
From: studgerbil [Stud]
Date: 25-Apr-2008 14:21

1)Would other people think that my suspicions are realistic?
They are blind sheeple who believe what THEY tell them.

2)What would my best friend say?
Best friend? Is this some sort of sick joke?

3)Have I talked to others about my worries?
Yeah -- like they can't already read my mind.

4)Is it possible that I have exaggerated the threat?
Ask me that when it's too freakin late.

5)Is there any indisputable evidence for my suspicions?
You know damn well there is, somewhere.

6)Are my worries based on ambiguous events?
There are no coincidences.

7)Are my worries based on my feelings rather than on indisputable evidence?
There is no difference.

8)Is it likely that I would be singled out above anyone else?
Well duh. They always go for the ones who know too much first.

9)Is there any evidence that runs contrary to my suspicions?
No real evidence.

10)Is it possible that I'm being at all oversensitive?
Don't get cute with ME mister.

11)Do my suspicions persist despite reassurance from others that they are unfounded?
If they only knew the truth.
_____
From: theodread [{One More Time}]
Date: 8-May-2008 03:34

1- obtain new computer
2- push it to it's limits
3- act surprised when something on it goes tits up.
4- repair computer
5- repeat steps 2 through 5 until computer is unrepairable
6- build new computer from spare parts of previously killed machines.
7- repeat steps 2 through 6 until I can manage a step one maneuver.
8- repeat steps 1 through 7.
_____
From: rottenand [peeling]
Date: 8-May-2008 18:56

the ffa, a kind of flaunting of insular, cliqueish behaviour in an otherwise balanced website
~~~~~
For the slow people he said we are a big clique that shamelessly
exibits narrow-minded or illiberal; provincial: insular attitudes toward foreigners on the FFA and it is ruining rotten.
rottenand [peeling]=foreigner
Do me a favor, dear, if you read this ever, fuck off. If you don't like it
leave.
_____
What's it all mean?
Are there monitors monitoring the moniters?

From: quietbone [quiet dry rattling bone]
Date: 18-May-2008 10:26

for internal use only

Sir

We effected the forensic audit on the server located at 216.218.248.***. We are compiling information on the subjects, one of whom seems to be monitoring us.

The summer intern position is going well.

Toni
_____
From: pontius
Date: 19-May-2008 07:26

What if we had two sandys? I wouldn't know the plural of shitty-pants. The two pairs of shitty-pants?

To answer your question, you're right. Many Portuguese are called Portuguese, whereas a single habitant of Portugal is a Portugoose.
_____
From: studgerbil [Stud]
Date: 20-May-2008 18:38

well, it works for most uses of "shit", but there are exceptions.

for example, I wouldn't use it as a positive reference:
you score some fine pot, you would still say, "This is some really
good shit." "Good sandy" just doesn't work, not for me anyway.

and as a exclamation, I'm just not sure. You react to something bad,
with "Shit!" or "Oh shit!". Not sure if "Sandy!" works as well.

But for most uses of shit it works very well. I would even go so far
as to use sandy to replace skidmark:

"You stupid beeatch - you left a sandy on your panties!
How I'm gonna sell 'em on ebay now?"

And it goes without saying that you could replace "Gay" with "sandy"
to good effect:

"Look at that guy drinking the Zima. He's so Sandy!"
_____
From: patsystonecheers [Patsy Stone]
Date: 29-May-2008 08:24

Homemade Kahlua

3 cups sugar
3 cups water
10 teaspoons instant coffee
(OR instead of 3 cups water and 10 teaspoons instant coffee, use 3 cups brewed coffee)
3 cups vodka
3 teaspoons vanilla extract



In a medium-sized pot, simmer sugar, water, and coffee for one hour.

Turn off heat and add vodka and vanilla extract; stir well. Transfer Kahlua into clean containers. Refrigerate to store.

YUM!
_____
1. Get Firefox.
2. Install this plugin:

https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/2021

Click "Add to Firefox"
_____
From: ikthool [ikthool]
Date: 5-Jun-2008 14:12

If I were a geneticist I'd introduce shar pei genes to chickens so that one roaster would have a square yard of crispy succulent skin.
_____
From: piscivore [Michael C. Scott]
Date: 7-Jun-2008 02:59

Best drink I ever had was five gallons of last year's pear cider. It came out at 10%. My wife and the neighbors called it "get you fucked up" juice. It was glorious.

The second-best was also my homebrew - apple-lemon cider I made from Great Value (Wal Mart store brand) frozen concentrate. 8 cans of apple juice, 4 cans of lemonade concentrate, and 2 pounds of beet sugar. Lalvin K1-V1116 brewer's yeast. More "get you fucked-up" juice.
_____
From: helterskelter
Date: 12-Jun-2008 11:49

Garg, There are so many ways to go about this.
I can't decide how to word it. Here are some points I want to make in mine.

1. Showing these images is NOT illegal.
2. No one ever said the internet has to be a nice place.
3. Parents alone are responsible for keeping an eye on what their children
do on the internet. No one else. It is no ones job to assist them.
3-A. The internet is not a playground for children and should not
be treated as such or censored because some little sprite might find
something that is intended for adults.
4. There is NO WAY someone would accidentally be exposed to the content
of ROTTEN.com. You have to look for it intentionally and it is no ones
fault if you willingly click on something and are offended by what you chose
to look at.
5. There are a multitude of programs one can obtain to block content you
don't want your children to look at. If your child accesses something
you find objectionable it is because of laziness on your part.
_____
From: heraclitus [and in measures dying out]
Date: 18-Jun-2008 20:24

Call me you iniquitous cowards: 281-900-1844

From: theodread [{One More Time}]
Date: 18-Jun-2008 20:34

Indeed it is hera's number.

From: heraclitus [and in measures dying out]
Date: 18-Jun-2008 20:36

Wow, I just had a very brief conversation with Theo on the phone. I feel special now.
_____
From: androloma [the Manchurian Centurion]
Date: 20-Jun-2008 14:19

I'd like to say one thing.

I cannot over-emphasize enough how special each
and every one of us is. We post here as the intellectual
cream of the crop in our respective populations, amongst
a crowd of others who have become so dulled by apathy and
hardship that aspiring to intellectual excellence is entirely
infeasible to them. We are the inheritors of brave new technology,
and the pioneers of cultural mores.

It would do us well to comport ourselves
in the dignity such exalted idealizations
would invoke. Young ones will look up to us.
Let us not be distracted by petty issues, but rather
let us band together to defeat true foes.

I am mostly interested in mediating
a conciliation between you two. Do
you see how vicmasterblower calls our
maturity into question? Why do we hurt,
and desire to dull the pain by spite?
_____
http://forums.dailyrotten.com/620/00029533/_index.html#775988
~~~~~
From: noracejusthuman [Alien From Earth]
Date: 15-Jul-2008 10:27

Ok , I THOUGHT you'd be WAY too chickenshit to

bet like a man.


OK pussy, yer terms..

I just HOPE yer honest,
cause I don't believe yer gonna
send me my money when Obama wins


But, I suppose if you do chicken
out I should be able
to tease you unmercifully
as a welsher and
chickenshit...

Ok buttnut
You've got a BET,

Obama WINS the Presidency You send me 1000 dollars..
if

McCain wins the Presidency I send you 1000 dollars.

Everybody witness this
post and the one following where
buttnut agrees..

Just don't blink now.

From: rectalfissure [Yea I am an Asshole so what?]
Date: 15-Jul-2008 10:35

Ok buttnut
You've got a BET,

Obama WINS the Presidency You send me 1000 dollars..
if

McCain wins the Presidency I send you 1000 dollars.
=====
agreed fucknut

From: noracejusthuman [Alien From Earth]
Date: 15-Jul-2008 10:45

Absolutely! Hot damn Tuesday!
Agreed Buttnut..

You've got yerself a BET..

Ps..

The bet money will be mailed to the winner
The morning the new President assumes office!
Jan (something) 2009.

Agreed?

From: rectalfissure [Yea I am an Asshole so what?]
Date: 15-Jul-2008 10:45

fucknut

if you win I will send you a cashier's check for $1,000.00

when you give goyle your address make sure to include all

pertinent info

( name, addresss, so forth)

I will do the same if I win.
~~~~~
End of the story or is it!? I'm gonna say not at the end of two damn years!
~~~~~
From: rectalfissure [Yea I am an Asshole so what?]
Date: 22-Nov-2008 13:40


and here it is as promised



fucknuts check

this is the last thing i am going to post about this

as you can see the fucker lied, he cashed the check after i went on vacation

why did he wait? I have no friggin idea, but this settles the matter.

I have marked out most of the banking info , but you can see he endorsed it

and deposited it to his account
_____
From: androloma [the Manchurian Centurion]
Date: 19-Jul-2008 20:10

"GTFO my racetrack! Track r 4 carz! Stands r 4 peepolz!"

_____
This whole thread must be saved for posterity.
http://forums.dailyrotten.com/692/00029605/

From: phoenixrising [out of the ashes...]
Date: 21-Jul-2008 18:56

From: pussypounder [deeppenetrator]
Date: 21-Jul-2008 18:45

would shooting you in the head be ok?
~~~~~
Look, ya'll.
This is a wonderful day in rotten history.
My first death threat.
_____
The truth shall set you free-
From: munchkin [munchkin]
Date: 2-Aug-2008 16:47

From: pontius
Date: 2-Aug-2008 16:37

Sandy, little gay prick, that's the difference between you and me - if I was a homo, I'd have said so the first day. You took 2 years to state the obvious.

By the way, I don't give a flying fuck who's gay and who isn't, but you seem to feel insulted when called gay. Gay stinker.
----
Pontius I am bi, the last time I had a chick was around 2000.

I have never dated a guy, but do have feelings for other guys, I found this out at school when I had a crush on two guys my age.

Because I've never dated a guy, that doesn't officially make me gay does it?

I wonder how many other guys here have had a 'gay' encounter or 'crush' and prefer to keep it secret, at least I'm being honest with you.

And fuck! I'm rather blotto tonight.
_____
From: patsystonecheers [Patsy Stone]
Date: 24-Sep-2008 18:53

Time to re-write the Pledge of Allegiance

I pledge allegiance to the logo
of the multinational corporation,
and through the public relations
for which it stands,
One corporation, under CEO, indivisible
with expense accounts and golden parachutes for all.
Amen.
_____
From: dontsqueak [DS is talking]
Date: 14-Oct-2008 15:48

Somebody sent me this about a kid who's actual spelling of the name is "Le-a". Yes that is exactly how it is spelled...

'How would you pronounce this student�s name: �Le-a�?
Leah? NO
Lee - A? NOPE
Lay - a? NO WAY
Lei? Guess Again.

It�s pronounced �Ledasha.� Oh, yes, you read it right. This child attends a school in Livingston Parish, LA. Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong. If you see something come across
your desk like this, please remember to pronounce it correctly.

When the mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, �The dash don�t be silent.�'.
_____
From: gargoyle1
Date: 14-Oct-2008 15:50

Just been listening to what's happening with Japanese banks at the moment. It sounds dreadful!

Apparently the Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and the Bonsai Bank has decided to cut some of its branches.

Furthermore, it�s been announced that the Karaoke Bank is to be sold and is going for a song, while the Kamikaze Bank shares have been suspended after they nose-dived.

London offices have been very hard hit with 500 staff at the Karate Bank getting the chop and rumors of some very fishy going on at Sushi Bank which I am most upset about because I had money invested there and now expect a raw deal.

I suppose one has to look on the bright side, because at least the Samurai Bank has announced that it will soldier on, but deep cuts are expected and the Ninja Bank says it has taken a big hit but remains in the black.
_____
From: kurekuretakora [oldgit]
Date: 20-Oct-2008 05:09

"But ignorance is highly contagious"

OMG ! OMG ! I Caught the stupids !
Anyone got bactine ?
_____
From: sp00k
Date: 20-Oct-2008 14:16

From: patsystonecheers [Patsy Stone]
Date: 20-Oct-2008 13:49

Vic, I really feel nervous about having my eye pattern on file. I know it
went straight to the gov't. Just like fingerprints.
=====
How do they get the ink on your eye balls and does it hurt when you have to
stick em on that index card?
_____
From: pontius
Date: 22-Oct-2008 18:24

Commie, let me guess. Highly unlikely, huh. Not illegal, damn.

Ok, I got it. You'll dip your dick in mustard, tuck it between your legs and try to catch it from behind.

I'm right, ey?!
~~~~~
From: commie [bastard]
Date: 22-Oct-2008 18:30

I'm out of mustard and I'm not that flexible.
_____
From: onelove [onelove]
Date: 24-Oct-2008 16:30

i do wish to have clarification on something, dd. is "nig-noggery" similar to "honk-honkery" if referring to caucasian conjugal relationships? what is the differentiating factor in deciding who is the "nig-nogger-er" , "nig-nogger-ee", "honk-honker-er", and "honk-honker-ee"? are these terms synonymous, specifically regarding interracial relationships, or are they gender specific? does one "commit" "nig-noggery" / "honk-honkery", is one a "victim" of "nig-noggery" / honk-honkery", or do both parties "partake" in "nig-noggery" / "honk-honkery"? is it actually "honk-honkery" or is it "hink-honkery"? does one also partake in "nog-noggery" at christmas time when drinking egg nog?

thank you in advance.
_____
From: chinnuts [Got Three For Ya]
Date: 28-Oct-2008 07:36

If you children can't play nice, I'm going to pull this internet over
and give you all a heaping helping of belt soup.
_____
From: kurekuretakora [oldgit]
Date: 27-Oct-2008 12:31

"it's really hard to find black bedding"
It's being held back by the wicked white bedding. Check under the counters. Luckily, when president Obama gets in the black sheet will be on top.
Maybe folks will even make costumes out of them
A kind of Klan in negative.
_____
From: absintheredux [Green Death]
Date: 30-Oct-2008 17:02

Phoenix, you've always been and are a total delight! As Christopher Fry said there's no such thing as a "phoenix too frequent".

From: absintheredux [Green Death]
Date: 30-Oct-2008 17:05

Phoenix my solar plexus went "bam bam" when I visualized your curly toes. Girl, that was quite an image!
_____
From: sp00k
Date: 13-Nov-2008 09:18

From: chinnuts [Got Three For Ya]
Date: 13-Nov-2008 08:41

I haven't been around the FFA much these last few months. So I ask, "what
happened to this place?"

Did The Duder make it the internet equivalent of Section 8 / Council Housing
with extra subsidies for the profoundly retarded?
====
The place has gotten better then?
_____
From: thesickthsense [iseewhitepeople!]
Date: 22-Nov-2008 21:49

Anybody around? I figured something out that's
pretty cool (and useful for you, not just on
rotten but.. say, on google images and shit).

Tired of getting the 'hot-linking' image instead
of the one you click on?

No more my (firefox) friends!

In the address bar at the top, type "about:config"
without the quotes. Now, scroll down until you
find this setting: network.http.sendRefererHeader

Once you find it, double-click it and modify the
value (probably 2) to 0.

Set to 0, no referer header is sent (ie - the
site thinks you're already 'THERE'... and not
pulling 'remotely'.

You're welcome.
_____
From: studgerbil [Stud]
Date: 23-Nov-2008 11:08

abluecommunist(13)absintheredux(18)alabama(1)androloma(42)arnold(1)
athenstexman(1)bedfart(1)bruce(12)cracker666(8)daredevil(17)
diarrheaomelette(1)dikwitha(1)elfboy(2)fiendwith(14)fucktardmama(3)
gargoyle1(83)garqoyle1(1)gingerbrown(1)godzilla1(29)grimlittledollie(1)
heraclitus(24)ikthool(3)kurekuretakora(15)kushed(2)lonestarcracker(1)
menehune(1)merrillvillain(5)munchkin(80)murderburger138(1)
myrtle(1)noracejusthuman(0)nudeanaglyphs(1)other(1)patsystonecheers(31)
phoenixrising(2)pontius(69)prozactoiraq(1)qargoyle1(1)rectalfissure(20)
sensuous(1)shitfish(17)sirbutlust(2)sirmalek(1)t0llyb0ng(2)tartedup(1)
tat2dchick(18)the1uluv2hate(1)thelurker(10)theodread(1)thesickthsense(3)
uggh(1)vicmasterblower(2)zebrabob(1)

There - I've blocked everyone. Muhahahaha.
_____
From: kurekuretakora [oldgit]
Date: 26-Nov-2008 02:16

Well the Photo Competition was a big, fat flop. Oh well, at least I tried.
I declare Phoe the winner for the "cwute wickle sqwiwill" photo and me runner up simply because I can.

Cracker came an honorable third with his "Cat and hairy dude with plastic tits" photo which was worthy of Warhol at his peak.

So much for trying to introduce a bit of "fun". Obviously people would rather spend their time insulting each other and ploughing their own particular furrows of stupid.
~~~~~
http://forums.dailyrotten.com/652/00030562/
_____
From: absintheredux [Green Death]
Date: 3-Dec-2008 04:29

From: phoenixrising [out of the ashes...]
Date: 2-Dec-2008 23:33

My entry pic for Lesbian Day.



_____

Phoe, sensational sensuality!

I have printed it and it is on my wall.
Almost dropped it as my palms were damp (as my brow).

You have a real eye!
_____
From: kyotay2001 [We all have our bears to cross]
Date: 5-Dec-2008 19:28

You know anyone who is considering children should really try a pet first. They are a big pain in the ass. If only there were an effective way of communicating with them.

Anybody want to buy a .. a Whatever the fuck this ugly stupid thing is? I have been calling it moron but it answers to noobrace. If you put some socks over its paws it might not fling so much shit.

I'll start the bidding at 2 stale cheetos and a broken rubber band.

Any one interested?
_____
From: androloma [the Manchurian Centurion]
Date: 6-Dec-2008 05:58

Okiedokie, morning shift's here.
What were we quibbling about this fine feathered day?

What to name gay cliques of Rottonians? Broken bones and cold temperatures? A lot of the same old invectives, and a birthday today for gargoyle? British bands and sirbutlust's beagle?

Man, if you guys ever went to other forums, you'd learn that this place is so much better. Even your quibbling over minutiae is entertaining. Unless I just have strange interests.

Happy birthday gargoyle. Is it 52? Hope all is well with the rest of the crew as well. I enjoy reading the rapier wit of pontius, the glib observations of oldgit, the snide erudition of daredevil, the faux meanderings of sirbutlust, the righteous indignation of goyle's imagined retributions, the sophisticated tributes of absintheredux, the cockney brogue of snatchvondrippy, the straightforward humor of cracker, the affected condensation of rectalfissure, the demented pentameter of t0llyb0ng, the wry and pendantic ruminations of fiend, cherished desires for the mundane presented by onelove, the relentless and acerbic self-scrutiny dontsqueak enables, the enlightening possibilities for detrimental conspiracies bluecommie alerts us to, the tempered even-handedness from conspiracytheory, the appreciative nature of ikthool, the instigating bellicosity of ciaochowbella, the steadying hand of lordpakul, the overt provocations of catwoman, the peurile but heartfelt condemnations by totenhawk and even the guerilla tactic posting of norace.

Perhaps no one more than I learns that to read all you diverse people communicating, even bickering, is still preferable to the ringing silence of the void. I can do nothing more than to encourage all of you to remain yourselves; so you may find a solace here.

Good day!

From: androloma [the Manchurian Centurion]
Date: 6-Dec-2008 06:02

Oh, and who but my neglectful ass could forget the sympathetic salve of phoenixrising, or the malevolent mischief of munchkin, or the maternal perceptions of maidenmaiden?

I left out lurker because lurkers are mysterious, and tend not to reveal much about themselves.
_____
From: thelurker [I lurk in the shadows]
Date: 6-Dec-2008 08:43

Ok family time over and now I must go Christmas shopping....

For my boyfriend I'm getting concert tickets... and a shit load of new underwear (he needs them, trust me) and in a gift bag I'm going to put the concert tickets at the bottom and stack on top all his new undies... hehehe his face will be priceless....

I'm not sure what I'm getting my mom...

My brother is getting video games...

My grandma is getting candles.. she has one scent she loves and it's only out at Christmas so I'm buying enough to hopefully last the year

My grandpa is practically obsessed with Readers Digest so I'm getting him a subscription...

...yay.... now to brave the malls .... if I'm not back later watch the news from Halifax, NS....
~~~~~
From: gargoyle1
Date: 6-Dec-2008 08:47

Dateline Halifax, NS

Woman goes ballistic in mall, chokes shoppers with new mens undies and pummels them with scented candles. One victim found with video games in rectum. Subscritions to Readers Digest found scattered among the debris. She was screaming she still didn't know what to get for mom.
_____
From: sp00k
Date: 11-Dec-2008 09:24

Some warm mulled cider, a slice of orange and cinnamon stick in it, soft blanket, ahhh
===
A bottle of tequila, a dwarf, whipped cream, a table, a dozen bananas
and a roll of electrical tape.
_____
From: absintheredux [Green Death]
Date: 11-Dec-2008 17:17

Wow, whoever is the person that gets infected with herpes every 30 seconds must be really pretty sexually indefatigable. Getting herpes 7200 times per hour would totally wear me down.

I'd demand weekends off and paid vacations.
_____
From: onelove [onelove]
Date: 14-Dec-2008 16:10

i was thinking about what you said earlier, gargy, about how if i went door to door to see if anyone would own up to leaving these kittehs. i have found a solution that will stop anyone from leaving anything in or near my car again.

i am going to write a sign and stick it in my car window. it will read:

"thank you for the kittehs. they were delicious!"
~~~~~
From: onelove [onelove]
Date: 15-Dec-2008 21:04

i did. i wrote it really messy and bold, and i even added bbq sauce finger prints, drips, and smudges for added special effects.
_____
From: judge [jury and executioner]
Date: 16-Dec-2008 17:06

1. A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
2. The "save" icon on Microsoft Word shows a floppy disk, with the shutter on backwards.
3. The combination "ough" can be pronounced in nine different ways. The following sentence contains them all:
"A rough-coated, dough-faced, thoughtful ploughman strode through the streets of Scarborough; after falling into a slough, he coughed and hiccoughed."
4. The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.
5. Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs only have about ten.
6. The word "Checkmate" in chess comes from the Persian phrase "Shah Mat," which means, "the king is dead".
7. Pinocchio is Italian for "pine head."
8. In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.
9. The United States has never lost a war in which mules were used.
10. All porcupines float in water.
11. The airplane Buddy Holly died in was called "American Pie." (Thus the name of the Don McLean song.)
12. The only nation whose name begins with an "A", but doesn't end in an "A" is Afghanistan.
13. If you toss a penny 10,000 times, it will not be heads 5,000 times, but more like 4,950. The heads picture weighs more, so it ends up on the bottom.
14. The longest word in the English language, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. The only other word with the same amount of letters is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconioses, its plural.
15. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
16. Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
17. Wilma Flintstone's maiden name was Wilma Slaghoopal, and Betty Rubble's Maiden name was Betty Jean Mcbricker.
18. Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.
19. The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "Its A Wonderful Life."
20. The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.
21. "Stewardesses" is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand.
22. A group of unicorns is called a blessing. Twelve or more cows are known as a "flink." A group of frogs is called an army. A group of rhinos is called a crash. A group of kangaroos is called a mob. A group of whales is called a pod. A group of ravens is called a murder. A group of officers is called a mess. A group of larks is called an exaltation. A group of owls is called a parliament.
23. Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.
24. The phrase "sleep tight" derives from the fact that early mattresses were filled with straw and held up with rope stretched across the bedframe. A tight sleep was a comfortable sleep.
25. Studies show that if a cat falls off the seventh floor of a building it has about thirty percent less chance of surviving than a cat that falls off the twentieth floor. It supposedly takes about eight >floors for the cat to realize what is occurring, relax and correct itself.
26. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111=12,345,678,987,654,321
27. If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes. (note: if the rider's head is up the horse's rear, the rider died a politician.)
28. No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, and purple.
29. Clans of long ago that wanted to get rid of their unwanted people without killing them used to burn their houses down - hence the expression "to get fired."
30. There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.
31. A snail can sleep for 3 years.
32. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"? -- One thousand
33. What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers all have in common?-- All were invented by women.
34. Married men revealed that they change their underwear twice as often as single men.
35. 40% of all people who come to a party in your home snoop in your medicine cabinet.
36. The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time television were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
37. Coca-Cola was originally green.
38. Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.
39. It is possible to lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs.
_____
From: gargoyle1
Date: 20-Dec-2008 11:48

Asshat Troll Disease:

A terrible debilitating mental condition. Easy to diagnose but nearly impossible to treat or cure. Only known treatments are to ignore it with hopes of it starving to death or outright banning from a forum. Method of transmission is unknown although some research shows that it might be genetic in origin.

Symptoms include self delusional behavior, rampant stupidity, with a gradual degeneration into being a complete drooling retard. Loss of all friends on a forum except possibly other sufferers of Asshat Troll Disease. Also the victims seem completely oblivious to the fact that they are hated, despised and ridiculed. No life outside the forum is noted. Spouses and children and outside interests are non entities to the victims of this syndrome. In real life they are fucking idiots as well. Many will abuse spouses and children, lose jobs and become completely enthralled in the forum, spending as much time as is possible there making assinine posts, causing more creative members to write software to make them unseen and failing to understand that no one likes them at all and that other posters would actually wish them a painful, public and rather messy end. The general IQ of the Asshat Troll victim goes down dramatically as time goes on until they're left as a drooling idiot. They don't seem to understand the dangers of having their location or photos of family known by the rest of the forum either. They whine incessantly about feeling cheated when they are foolish enough to make a "bet" and then don't get paid.

Help us find the cure today, donate to the Asshat Troll Foundation. And please, remember, the only known treatment is to ignore them completely.
_____
From: crapola [Quit_Bitchin]
Date: 16-Feb-2009 08:47

From: thesickthsense [iseewhitepeople!]
Date: 16-Feb-2009 07:32

** GM and Chrysler have until Tuesday to prove to the government
** that they have a viable turnaround plan.

How many times has Chrysler been bought and sold? LOL. GM and it's hyper-redundant model lines, killing off the oldest line of American cars produced and blatantly ignoring the market demands. Not to mention Fords customer service package insuring their customers are kept warm and toasty with spontaneous fires. (it's not just the pinto) They don't have a fucking clue.

Tucker was the "savior" of the US auto industry, and they crucified him. If we pray real hard maybe he will come back and save us. Please join me.

Oh Tucker, who art in industrialization
hallowed be thy vision.
Thy engines run,
thy models be fun
on country road and highway.
Give us this day, our daily mode
Of transport, to deliver
Our wanted products and groceries.
For thine is the torque, and the horsepower, and the luxury, for ever and ever.

Amen
###
See ya in Hell fuckers!
_____
From: muscat [nobelium]
Date: 16-Feb-2009 16:29

But seriously, imagine It making this face here:
;0
Try making that face yourself.

(god laughs at his children making funny faces in front of the computer)
_____
From: assholius [ikthool]
Date: 24-Feb-2009 20:40

I'm usualy a beer and whiskey guy, but I do like gin and tonics when it's hot,bloody Marys in the morning, prairie fires when I intend to get really drunk, and 100 proof schnapps when the day sucked out loud and I want to put it behind me right the fuck now.
_____
From: assholius [ikthool]
Date: 1-Mar-2009 22:06

>>Digitally-speaking, threads are white landscapes invaded by little
nigger pixels. Every time you bastards type a letter, BAM.. you're
injecting about 20 little pixilated porch-monkeys into threadland.<<
TSS I love you in the most non gay way possible.

So who else thinks TSS is so bugshit crazy he could take down a polar bear with a box of matches?
_____
From: cyran0 [de Ballsac]
Date: 19-Mar-2009 12:37

As Phoe were leaving Iraq
the heel of her shoe got stuck
With the help of a rickshaw
a crowbar & a hacksaw
she were able to climb on the truck

From: cyran0 [de Ballsac]
Date: 19-Mar-2009 14:21

When Phoe had to live in da 'hood
she survived as best as she could
Were lean times & phat
but she got over that
& learned how ta party real good

From: cyran0 [de Ballsac]
Date: 19-Mar-2009 16:24

When Phoe were leavin' from Leipzig
were something not right with her left leg
so she checked with Herr Doktor in Nuremberg
& left with a script for Baden-Wurttemberg

From: cyran0 [de Ballsac]
Date: 19-Mar-2009 17:00

Whilst Phoe were flying outta Greensboro
her engine sucked in a sparrow
& she were headed toward the Atlantic
in a panic

But the Coast Guard managed to save 'her
by means of a special maneuver
involving a parachute & a diver

From: cyran0 [de Ballsac]
Date: 19-Mar-2009 17:21
Whilst flyin' into Hong Kong
Phoey suspected a bomb
but nothin' ever came of it
the plane landed in spite of it
& everyone's life just went on
% %
Flyin' into Saigon
Phoey were workin' on a sarong
'Twere a polyester blend
mixed with little gold threads
& it matched with her favorite thong

From: cyran0 [de Ballsac]
Date: 19-Mar-2009 17:49

Whilst Phoey were leaving Stuttgart
she were also ripping my heart out
So who will love me now
Who will hold me in my beddie
Nobody

From: cyran0 [de Ballsac]
Date: 18-Mar-2009 16:31
Phoe were headed out the door
when the phone rang once more
% %
Having checked in at Bangkok
Phoey got stopped by a cop
He checked out her passport
& made out a report
but then said fuckit & gave up
% %
Having checked in in Shanghai
Phoe got mixed up with a spy
The authorities detained her
& stripped her & whipped her
then realized she were the wrong guy
~~~~~
From: cyran0 [de Ballsac]
Date: 20-Mar-2009 13:51
Iz zis Weirdsville yet
or wut
% %
Phoe were at her plateau
at the South Pole
where her ultimate goal
were now a go

From: cyran0 [de Ballsac]
Date: 20-Mar-2009 13:55

Flyin' into Buffalo Phoe
decided to skydive solo
& went out the back do'

From: cyran0 [de Ballsac]
Date: 20-Mar-2009 14:24

Awaiting departure from Barcelona
Phoe ordered a burger & a soda
She sat there & gawked
as the crowd walked
& then she ordered anotha

From: cyran0 [de Ballsac]
Date: 20-Mar-2009 14:49

Once, in one of her rages
Phoe's psyche were highly inflated
A Taser put her down
But then she came 'round
& phenobarb were promptly injected

From: cyran0 [de Ballsac]
Date: 20-Mar-2009 15:05

Once, in one of her rages
Phoe's psyche were outrageously inflatious
Sedatives were prescribed
& promptly imbibed
& she drifted off into unconsciousness

From: cyran0 [de Ballsac]
Date: 21-Mar-2009 09:32

Nonstop from Helena to Barcelona
Phoe imbibed a $5 Corona
then she snuck in the loo
smoked half a doob
& ate a slice of bologna

From: cyran0 [de Ballsac]
Date: 21-Mar-2009 14:54

Flyin' into Belize
Phoey needed to sneeze
She let go a big one
& snot went a-flyin'
& urine dripped down to her knees
_____
From: daredevil [CameronVale]
Date: 2-May-2009 07:14
Phoey was buggered in Barcelona
Shagged in Macedonia
Raped in Bologna
And cunnilinged in Polonia

From: daredevil [CameronVale]
Date: 2-May-2009 07:17
She were spat upon in Cleveland
Sucked knob in New Zealand
And ate ass in Greenland

From: patsystonecheers [Patsy Stone]
Date: 2-May-2009 07:18
Phoe was cuddled in Caledonia,
caressed in Krakow,
and fondled in the Fjords.

From: daredevil [CameronVale]
Date: 2-May-2009 07:24
Phoe were assuaged in Abyssinia
Coerced in Cairo
And manipulated in Mesopotamia

From: daredevil [CameronVale]
Date: 2-May-2009 07:31
She were rogered in Roma
Manhandled in Manhattan
And kissed in Kamchatka

From: daredevil [CameronVale]
Date: 2-May-2009 07:35
Phoe munched scungilli in Salamanca
Artichokes in Alexandria
And clambake in Kalamazoo

From: cyran0 [de Ballsac]
Date: 5-May-2009 14:31
Phoe rode a phallus in Dallas
slathered on a shlong in Hong Kong
& gargled a ballsack in Alsace

From: cyran0 [de Ballsac]
Date: 5-May-2009 14:42
Phoe rode on a ballsack in Frontenac
& gobbled a knob or two in Hackensack

From: cyran0 [de Ballsac]
Date: 5-May-2009 17:50
Phoe flashed her nipples in Stippville
& showed pink in Lincoln

From: patsystonecheers [Patsy Stone]
Date: 5-May-2009 17:58
Fishing for flounder in Ft. Lauderdale,
Phoe fantasized of flaccid Phoenicians

From: bedfart [lurker in]
Date: 14-May-2009 06:58
Some rotters told Cyran0
They didn't wanna hear no
mo
about Phoe.

++
Hooked on Phoenix
Damn It's fuckin' contagious
Keep up the bad work people!

From: absintheredux [Green Death]
Date: 14-May-2009 16:29
At the crow of the Roocester
Phoe departed for Gloucester
For her breakfast had Loubcester
But a ruffian sneaked up and Goocester

From: cyran0 [de Ballsac]
Date: 15-May-2009 14:51
Phoe were gaseous in Damascus
farty at Montmartre
& nauseous in Gaza

From: cyran0 [de Ballsac]
Date: 15-May-2009 15:03
DD & Patsy, thanks for your wonderful
contributions to this "genre."
% %
Phoe were on a roll in Pensacola
feelin' fine in Caroline
& were a tease in the Keys
% %
Phoe tugged a cock in Tacoma
sucked on a sack in Saratoga
tongued a tit in Tijuana
& licked out a pussy in Panama

From: sp00k
Date: 15-May-2009 15:11
Phoe were gaseous in Gaza
farty at France
& nauseous in Nassau
===
Thought you needed a little help with that one

From: cyran0 [de Ballsac]
Date: 16-May-2009 17:22
Phoe had a rendezvous with sp00k in an igloo
had a fling with GD in Beijing
& met up with Rotten duder in Vancouver
% %
Phoe were irresistible in Istanbul
swingin' in Tubingen
& loose as a goose in Vera Cruz
% %
Phoe were threatening in Glendenning
psychotic in Rotterdam
repressed in Budapest
& a menace in Venice

From: androloma [the Manchurian Centurion]
Date: 17-Apr-2009 19:14

They describe mine as giant! And with radiation for reward? Many are my tribulations, that tear at mine flesh with the haughty appeal that may only be compared to the indefatigable, skin-chewing harpie.

Woe is me, forwith! Woe, I says, says I. [image:imageput.com]
_____
From: patsystonecheers [Patsy Stone]
Date: 2-May-2009 08:36
On the Jersey Shore,
Phoe found sanctuary
with a dildo she called 'Thor'

From: daredevil [CameronVale]
Date: 2-May-2009 08:44
On Sandy Hook Phoe found some nook
In Point Pleasant she snogged a peasant
At Bel-Mar she smoked black tar
And had a lark at Asbury Park

From: cyran0 [de Ballsac]
Date: 2-May-2009 11:20
Phoe were funny at Ft. Benning
& delightfulous at Annapolis

From: kurekuretakora [oldgit]
Date: 20-May-2009 07:56

Phoe were terribly alone and
forgotten in Manhattan.
And best not ask what went down
in Condom.

From: qwerty5 [.]
Date: 18-Jun-2009 21:00
From: daredevil [CameronVale]
Date: 18-Jun-2009 20:54

Phoey were incredibly sexy in Saxony,
Very libidinous in Liberia

Cock-hungry indeed in dick-laden Detroit
And ass-wanton in Waziristan.
# # #
you are the homeless, paint huffing, thunderbird version of cyran0. Nice.
___
From: sp00k
Date: 24-Jun-2009 23:50
At least you didn't jump off the bed and land on your $3000 cat
___
From: studgerbil [Stud]
Date: 6-Jul-2009 20:08

Phoe were earbit in Cologne,
Nose-nibbled in Nurnberg,
Ass-bit in the Augsburg,

And Donkeypunched in Dresden.

From: cyran0 [de Ballsac]
Date: 24-Jul-2009 12:30

From: baschalove [TheHostessWithTheMostest]
Date: 24-Jul-2009 12:09

cyrano?
I see you're [sic] Phoe poems everyday [sic].
What's up with that?
% %
I like that name: Phoe.

Plus the fact that she's really a spook for
the CIA with awesome 007 skillz & has
traveled the world over several times.
% %
Phoe likes the flavor
of Sunday morning flapjacks
& the sweet lingonberry essence
exuded by ballsacks
_____
The amazing thing about the following post is that Billy has been
dead for like 3/4 days now.

From: billymays
Date: 2-Jul-2009 20:35

Hi, Billy Mays here with a fantastic offer to rid Rotten of trolls, shitposters, and spamming assholes who make life hell for all of us.

Are you tired of logical arguments, buggy plugins, and futile ignore tactics?

Do you log on to rotten and cry for the future of humanity?

Is your internet life meaningless and filled with pompous cliquish fuckwits?

Introducing POWER STRIP!

Yes, the POWER STRIP is perfect for rapidly unplugging your PC and prompting a lengthy sojourn outdoors! Why spend all day bitching at text on a screen representing people you'll never meet when you can spend time with the kids, wash the dog, or even fill your wife's cooter with your seed?

"It was so warm inside me, I don't know what I'd do without POWER STRIP"

But wait! If you turn off your computer in the next ten minutes, you'll also receive a *free bonus offer* with your order!

Introducing: the SOCIAL LIFE!

Yes, the SOCIAL LIFE will enable you to bang people whose names you will forget in a week, drink far more alcohol than would be considered healthy, and even contribute to the AIDS quilt as one of several hundred thousand patches!
So don't delay, get the POWER STRIP and SOCIAL LIFE today!
Only $19.95 (plus shipping and handling)

From: abluecommunist [Red is for republicans, dammit!]
Date: 18-Jul-2009 09:03
Pickens 9:40
Yea, and without the fucknut to draw the ire of the freeforallites, they turned upon one another in an orgy of death, blood, and taco seasoning. Mmmm. Tacos.
_____
From: p
Date: 19-Jul-2009 07:35
FU, how's it feel to be crucified for almost 24 hours now?
I can't feel a thing so far.
_____
http://forums.dailyrotten.com/855/0003