My Dead Pool for 2009

1-Bob Barker
2-George H.W. Bush
3-Nancy Reagan
4-Roger Ebert
5-Zsa Zsa Gabor
6-Ted Kennedy XXXX
7-Ruth Lilly
8-I. M. Pei
9-Patrick Swayze XXXX
10-Gloria Vanderbilt

To post a photo, follow these directions

1 - find a photo that ends in .jpg
2 - right-click on the photo and click "copy image location"
3 - paste onto your post
4 - preview
5 - did the image appear in the preview? If "yes" then you did good
and then click "add my message".
If "no", you fucked up and have to do it again.

For example

I paste "http://accurateedmonton.com/art/600_curtainwall.jpg"
in my post and wha-la, this photo appears of curtain wall installation.



Now, let's talk curtain walls. Love it? hate it? or just indifferent?
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“The whole world is three drinks behind,”

Humphrey Bogart proclaimed in 1950. “If everyone in the world would take three drinks, we would have no trouble. If Stalin, Truman and everybody else in the world had three drinks right now, we’d all loosen up and we wouldn’t need the United Nations.”
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“Bartender, one more pony Bud, please. They give me the illusion of height to fend off the Lilliputians.”

Reggie elevating his stature and sense of the absurd in Hank’s Saloon, Brooklyn N.Y.
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“Depression is just anger without enthusiasm. It’s an empty beer bottle with no one worth throwing it at.”

Norma M., her seething rage barely contained by apathy at the Cricket on the Hill.
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“There’s a point where every man has to draw the line and say enough is enough, Eric. The problem I run into is that I’m a real patient person.”

Ralph justifying his latest blackout to the bartender at the Starlite Cafe in Jacksonville.
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“I’ll fuck the guinea pig but I won’t be the fuckin’ guinea pig.”

Jeff, drunk but not crazy drunk, being dared to jump off a balcony into the Chicago River.
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"I kinda like it when the girl makes me buy her a drink or two before making out with me—makes it look like she has standards. At least one of us should."

"Fearless" Jim explaining the intricacies of barroom romance in a NYC tavern.
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All the world's answers can be found at the bottom of the bottle.
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From: heraclitus [and in measures dying out]
Date: 25-Oct-2008 22:58

Here is the finished poem as far as stanzas go. I will of course need to revise and refine it. I am not entirely happy with the metre, it sticks together at some points. So poetry in the raw for those who enjoy it, I offer my humble poem.

Was the die not cast in 49 BC
Or cast before the eyes of you and me
Have not our conquerors yet come to conquer us
With pilfered wealth to them we did entrust

What foreign lands we gave to them to plunder
Now weep to see our treasured land asunder
Can not the lofted prince nor lowly pauper spare
The gilded fort now thrown into despair

Have we not eyes that see the coming set
Or ears too, no guile has yet beset
Will Antioch crumble in this darkened hour
For serpent and eagle come now to devour

What hope have we on this glooming horizon
Or glimmer of the days of glory gone
Shall we not to our low houses retire
And spy this world now 'gulfed within the fire

Yet on the morrow pray the preacher speaks
Of renewed glory once upon high peaks
Seek us not in vain this cherished bold endeavor
Nor let the darkness loom o're head forever
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From: godzilla1 [What the X called my Package]
Date: 22-Nov-2008 10:56

Sorry Pats,
I really thought I posted my numerous trials or emailed it.

Now, there was only 2 kinds of Irish Whiskey to choose from, both were too
potent (after taste), as was our Canadian Crown Royal.

Tried 4 different evap milk, and Eagle worked the best.

I ended up using CC (Canadian Club Premium 2 cups).
Water and sugar were fine by your specs. I think the unprocessed sugar better then the white, but that's just me.
4 cans of Eagle (8oz), all we haz up here, we're metric.
Cocoa was right, but had to use a blender to dissolve in the hot water.

Chuck the water and cocoa in the freezer, found this important, don't let
it freeze.

Rest is in a jug in the fridge, chillin yo yo.

Makes close to 2 litres, and 2 tall boy testers (or maybe 3...)

The other recipe had too many steps.

Key here, is everythings cold, if not close to frozen when ya mix 'er up.

Cheers
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From: crapola [Quit_Bitchin]
Date: 19-Mar-2009 15:28
Have you ever been out of your state?
--
Yes, I have lived in several.
And with the Army traveled to distant lands, meet people of a different culture and; killed them.
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From: absintheredux [Green Death]
Date: 27-Jun-2009 12:53
I am posting this again and probably again later, at least it's not the same old porn ten times a day.

[As the True Believers gather in the nave of the "First Church of Media and Public Opinion", the High Priest raises his arms and invokes the Spirit of Our Sacred Hearst]

"Now, on pain of Excommunication, all will repeat after me the Articles of Our Faith:

o OJ killed his wife
o Michael Jackson buggered kids
o Robert Blake whacked his Old Lady

So be it known, and by all believed unquestioned"

[A small voice pipes up from the back row and asks]:

"But... weren't they all declared "Not Guilty" by the Almighty Jury-Of-Their-Peers, the very same we so often praise when Heretics dare question the Guilt of Evil Men?"

[sudden silence as heads turn around to glare at the interloper]

[crowd, intones in unison]: "Not-Guilty does not Mean Innocent!"

[small voice, frightened]: "but... I thought there was no such verdict as 'Innocent' "

[crowd shouts in unison]: "Kill the Pedo-Loving, Wife-Killer-Loving, Heretic. Burn him at the stake as ordered in Bloviticus!"

[At a sign from the High Priest four burly ushers frog-march the wretch out of the Church and as the doors close, one hears the crackling of fire and muffled screams].

And so was restored Peace and Unity among the Flock, at the very small price of an impromptu auto-da-fe.

Amen.
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From: cyran0 [de Ballsac]
Date: 29-Jun-2009 17:29
Patsy likes espresso
& cafe au lait
& the Paris Metro
& a walk on the quais
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From: cyran0 [de Ballsac]
Date: 2-Jul-2009 17:54
Patsy likes rotary phones
& traffic cones
& stainless steel
& spinning wheels
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From: cyran0 [de Ballsac]
Date: 9-Jul-2009 17:07
Patsy likes Pad Thai
& rhubarb pie
& cats' eyes
& mai tais
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My favorite quotes of this past episode of True Blood 8-23-09:

The order is to retreat. We will un-fuck this situation at a later date (Terry)

At least shoot the cheaper liquor! Bottom shelf! Bottom shelf! (Arlene)

How'd the hell you get them out? (Andy) Well I threatened to shoot a bunch of nails into Arlene's brain (Jason)

This has got to be the worst motherfucking intervention in history (Lafayette)

Bullshit! God has horns (Terry)

Lord smite me! Smite me motherfucker! (Sam)

I'm not your fucking slave girl! (Tara) Tara, if there is a time to listen to a white man, this is it (Lafayette)
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